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What Happens to you at age 25 / Mid-20s
What Happens to you at age 25 / Mid-20s
What happens at age 25, your mid-20’s. Make sure to click on video above to direct you straight to Youtube
You start to become purposefully conscious about being an adult, like a bulb suddenly lit in your head, thus shining light on all the things that seemed far off, dead to you or that you may have taken for granted. In reaction, you experience the sense of urgency to make a bold move and push for the many things that you want to accomplish.
For instance, you suddenly become obsessed about the things you have achieved and not achieved in your life that you believed or hoped that you would have accomplished, such as your career and financial goals, relationship goals, health goals, and preoccupation with your life’s purpose.
You may begin to compare your life, with that of your peers including friends and family. And worse in this internet age, you start to compare your life with strangers online; people that you only know because the internet exist and would never likely know but then it feels so real.
If you're like most people, you'll realise that your far behind in everything that you had hoped to achieve in your mid-20's. However, the people that outperform the most of us are not a majority of the population and may not be any special. It's likely that they were lucky enough to start off on the right path for them in time.
Nonetheless, by your mid-20's you’ve probably learned so much from your experiences that prepare you for the tougher life ahead. For instance, you learn that change is constant and failure is subjective, you experience profound self-awareness and become more open-minded regarding your views about life, but also form a more solid stance of who you are and where you want to be in life. You learn to stop caving in into the pressure that society and everyone else puts on you. And you know to stand up for your self.
In the end when you discuss with others, you eventually realise that you're not alone. Most people think that by the age of 25 in their mid-20's that they should have already figured out life and have about everything in order for the future. But life is never straightforward and you wished someone had told you that before now.
07/08/2019
PS: All animated vector photos used for creating my YouTube video were freely collected from https://www.freepik.com. Creators include freepik, microvector, vectorpouch, vectorpocket, rawpixel, studiogstock and many more !
You start to become purposefully conscious about being an adult, like a bulb suddenly lit in your head, thus shining light on all the things that seemed far off, dead to you or that you may have taken for granted. In reaction, you experience the sense of urgency to make a bold move and push for the many things that you want to accomplish.
For instance, you suddenly become obsessed about the things you have achieved and not achieved in your life that you believed or hoped that you would have accomplished, such as your career and financial goals, relationship goals, health goals, and preoccupation with your life’s purpose.
You may begin to compare your life, with that of your peers including friends and family. And worse in this internet age, you start to compare your life with strangers online; people that you only know because the internet exist and would never likely know but then it feels so real.
If you're like most people, you'll realise that your far behind in everything that you had hoped to achieve in your mid-20's. However, the people that outperform the most of us are not a majority of the population and may not be any special. It's likely that they were lucky enough to start off on the right path for them in time.
Nonetheless, by your mid-20's you’ve probably learned so much from your experiences that prepare you for the tougher life ahead. For instance, you learn that change is constant and failure is subjective, you experience profound self-awareness and become more open-minded regarding your views about life, but also form a more solid stance of who you are and where you want to be in life. You learn to stop caving in into the pressure that society and everyone else puts on you. And you know to stand up for your self.
In the end when you discuss with others, you eventually realise that you're not alone. Most people think that by the age of 25 in their mid-20's that they should have already figured out life and have about everything in order for the future. But life is never straightforward and you wished someone had told you that before now.
07/08/2019
PS: All animated vector photos used for creating my YouTube video were freely collected from https://www.freepik.com. Creators include freepik, microvector, vectorpouch, vectorpocket, rawpixel, studiogstock and many more !
Beware - Mental Health in Graduate School
Beware - Mental Health in Graduate School
Many suffer from mental health in graduate school so here's what I have to say to spark the discussion on this supposedly forbidden topic or click on video above to direct you straight to Youtube
1. If you’re a graduate student and you are feeling overwhelmed, confused, and or depressed you’re not alone. Hence the reason why I chose to speak on this because it appears that no one ever wants to talk about the mental health struggles of graduate school. Yet everyone of my colleague that I’ve managed to talk to have all experienced some form of mental stress as a graduate student. Everyone keeps quiet and graduate students are expected to just go along like its normal when it obviously not fine.
2. First of all one needs to bear in mind that in graduate school, you expected to learn so much in depth knowledge within a short period of time and produce quality work. So the workload which includes reading for classes and the amount of assignments for each course is very much. Your expected to spend close to 15 hours per week for each course. However, its just not the number of hours that you have to read that causes the mental breakdown, it is the mental energy that is expended to read close to 500 pages or more for each course, multiply that by the number of courses which is usually well over a 1000 pages of reading. This especially takes it toll on you in the first couple of semesters. You experience high levels of mental stress that if not addressed can lead to either or both psychological and physical illness. Even the more reason I wonder why no one never talks about it.
3. Graduate students especially need to be advised and assisted in regard to mental health. Several studies show high rates of mental stress among graduate students, more than 50% of graduate students are likely to experience mental health related problems especially depression (just click on any of the articles with the title mental health in graduate school on Google). Hence leading to a large number of graduate students quitting half way through their degree program especially Phd students.
4. If your in the midst of your degree and considering quitting, please pause, take a time to breath and seek counselling as soon as possible, it really helps. I for one can say that it has been of immense help to me throughout my mental stress struggles in graduate school. 5. There is however also trick to learn, which is that you don’t need to spend all of your time reading every word, every sentence, and every page. You need to be skillful in reading only the parts that matter to reduce the mental workload and professors don’t actually expect you to do all of the readings but obviously no one is ever going to tell you that. You just sort of have to figure it all out on your own as you go.
21/09/2019
1. If you’re a graduate student and you are feeling overwhelmed, confused, and or depressed you’re not alone. Hence the reason why I chose to speak on this because it appears that no one ever wants to talk about the mental health struggles of graduate school. Yet everyone of my colleague that I’ve managed to talk to have all experienced some form of mental stress as a graduate student. Everyone keeps quiet and graduate students are expected to just go along like its normal when it obviously not fine.
2. First of all one needs to bear in mind that in graduate school, you expected to learn so much in depth knowledge within a short period of time and produce quality work. So the workload which includes reading for classes and the amount of assignments for each course is very much. Your expected to spend close to 15 hours per week for each course. However, its just not the number of hours that you have to read that causes the mental breakdown, it is the mental energy that is expended to read close to 500 pages or more for each course, multiply that by the number of courses which is usually well over a 1000 pages of reading. This especially takes it toll on you in the first couple of semesters. You experience high levels of mental stress that if not addressed can lead to either or both psychological and physical illness. Even the more reason I wonder why no one never talks about it.
3. Graduate students especially need to be advised and assisted in regard to mental health. Several studies show high rates of mental stress among graduate students, more than 50% of graduate students are likely to experience mental health related problems especially depression (just click on any of the articles with the title mental health in graduate school on Google). Hence leading to a large number of graduate students quitting half way through their degree program especially Phd students.
4. If your in the midst of your degree and considering quitting, please pause, take a time to breath and seek counselling as soon as possible, it really helps. I for one can say that it has been of immense help to me throughout my mental stress struggles in graduate school. 5. There is however also trick to learn, which is that you don’t need to spend all of your time reading every word, every sentence, and every page. You need to be skillful in reading only the parts that matter to reduce the mental workload and professors don’t actually expect you to do all of the readings but obviously no one is ever going to tell you that. You just sort of have to figure it all out on your own as you go.
21/09/2019
Astrology Vs Myers-Briggs
Astrology Vs Myers-Briggs
Most people know about astrology i.e. zodiac signs and horoscopes and many believe in them. So why are people drawn to astrology? Here’s what I think or or click on video above to direct you straight to Youtube
1. First and foremost, people yearn to understand themselves especially why they and others behave the way that they do. People also like predictability and seek meaning about life. And horoscopes to a degree provide answers.
2. However, astrology does not provide all the answers. For instance, zodiac signs and horoscopes for the most part don’t exactly explain the reasoning and processes behind why people behave the way that they do. They are mainly indicators for the broad types of behaviours that certain people are predisposed to. Moreover, a good number of people find that they do not display the behavioural patterns of their assigned zodiac sign or horoscope, and find that their behaviour fits better with a different zodiac sign or horoscope.
3. Psychology generally does a better a job of providing more explicit and detailed explanation for why people behave the way that they do. Personality tests, for instance, are generated and widely used by psychologists for the purpose of understanding human behaviour. While there are several personality tests out there, they remain less common and underutilized among the general population because compared to astrology they require more effort to learn and understand. 4. The Myers-Briggs personality type indicator, for instance, is one of the popular personality tests, which is a useful tool for understanding behaviour and personal outlook on life. Just as there are 12 zodiac signs, there are 16 personality types according to Myers-Briggs and so everyone falls under one of the personality types. You can easily find out your personality type by simply taking the test online and you can learn about each personality online. There are so many online resources. (I suggest that if it's your first time that you try taking the test at least three times either on the same website or on multiple websites, also take the tests when your not feeling overtly stressed or excited and try to space each test by at least a day).
5. Briefly, the personality types are broadly grouped into four categories according to the MBTI Manual from the Myers & Briggs Foundation i.e. Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I) based on one's approach on life, Sensing (S) or Intuition (N) based on one's information processing, Thinking (T) or Feeling (F) based on how one's decisions are made, and Judging (J) or Perceiving (P) based on how structured one's life is. There are more functions to each personality type and many resources online go into detail about each of them.
In sum, according to Myers-Briggs, every person is made up the same number and types of functions, the difference lies in how they are ordered, which thus produces distinct personality and behavioral patterns. Hence, Myers-Briggs is like a map that shows how the brain works. Not only do you get a detailed understanding of how your mind works but you also have a better tool for assessing people in terms of what their core predispositions are and why they behave the way that they do, which is more reliable and accurate than astrology.
18/08/2019
1. First and foremost, people yearn to understand themselves especially why they and others behave the way that they do. People also like predictability and seek meaning about life. And horoscopes to a degree provide answers.
2. However, astrology does not provide all the answers. For instance, zodiac signs and horoscopes for the most part don’t exactly explain the reasoning and processes behind why people behave the way that they do. They are mainly indicators for the broad types of behaviours that certain people are predisposed to. Moreover, a good number of people find that they do not display the behavioural patterns of their assigned zodiac sign or horoscope, and find that their behaviour fits better with a different zodiac sign or horoscope.
3. Psychology generally does a better a job of providing more explicit and detailed explanation for why people behave the way that they do. Personality tests, for instance, are generated and widely used by psychologists for the purpose of understanding human behaviour. While there are several personality tests out there, they remain less common and underutilized among the general population because compared to astrology they require more effort to learn and understand. 4. The Myers-Briggs personality type indicator, for instance, is one of the popular personality tests, which is a useful tool for understanding behaviour and personal outlook on life. Just as there are 12 zodiac signs, there are 16 personality types according to Myers-Briggs and so everyone falls under one of the personality types. You can easily find out your personality type by simply taking the test online and you can learn about each personality online. There are so many online resources. (I suggest that if it's your first time that you try taking the test at least three times either on the same website or on multiple websites, also take the tests when your not feeling overtly stressed or excited and try to space each test by at least a day).
5. Briefly, the personality types are broadly grouped into four categories according to the MBTI Manual from the Myers & Briggs Foundation i.e. Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I) based on one's approach on life, Sensing (S) or Intuition (N) based on one's information processing, Thinking (T) or Feeling (F) based on how one's decisions are made, and Judging (J) or Perceiving (P) based on how structured one's life is. There are more functions to each personality type and many resources online go into detail about each of them.
In sum, according to Myers-Briggs, every person is made up the same number and types of functions, the difference lies in how they are ordered, which thus produces distinct personality and behavioral patterns. Hence, Myers-Briggs is like a map that shows how the brain works. Not only do you get a detailed understanding of how your mind works but you also have a better tool for assessing people in terms of what their core predispositions are and why they behave the way that they do, which is more reliable and accurate than astrology.
18/08/2019
What Judging Types can Learn from Perceiving Types - MBTI
What Judging Types can Learn from Perceiving Types - MBTI
I am going to share some key points that I think judging types can learn from perceiving types especially turbulent judging types. I’ve learnt all of these from personal experience, observing my friends that are perceiving types, and wisdom from matured assertive judging types these things are interrelated. Or click on video above to direct you straight to Youtube.
Amongst the many other characteristics, every personality type, according to the Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator (MBTI) is either judging or perceiving in how they approach life. Perceiving types are more flexible in how they approach life, while judging types are more structured.
It goes without saying that we all as human beings need some form of predictability in this chaotic world. We adopt habits and practices that give us some sense of control on how things happen and play out in our lives. And for judging types being organised and structured is one of the ways we are able to achieve this. Yet we find that life isn’t always fair, it never always works out perfectly. Therefore, overtime we adjust our behaviours to our environment and seek out balance, which includes minimizing the need to control our lives whilst also leaving room for chance.
1. Planning everything: as a judging type you don’t need to plan every and all things. But it isn’t perfectly okay either to leave everything to chance. However, the key is balance, consider being more receptive to failures, disappointments, things not always working the way you prefer or planned because let’s face it you never know what’s going to happen by chance that might disrupt your plans. Don’t be too tough on yourself, let go of the anxiety that comes with your plans failing and leave room for chance.
2. Learn to be spontaneous: it goes with not always planning everything, how you spend every hour of your time. Being rigid feels safe but yet again because it is a comfort zone, you miss our on many great experiences. You start living life a little more when you step out of your comfort zone. Moreover, some of life’s best experiences are never planned.
3. Learn to multitask: although there might be some important exceptions, there is always no need to finish working on one project before moving unto the next one. You can multitask at the same time. In other words, learn to be more flexible in how you approach life, work, and especially responsibilities or duties in general. It is okay to do a bit of everything incrementally and overtime you get more things done. Moreover, setting your mind to finish a particular task within a particular time frame in a long stretch can be counterproductive and even worse disappointing especially when you fail to meet the deadline that you have set for yourself. At the very least, remember to take a break, and come back to whatever your doing. For example, I have learnt and i find that doing one task and then taking a break to do another task rather than just focusing on finishing one task at a time is less mentally tasking and even more productive. Working for long hours on one task can can take so much mental energy or lead to stress. Besides, I doubt human beings are naturally weird to focus on doing one thing for long even though some of us are naturally better at doing that than others.
4. Always room for improvement: you don’t have to be set in your ways, be more willing to be open-minded to trying other methods to achieving or completing a particular task no matter how much or long your own method has been working for you, there is no on one rule-book to getting anything done. It is okay if your old method that you are used to fails to work, there are multiple ways methods and perhaps even better ones. Keep experimenting with the trial and error method that is how you learn better and new ways of doing things, it could be something as simple as how you cook a particular meal try doing it some other way. Life isn’t that serious and no method is ever perfect.
19/10/2019
Amongst the many other characteristics, every personality type, according to the Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator (MBTI) is either judging or perceiving in how they approach life. Perceiving types are more flexible in how they approach life, while judging types are more structured.
It goes without saying that we all as human beings need some form of predictability in this chaotic world. We adopt habits and practices that give us some sense of control on how things happen and play out in our lives. And for judging types being organised and structured is one of the ways we are able to achieve this. Yet we find that life isn’t always fair, it never always works out perfectly. Therefore, overtime we adjust our behaviours to our environment and seek out balance, which includes minimizing the need to control our lives whilst also leaving room for chance.
1. Planning everything: as a judging type you don’t need to plan every and all things. But it isn’t perfectly okay either to leave everything to chance. However, the key is balance, consider being more receptive to failures, disappointments, things not always working the way you prefer or planned because let’s face it you never know what’s going to happen by chance that might disrupt your plans. Don’t be too tough on yourself, let go of the anxiety that comes with your plans failing and leave room for chance.
2. Learn to be spontaneous: it goes with not always planning everything, how you spend every hour of your time. Being rigid feels safe but yet again because it is a comfort zone, you miss our on many great experiences. You start living life a little more when you step out of your comfort zone. Moreover, some of life’s best experiences are never planned.
3. Learn to multitask: although there might be some important exceptions, there is always no need to finish working on one project before moving unto the next one. You can multitask at the same time. In other words, learn to be more flexible in how you approach life, work, and especially responsibilities or duties in general. It is okay to do a bit of everything incrementally and overtime you get more things done. Moreover, setting your mind to finish a particular task within a particular time frame in a long stretch can be counterproductive and even worse disappointing especially when you fail to meet the deadline that you have set for yourself. At the very least, remember to take a break, and come back to whatever your doing. For example, I have learnt and i find that doing one task and then taking a break to do another task rather than just focusing on finishing one task at a time is less mentally tasking and even more productive. Working for long hours on one task can can take so much mental energy or lead to stress. Besides, I doubt human beings are naturally weird to focus on doing one thing for long even though some of us are naturally better at doing that than others.
4. Always room for improvement: you don’t have to be set in your ways, be more willing to be open-minded to trying other methods to achieving or completing a particular task no matter how much or long your own method has been working for you, there is no on one rule-book to getting anything done. It is okay if your old method that you are used to fails to work, there are multiple ways methods and perhaps even better ones. Keep experimenting with the trial and error method that is how you learn better and new ways of doing things, it could be something as simple as how you cook a particular meal try doing it some other way. Life isn’t that serious and no method is ever perfect.
19/10/2019
What it’s like living with introvert(s) vs extrovert(s) - An introvert's perspective
What it’s like living with introvert(s) vs extrovert(s) - An introvert's perspective
My take as an introvert on living with introverts versus living extroverts - If your familiar with Myers Briggs or the terms introvert and extrovert you should be able to understand all I have written here or in the Youtube video above.
1. Space & boundary for introverts: Introverts almost automatically understand each other's need for space, boundary, and privacy. So there's less likeliness to meddle in each other's business, what is yours is yours, no one is taking/using what belongs to you unless your very close friends. Everyone keeps to their things or at least you know to seek permission before taking or using what doesn belong to you. Also, there's usually a mutual peace of mind that comes with knowing that you can be yourself and be by yourself at all times without feeling judged or guilty. However, there's a downside to this. Because introverts try as much as possible to respect each other's space, there is rarely ever a chance for true interaction and sometimes there's a sense of uneasiness that can arise when introverts are around each other. Talk about awkward!
2. Sharing for extroverts: In contrast, for an introvert living with an extrovert, there is less sense of boundary and privacy. An extrovert is ready to share their life with you, share your space, there is really no boundary in terms of what is yours is yours and what is mines is mines, rather what is in this house is ours to share irrespective of who it belongs to. However, i must admit that although it might be unusual or uncomfortable for introverts especially when its not a family member or close friend, it goes without saying that there is love I'm sharing!
3. Peace & quiet for introverts: Another advantage for introverts living together is knowing that you don't have to expect or jump into many unknown strangers in the house. Friends and invited guests are occasional even not rare. Hence there's always serenity and quiet in the home. Yet the downside to this is that it can be boring most times especially when introverts don't share common interests or whatsoever. You rarely ever get to truly connect with each other and each other’s friends. From my experience, introverts living together might never even cross parts for weeks if not more unless necessary or unavoidable like when sleeping or sharing the same bedroom !
4. Lively with extroverts: For an introvert living with an extrovert, get ready to meet new friends and unknown guests from time to time in the house and hear incessant friend discussions on the phone. There is rarely a boring moment. Say goodbye to perpetual quiet in the house and be ready to experience new things outside your comfort zone whether it's food, tv shows, outdoor activities etc. You are always invited to join! This may be difficult to adjust to or too much for introverts especially if they find it difficult to say no or are not used to saying no. However, this is normal, as an introvert you will just have to learn to say no at some point even though your careful not to hurt your extroverted housemate’s feeling.
In the end, i think introverts living with extroverted roommates has its perks and can be complementary. It can help bring out some qualities in you. But I wouldn't say living with an extrovert is better than living with an introvert or vice versa, you just need to be aware of the perks and loses, its up to you to decide which you prefer. Moreover, not everyone is the same and it can very well vary from person to personality etc. In my experience I find that intuitive extroverts compliment me better than sensing extroverts because we tend to share common interests and intuition yet I wouldn’t know if it were the same across the board. I will discuss more on this in an upcoming post and video, watch out!
26/10/2019
1. Space & boundary for introverts: Introverts almost automatically understand each other's need for space, boundary, and privacy. So there's less likeliness to meddle in each other's business, what is yours is yours, no one is taking/using what belongs to you unless your very close friends. Everyone keeps to their things or at least you know to seek permission before taking or using what doesn belong to you. Also, there's usually a mutual peace of mind that comes with knowing that you can be yourself and be by yourself at all times without feeling judged or guilty. However, there's a downside to this. Because introverts try as much as possible to respect each other's space, there is rarely ever a chance for true interaction and sometimes there's a sense of uneasiness that can arise when introverts are around each other. Talk about awkward!
2. Sharing for extroverts: In contrast, for an introvert living with an extrovert, there is less sense of boundary and privacy. An extrovert is ready to share their life with you, share your space, there is really no boundary in terms of what is yours is yours and what is mines is mines, rather what is in this house is ours to share irrespective of who it belongs to. However, i must admit that although it might be unusual or uncomfortable for introverts especially when its not a family member or close friend, it goes without saying that there is love I'm sharing!
3. Peace & quiet for introverts: Another advantage for introverts living together is knowing that you don't have to expect or jump into many unknown strangers in the house. Friends and invited guests are occasional even not rare. Hence there's always serenity and quiet in the home. Yet the downside to this is that it can be boring most times especially when introverts don't share common interests or whatsoever. You rarely ever get to truly connect with each other and each other’s friends. From my experience, introverts living together might never even cross parts for weeks if not more unless necessary or unavoidable like when sleeping or sharing the same bedroom !
4. Lively with extroverts: For an introvert living with an extrovert, get ready to meet new friends and unknown guests from time to time in the house and hear incessant friend discussions on the phone. There is rarely a boring moment. Say goodbye to perpetual quiet in the house and be ready to experience new things outside your comfort zone whether it's food, tv shows, outdoor activities etc. You are always invited to join! This may be difficult to adjust to or too much for introverts especially if they find it difficult to say no or are not used to saying no. However, this is normal, as an introvert you will just have to learn to say no at some point even though your careful not to hurt your extroverted housemate’s feeling.
In the end, i think introverts living with extroverted roommates has its perks and can be complementary. It can help bring out some qualities in you. But I wouldn't say living with an extrovert is better than living with an introvert or vice versa, you just need to be aware of the perks and loses, its up to you to decide which you prefer. Moreover, not everyone is the same and it can very well vary from person to personality etc. In my experience I find that intuitive extroverts compliment me better than sensing extroverts because we tend to share common interests and intuition yet I wouldn’t know if it were the same across the board. I will discuss more on this in an upcoming post and video, watch out!
26/10/2019
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