ABOUT THE SHOW

Czar Disclaimer

We’d like to take a moment to say hello and thank you kindly for viewing the first ever Smoker Movie! If you’ve attended the Smoker in previous years, you know that things look a little different this year. In an effort to keep all of our talented medical students and their families safe, the Czars have opted for a virtual Smoker as opposed to the usual live musical. Be assured, we have done our very best to preserve the spirit of the Smoker... which means this disclaimer is still very necessary. The Smoker is a time-honored University of Michigan Medical School tradition, we want to be sure you know exactly what you’re getting into.

Our medical students have been producing “The Smoker” for over a century now. The show is conceived, written, performed, directed, and produced entirely by medical students. It is one way that we say both “Thank you” and “We love you” to our educators each year. Of course, anyone who has been or has raised a teenager knows that sometimes when we say “I love you,” it may sound more like, “Ugh!! You’re embarrassing me, and I hate you!” We attempt to “smoke” our beloved faculty by making caricatures. We start with a few tiny grains of truth, but the real fun of the show is to take those little kernels of observation and blow them up into the largest, flashiest, most ridiculous displays we can imagine.

It’s also important to note that any good piece of theater needs conflict, which often means having “bad guys.” Since none of those exist at Michigan, we take a lot of liberties. Please keep in mind as you enjoy the show that what you see on stage tonight are characters whose words, actions, and motivations are not intended to reflect the real physicians whose names we use. Finally, we are excited to showcase the diverse faculty, staff and students that we have at the University of Michigan Medical School. We realize that the race, gender, ethnicity, ability, and/or sexual orientation of our individual cast members may not match that of the characters that they are portraying. While challenging, we hope that our portrayals will highlight the awesomeness of those who work here at the University.

We thank you for approaching our production with a sense of humor and willingness to laugh. Enjoy!

PLOT

Herclues (Original Plot)

After Zeus becomes the new ruler of Mount Olympus, Hades makes plans to overthrow him, but is warned by the fates that his plans could be endangered by Zeus's newborn son Hercules. Hades arranges to get rid of Hercules, who ends up being left on Earth to grow up among mortals. He is stripped of his godly appearance but retains his strength - he is seen as an outcast and is confused about where he belongs. He then learns he is the son of Gods and, in order to return to Mount Olympus, he must become a true hero by tackling a series of challenges. Can Hercules, with the help of his trusty sidekick Philoctetes, prove himself worth of living among the Gods in Mount Olympus?

Herpules (Our Version)

Dr. Hammoud has been dreaming of taking over as the host of Zoom Olympus - a prestigious group of Department Heads that make all the decisions at Michigan Medicine. And with Dr. Bradford stepping down, she believes her time has come. But she is warned by the fates that her plans could be endangered by Dr. Bradford's intended replacement, Dr. McKean! Hammound decides to sabotage McKean's interview, proving to her that she does not belong in Zoom Olympus. McKean then meets the Oracle of the VA, Dr. Kauffman, who informs her that there may be hope for her yet. All she has to do is tackle a series of challenges. Can Dr. McKean, with the help of her trusty sidekick Dr. Englesbe and mentors Dr. Sullivan and Dr. Tai, prove herself worthy of working among the Gods in Zoom Olympus?

ACT 1

Scene 1.1 Mr. Sheets’ Neighborhood

Scene 1.2a Lubrication and Discharge

Scene 1.2b Zoom Olympus 1: A New Joke

Scene 1.3a The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Interview Advice

Scene 1.3b A Horse Is a Horse, of Course of Course

Scene 1.4a I Can’t Get No… Identification

Scene 1.4b Swordfish

Scene 1.4c The Docs on the Team Go Round-Round-Round

Scene 1.4d Purgatory

Scene 1.4e Perry Pernicano’s Pig Farm

Scene 1.5 The Oracle of the VA

ACT 2

Scene 2.1a Slicing and Dicing

Scene 2.1b Remediation: Second Look

Scene 2.1c The Four Surgeons of the Apocalypse

Scene 2.1d Stool Runnings

Scene 2.2a School House Rock: Vaccination Station

Scene 2.2b Pandora’s Box

Scene 2.3 Zoom Olympus 2: Tag Days Strike Back

Scene 2.4 At Your Cervix

ACT 3

Scene 3.1 This is EMERGENCY

Scene 3.2 300 Bottles of NS on the Walls

Scene 3.3 Mission Impossible: Disposition

Scene 3.4 Zoom Olympus 3: Return of the Smokler

Scene 3.5 The Gang Wraps Up the Show and Goes to Skeeps

Wondering when your favorite medical student makes their debut? Wondering when your favorite faculty member gets smoked? Check out the cast list.

Smoker History

History of Galens Medical Society and the Galens Smoker

The Galens Medical Society started in 1914 when two high-minded third-year medical students, Huber John and Samuel Donaldson, banded together to establish an honors organization that served as a liaison between students and faculty. The first twelve members were representatives from each of the five medical fraternities--Alpha Kappa Kappa, Nu Sigma Nu, Phi Beta Pi, Phi Chi, and Phi Rho Sigma--plus two independent members. Originally, the second rule of the membership stated, “No women shall be members.” It took 57 short years for the members to realize what a great folly this was, and in 1971, women were finally allowed to lend their great skill and expertise to the organization. By the end of the 1980s, Galens membership was open to all four classes.

The organization’s most prominent role in the greater Ann Arbor community began in 1927 when then-student Wall W. Thom first suggested a charity drive to improve the lives of hospitalized children. Today, Galens Tag Days is a beloved and much-anticipated part of early December in Ann Arbor, which collects more than $70,000 for children’s charities in Washtenaw county every year.

One of the original clauses of the Galens Medical Society constitution proclaimed that “mental and social enjoyment” was to be a part of the lives of all members

and the medical community at large. In keeping with this clause, the first-recorded “All-Medic Smoker” took place in 1918 at the Michigan Union. Until 1930, the Mimes Theater was the home of the show, which was followed by extemporaneous, informal speeches by professors. The show earned its name from the unhealthy habits of its early audiences, who were keen on enjoying cigars during the show!

In 1931, the Smoker moved to the Lydia Mendelssohn Theatre. The same year, the now-infamous “Thymico-Lymphatic Constitution” was introduced. This humorous and satirical publications unfortunately made its way to the Dean of Students in the Spring of 1948, and he was not pleased: because of “risque” content, Galens was slapped with social probation and the document was dropped from the Smoker performance.

The Smoker, thankfully, survived this unfortunate incident and remained an annual collection of random skits until 1962, when third-year medical student Robert

Bartlett proposed that the Smoker be based on “The Music Man,” following a unified plot with an overarching theme. With the premiere of “The Medicine Man” and “M4 Lady” the following year, Dr. Bartlett secured his legacy as the Father of the Modern Smoker. Of course, he later went on the pioneer the Extra-Corporeal Membranous Oxygenation device as well as the incentive spirometer, but these accomplishments were just icing on the cake of history.

Since that time, all Smokers have parodied musicals and movies, tapping into pop culture to appeal to a broader audience. The 1980s saw the introduction of the title of “Czar” for the directors and producers, as well as the advent of technology that could inexpensively capture and preserve Smoker hijinks for years to come on video and DVD. Around the same time, we also began to commemorate “a tragedy unparalleled since the hiring of Irving Smokler as Assistant Dean of Student Affairs” by incorporating the saying into every show; like all great traditions, some people starting saying it not knowing what it was, and we’ll continue saying it forever just because!

Recently, we began the process of digitalizing past smokers for all to enjoy. Check out our Archives and contact us if you have memorabilia you’d like to add to our collection!

the Bronze and Golden Beeper Awards

The members of Galens, in conjunction with the Medical Center Alumni Society (MCAS), annually bestow the Bronze Beeper Awards to recognize outstanding

house officer teaching in the hospital. In addition, the Golden Beeper is awarded to two residents who go above and beyond the call of duty for teaching in the hospital. These awards will be presented at Virtual Gala by an MCAS representative.

Previous Golden Beeper Recipients Include:

2020:

2019:

2018:

2017: Brian Fallon (General Surgery), Sarah Bell (OB/GYN)

2016: Halley Crissman (OB/GYN), Kurt Sieloff (Neurology)

2015: Arielle Kanters (General Surgery), Adam Baruch (OB/GYN)

2014: Jon Snider (Neurology), Brian Gray (General Surgery), Erika Mowers (OB/GYN)

2013: Farokh Demehri (General Surgery), Ihab Halaweish (General Surgery),

Alison Kapadia (Emergency Medicine), Shiao-Pei Weathers (Neurology)

The Silver Shovel Award

J. Robert Willson, the president of the Galens Medical Society in 1937, created the Silver Shovel award as a tribute to the popularity and teaching ability of Fred

Jenner Hodges, then Chair of the Department of Radiology and Galens Prefect. Willson went to Schlenker Hardware Store and purchased a scoop shovel of the type used by farmers to clean their stalls and had it silver plated.

The first Silver Shovel Award was presented as a surprise, in exactly the same way that it will be presented this year, at the conclusion of the second Smoker

performance. In 1937, Dr. Hodges knelt and was dubbed “Knight of the Shovel,” after which he made some very choice and appropriate comments. Dr. Willson

recalled that although the Shovel was presented in jest, the award was meant to be a sincere token of affection and gratitude by the medical students. Dr. Willson later returned to Ann Arbor to become chair of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology and received the Silver Shovel himself in 1976.

In 1938, Dr. Hodges surprised Dr. Reed Nesbit by asking him to come to the stage following the Smoker. Dr. Nesbit, then Chief of Urology, knelt and was dubbed

the second “Knight of the Shovel.” Thus, the tradition of passing the shovel from one knight to the next began 77 years ago and continues tonight. In each case, the recipient is chosen by the members of Galens and is never told about the selection in advance (surprise is part of the tradition). The Silver Shovel continues to be a highly regarded honor but is always bestowed with a small wink of humor from the previous recipient.

As the years have passed, many Galens members have gone on to join the University of Michigan faculty, and some in turn have received the Silver Shovel.

In addition to Willson, they include Dr. Robert Bartlett, Dr. John Gosling, and Dr. Richard Kraft. Many of the Silver Shovel recipients have also achieved highest honors in their specialty by being elected president of their national organization. Among this list includes: H. Towsley (American Academy of Pediatrics) and A. Furstenberg (American Academy of Otolaryngology).

Last year, Dr. Jonathan Finks presented the shovel to Dr. David Marzano. This year, Dr. Marzano will proudly appoint a new knight at the Virtual Gala.

Much appreciation to Dr. Richard Judge for originally contributing to this history.