Hannah Baxter - Prison Made of Noise

A Prison Made of Noise

When I walk in the restaurant it hits me like a wall,

The sound of people talking, and I can hear it all.

I want to run away, but I take a deep breath and walk inside, door closing behind me.

Obligation is my lock but in my hand I hold the key.

The noise descends from all around, it comes from every side.

I want to yell, to scream and shout, or find some place to hide.

No, I can't, I tell myself, I'll keep calm while I can.

But when it is too much for me at least I have a plan.

I breathe and try to listen to my family while they talk.

Finally I can take no more, and I stop staring at the clock.

I take out my book for distraction is my key.

Others may think this rude, but my family won't think less of me.

They know of my prison with its walls made of sound.

Obligation is a rope to me, it feels as if I'm bound.

But one thing can calm me and help me slip away.

Distraction is my safety and my books keep noise at bay.

This is the first of my writing samples. As a part of my ADHD, I have a noise sensitivity issue. Initially, I couldn't even be in a room with 30 other people talking without getting so tired that reality felt like a dream. As I got older, my reactions became less severe, but I am still miserable. In order to cope with the noise, I usually either find another activity that engages another activity that uses another sense and absorbs all of my attention or put in headphones and put on another source of sound loud enough to cover up the noise. This leads to a lot of reading and video watching in crowded areas. My family and friends know about this quirk of mind, and are very understanding when I pull out a book or my phone in the middle of a conversation when we are in a resteraunt during the dinner rush. This poem is an attempt to express what I experience whenever my noise sensitivity is triggered.

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