TRANSFORMATION AND ACCEPTANCE

Link to order the novel-:      Transformation and Acceptance   

SYNOPSIS

Josh, a gay HIV-positive man needs a kidney transplant from his homophobic brother Ben. But it turns out that Ben's son is also match for the kidney transplant. Not only does the novel lead up to who will be the donor but a revelation by the son, will put into question acceptance and transformation by both Josh and Ben.

EXCERPT FROM TRANSFORMATION AND ACCEPTANCE-WRITTEN BY GORDON BLITZ: 

Prologue

Josh dreaded the three times a week, four hour sessions. His attempts at reading or listening to audiobooks failed him because his concentration level was zero. The fatigue side-effect felt like all the energy had been sucked out of his body. At least it gave him four days to work at the Hair Salon. Still, he kept his situation secret. He did not want to announce to the world that he had kidney disease and needed dialysis three times a week. Thank goodness he had a husband; otherwise, he would be unable to have home dialysis. A miracle that he had someone to take care of him. Was it fate or destiny? Had Josh stopped being an atheist and found God at fifty something? How else to explain that his marriage took place in the LGBTQ synagogue? If he did not have a husband, might he have tried suicide? 

When he looked in the mirror, Josh did not recognize himself. The skin discoloration from dialysis had caused his already tan-looking skin to go darker. And his normally vibrant skin looked as parched as his dry mouth, another side effect. And then there was his burning leg syndrome that felt like he was a firewalker. He tried to imagine having a kidney transplant where all these ramifications would disappear. He even thought his moles had stopped growing but dialysis found a way to accentuate them.

He kept dreaming about the transplant waiting list. It reminded him of the pop charts and how a song would slowly move up to number one, except here the names were not based on popularity. And with kidneys, money did not matter either. But if Josh believed in conspiracy theories, maybe money could push you up the list. If he never got to the top ten and had to stay on dialysis forever, suicide might become a very real option.

Six months ago, his doctor had told him, “Usually people can stay on dialysis for years without needing a transplant, but in your case, with a weakened immune system, you’re at risk for heart disease. You’re an excellent candidate for a transplant though. Excellent blood work. Is there anyone in your family who would donate one of their kidneys? That’s the best-case scenario so your body doesn’t reject it. It’s relatively risk-free on their part. Plus, surviving on one healthy kidney has relatively no impact on their health or life expectancy.”

But all this was before the recent episode where his liver joined forces with his kidneys to bail out on him. This meant that dialysis was not working, and a transplant was the only option for survival.

Dr. Aaron Cohen had been his physician for eighteen years, and Josh still had a crush on him. Dr. Cohen must have sensed the puppy love because he insisted Josh call him Dr. Cohen as if using a formal name would break the spell.

And now Josh could not believe that Clint and Ben were fighting over who was going to donate their kidney. Especially his brother, Ben, ultra-right-wing conservative and homophobic. And would Ben even allow his child, Clint, to give Josh a kidney to replace his dying organ? Talk about a cliffhanger. Initially, Josh had not wanted anyone in his family to donate. Josh had researched the potential downfall of being a donor. Rarely had the surgery caused blood clots or pneumonia. But not only could there be a danger of high blood pressure, but the donor could feel guilty if the kidney they donated was not working well. He did not want to burden his family with those possible outcomes.

And then at one point, they each separately told Josh,

“I want to do this. It should be me, not Ben.”

“I won’t let Clint do it. It’s my responsibility. This is the end of the discussion.”

According to Josh’s doctor, both were a good match and both had signed the release papers.

On the day of the surgery, Josh had no clue who was giving him their kidney. The day before the surgery, when Clint and Ben visited Josh, he still heard them bickering before they entered his hospital room. They kissed Josh and wished him good luck and when they left, Josh faintly heard both of them say, “I’m doing this.”

           When Josh was wheeled into surgery the following morning, the nurse told him, “The person donating your kidney is in the adjacent room. The surgeries are taking place one after the other.

         When Josh tried to lift his head to see who had won the fight, the anesthesia had already started working. His last thoughts were, When I wake up, I will no longer feel like my kidney is defining me. That part of me that is failing will be fixed. I’ll be whole. All because Clint or Ben came through for me. I wish that twenty years ago, I could have donated a part of me so that Ed wouldn’t die. Josh drifted off remembering his trip to Jacumba with Ed.