GBH Blog

March 3, 2021

The time has come for this chapter of my project to come to a close and a new one to open (that doesn’t mean I will stop raising funds or awareness for miscarriage and infant loss!!) so I decided to write a blog post every day for the next week to share what I have learned about the miscarriage and infant loss community over the past two years and create goals for Goodbye Before Hello moving forward. Despite the fact that 1 in 4 women are affected by miscarriage and infant loss in their lifetime, there is still a great proportion of our neighbors, friends, and family members that lack the knowledge to be able to stand with this cause. While I am actively seeking to change that, I feel like I have to be fully transparent about my personal experience in advocacy first. I want to lead by example and show you, and anyone else, that you can help raise awareness for miscarriage and infant loss too.

And with that, today’s post is about speaking up on taboo topics.

For those of you that have been following Goodbye Before Hello since the beginning, you already know that my BIGGEST struggle with raising awareness about miscarriage and infant loss was overcoming the fear of talking about it! In the beginning, every time someone asked me what my project was about, I was as vague as possible because I was scared that being upfront and confident in my support for this topic would turn people away from supporting me.

But I could not have been more wrong.

Over the past two years, I have been shocked on numerous occasions by the responses that I received from friends, strangers, and distant acquaintances alike:

Exclamations that family members, or themselves, have been through the experience of losing a child and want to support Goodbye Before Hello.

Phrases like, “it’s amazing that a girl as young as you cares so much about this topic”.

And from those experiences, I’ve found that taboo topics are a societal myth. Virtually no one is unwilling to talk about miscarriage and infant loss, and that has only given my voice and my message more power. I have learned that to make progress, and to make a difference, you have to look beyond the discomfort that you may (or may not!) have to face. You have to stand your ground and have confidence in the fact that you are working for the greater good of so many people in our communities.

And so the question comes; how do I work against the “taboo” of miscarriage and infant loss within Goodbye Before Hello?

To answer that, I do suppose I have to start with the hashtag that I created over a year ago, #talkforourbabies. This was the first step that I took in urging people to speak up with their own experiences if they are comfortable, or simply to say that they stand with the communities who are affected by this topic. For me, this was the best possible introduction to advocacy because typing a message is much easier than speaking it, with the drawback being that the message isn’t very strong on its own.

With that in mind, I also make an effort to speak to as many people as I can when I am representing my project to be an example to others that the words “miscarriage”, “stillbirth”, “IVF”, and so many more are not unspeakable. This is likely the most important thing that I, and anyone else, can do as an advocate for miscarriage and infant loss as it demonstrates firsthand the normalization of talking about the loss of a baby as individuals build a support system between friends, family, and even strangers.

Finally, I have challenged myself to create a mix of quantitative and qualitative goals for Goodbye Before Hello moving forward with my first goal being:

March 4, 2021

If you are reading this, you probably saw me announce on Instagram or Facebook that I had uploaded a new blog post. In fact, if you know about Goodbye Before Hello, you probably found it on social media.

…Which brings me to today’s topic, building (and keeping up with) a social media platform.

In today’s world, nearly everyone gathers their information from social media so it’s almost mandatory that an organization like Goodbye Before Hello would need to make a regular social media appearance in order to be recognized by the community. So for over two years, I have spent countless hours creating content with educational statistics, updates on Goodbye Before Hello’s progress and events, and current events pertaining to infant loss and miscarriage.

Here’s a brief list of what I’ve learned:

All in all, Goodbye Before Hello’s presence on social media has been the center of this project’s support and will only continue to be, perhaps even more so as my virtual audience grows.

So what will Goodbye Before Hello do?

March 5, 2021

Let’s talk numbers!

Fundraising is hard work and a lot more complicated than you might think, especially during a global pandemic, so today’s post is about fundraising and monetary goals.

So let’s set the scene; in July of 2019 I set the goal of raising $12,000 for the bereavement programs at Ascension Sacred Heart Hospital and as of today, March 5, 2021, I have raised $2,676, 22.3% of my goal. This is an incredible amount and I am so grateful that I have been able to raise so much for a cause that I care so deeply about but I don’t want to stop here.

I have held countless hours of fundraisers (and even an auction!) with the help of amazing groups and individuals in Pensacola. But it never feels like enough to reach my goal. And that’s where I have to harken back to yesterday’s post in that having a platform is EVERYTHING. The more people that hear my voice, the more I will be able to do and raise.

That being said, fundraising is centered around my engagement with my supporters and I know that I can improve in creating more opportunities for people in the Pensacola area to support the bereavement programs at Ascension Sacred Heart Hospital.

So while this post is very brief the message is perhaps the most strong.

March 6, 2021

I’ve touched on this a few times already but now is the perfect opportunity to really bring focus to communication.

Especially for start-up organizations like Goodbye Before Hello, fundraising and advocacy groups rely very heavily on partnerships and joint events with outside businesses and organizations. Businesses are a great help when it comes to finding facilities and locations to use when fundraising but that can’t happen without consistent, and clear, communication.

Have you ever heard of an elevator speech?

That’s exactly the kind of communication I’m talking about. Brief. Direct. And most importantly, clear. As the founder of Goodbye Before Hello, I’ve given many “elevator speeches” and it’s true that they can be so very effective.

That being said, however, there are other ways that Goodbye Before Hello has established communication with local businesses and philanthropists. One of these is through business letters, or formal letters that ask for anything from donations to a follow on Instagram.

And these have been effective too!

So what can Goodbye Before Hello do to improve?

Well, elevator speeches and business letters lack one critical component; they often aren’t heard or seen by business owners or managers but by customer service staff. Not to say that this communication isn’t valuable (because it absolutely is!) but that there has to be a better way to contact people in higher positions.

So that’s where this question comes in; “Can I speak to the manager?”

And yes, I know that this question sounds incredibly terrifying to ask but often, as I’ve found, that is the single most effective way to establish meaningful communication with local business owners and community leaders.

And with that in mind comes the question, “Where will Goodbye Before Hello go from here?”

March 7, 2021

Let’s give Goodbye Before Hello a little context. I founded this organization nearly two years ago at sixteen years old and have worked in advocacy on the topic of miscarriage and infant loss awareness up until this point. I do have firsthand experience with the effects that the loss of an infant can have on a family but that will never overcome the fact that I have not experienced this pain as a mother.

And that means that one of the biggest parts of building Goodbye Before Hello has been listening.

It’s incredible how much we learn and how much we can begin to empathize rather than sympathize just by listening to the stories and experiences of others. And it is possibly the most difficult task to carry out. As an advocate, it can be incredibly easy to focus on the available statistics and public stories, but more often than not, as I’ve found, so much of the story goes untold, and this can lead to holes in my knowledge and the knowledge of others.

Sometimes, though, you can listen without even knowing it. Brief remarks of encouragement, neighbors, and acquaintances nodding their heads in a shared understanding. And I do think that at the heart of it, that’s what advocacy is all about. Sharing and listening. Understanding and speaking. Sharing again and listening some more. That’s how we learn about each other and about the communities that surround us.