Prayers and Poems

May you see God's light on the path ahead

When the road you walk is dark.

May you always hear,

Even in your hour of sorrow,

The gentle singing of the lark.

When times are hard may hardness

Never turn your heart to stone,

May you always remember

when the shadows fall,

You do not walk alone.

- Author Unknown

Bless those who mourn, eternal God,

with the comfort of your love

that they may face each new day with hope

and the certainty that nothing can destroy

the good that has been given.

May their memories become joyful,

their days enriched with friendship,

and their lives encircled by your love.

- Vienna Cobb Anderson

May the sweet light of change shine in the darkness,

May the first breath of each morning begin life again,

May the memories unfold as prayers for life,

May the love continue to fill the silence.

Disoriented madness pounced

Like a ravenous, feral cat.

Yesterday’s wisdom vanished

And I can scarcely remember my name

The time of day

Or that my loved one is dead.

Lead me gently, friend

Help me make decisions

That have never come my way.

Listen to my repetitive babble

And know my sanity is still buried deep within.

Let me thank you

Again and again,

Scream in your presence

Cry until my eyes dry heave.

Let me be

And simply accept me,

Care for me.

Let me grieve in my own way

For this is the only way I know.

When the time seems right,

Gently suggest ways

Of remembering and honoring

Sorting and sifting

That I might try.

Hold my hand and listen to my fear

Stay with me when relatives depart

And the monsters of aloneness

Ring the doorbell

A hundred suitcases in their hands.

"I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,

spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts

for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.

I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck

of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,

hull and spar as she was when she left my side.

And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me – not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"

there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices

ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

And that is dying..."

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there; I did not die.

The reality is that you will grieve forever.

You will not "get over" the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it.

You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.

You will be whole again but you will never be the same.

Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.

Commentary

While not technically a poem, this quote is from Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross who was a psychiatrist, humanitarian and hospice pioneer. This particular quote provided comfort to Michela from The Polished Widow after her husband Nick died in 2011 from pancreatic cancer.

She told us: “It made me feel a little more normal for all I was going through. That the process of becoming a young widow had changed me, and I was ok with that, something I’ve spoken about in my blog.

“I was a different person now, one who knew what it was like to have a loss in my life but also the need to keep living and not be swallowed up by it. I’m proud of the woman I’ve become since.

“But grief is forever, even through all my life changes since, including remarrying and having another child, it has just become part of me, something that mostly lays dormant but can also come to the surface and that’s ok. It’s a part of life and losing my husband is something I will never forget.”

Death is nothing at all.

It does not count.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.

I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.

Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.

Put no difference into your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.

Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same as it ever was.

There is absolute and unbroken continuity.

What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.

All is well.

Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.

One brief moment and all will be as it was before.

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again.

Commentary

Henry Scott Holland was Regius Professor of Divinity at the University of Oxford as well as a Canon of Christ Church in Oxford before his death in 1918. He is well known for his writing and his poem, ‘Death is Nothing At All’, was of comfort for blogger Hannah from Hannah’s Happy Hour.

When Hannah lost her mum to cancer in 2017, she found solace in Holland’s work: “For me, the poem makes me feel closer to my mum. I think about her every day and the poem makes me feel like it is a positive step in my grief process to share the memories we had together, particularly in the line ‘let my name be ever the household word that it always was’.

“It can sometimes be really hard to open up to people about those we have lost and you can feel like a burden at times, but from experience, I have found it is so important to talk. The line ‘Why should I be out of mind, because I am out of sight? I am, but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner’ is one that brings great comfort to me. It reminds me that just because my mum has passed away and isn’t physically by my side, she will forever be in my heart.”