Mulla Nasrudin

The Crowded Home

Nasrudin was talking to his neighbor one day, and the neighbor lamented, "I'm really having trouble fitting my entire family in our small house. It's me, my wife, my three kids, and my mother-in-law-all sharing the same cottage. Mulla Nasrudin, you are a wise man. Do you have any advice for me?"

"Yes," replied Nasrudin. "Do you have any chickens in your yard?

"I have ten," the man replied.

"Put them in the house."

"But Mulla. Our house is already cramped as it is."

"Just try it."

The man followed Nasrudin's advice and paid him another visit the next day.

"Mulla," he said, "things are even worse now. With the chickens in the house, there's even less space for my family."

"Take that donkey of yours," replied Nasrudin, "and bring it in the house."

The man once again objected at first, but was eventually convinced by Nasrudin to go through with the plan.

The following day, the man approached Nasrudin and looked more distressed than ever. "Now my home is even more crowded! Between my family, the chickens, and that donkey of mine, there is barely any room to move."

"Well then," said Nasrudin, "do you have any other animals in your yard?"

"Yes. We have a goat."

"OK. Take the goat in your house too."

The man once again seemed anything but eager to follow Nasrudin's advice, but was eventually convinced to to put yet another animal in the house.

The next day, the man told Nasrudin, "My family is really upset. Everyone is at my throat complaining about the lack of space. Your plan is making us miserable."

"OK," Nasrudin replied. "Now take all of the animals back outside."

The man did as he was told--and the next day he paid a visit to Nasrudin. "Mulla--your plan has worked like a charm. With all those animals out, my home has more than enough space for everyone in my family!"

The Stranger's Request

One day, Nasrudin was repairing his roof, and was interrupted by a stranger knocking on his door.

"What do you want?" Nasrudin shouted down to him from the roof.

"Come down so I can tell you," the stranger replied.

Nasrudin angrily climbed down the ladder.

"Well!" Nasrudin snapped at the stranger. "What's so important?"

"Can you spare some money for this poor old man?"

Nasrudin started climbing up the ladder. He turned to the old man and, "Follow me up to the roof."

The latter did, and when they both reached the roof, Nasrudin turned to him again and said, "No, you can't have any money. Now get off my roof!"

A Bird Saved My Life

Nasrudin was walking through the desert, and spotted a foreign holy man. Nasrudin introduced himself, and the holy man said, "I am a mystic devoted to the appreciation of all life forms--especially birds."

"Oh, wonderful," Nasrudin replied. "I am a Mulla, and I would like to stay with you for a while so we can share teachings. And guess what? A bird saved my life once!"

Delighted to hear this, the mystic agreed to share company with Nasrudin. They discussed a variety of topics--and although the mystic frequently asked to hear about how a bird saved Nasrudin's life, Nasrudin did not provide any details. The continued for days, until finally, after hearing the mystic plead over and over, the Mulla finally agreed to tell his story. "OK, here is how the bird saved my life," Nasrudin began while the mystic intently listened. "One day five years ago, I had not eaten for a long time and I was about to starve to death. Then I caught a bird and ate it."

My Foot Hurts

An illiterate man asked Nasrudin to write a letter for him.

Nasrudin refused, saying, "Unfortunately, I can't do it right now. My foot hurts too much."

"Your foot? What does that have to do with writing a letter?"

"Well," explained Nasrudin, "since I'm the only person who can read my handwriting, I have to go wherever the letter goes so that I can read it to the recipient."

What's the Word For Baby Cow?

Nasrudin was visiting another town, and a man asked him, "What's the word for 'baby cow' in your village?"

Nasrudin couldn't remember the word, so he replied, "Where I'm from, we don't call a baby cow anything. We just wait until it grows up, and then we call it a cow."

Tool Repairman

Nasrudin took his tools to a repair shop one day. When he went to pick them up the following day, the repairman said, "Unfortunately, they were stolen."

The next day he told his friend about this, and the friend said, "I'll bet the repairman stole your tools. Go back there and demand that he return them."

"I can't do that. I'm avoiding him."

"Why?"

"Because I still owe him money for my tool repairs!"

Nasrudin's Hurried Prayer

Nasrudin was in a rush one day, and quickly went to the Mosque for an evening prayer session. The religious leader, observing this, angrily said, "This is not right--you offering such hurried prayers. Start over."

Nasrudin complied, and when he finished, the religious leader asked him, "Don't you think that God appreciated this second round of prayers more than the hurried ones you did?"

"Not really," was the reply. "Although the first ones were hurried, they were done for God. As for thesecond prayers, although they were not rushed at all, they were done for you."

Nasrudin Almost Falls into a Lake

One day, Nasrudin slipped and nearly fell into a lake, but was caught by a friend walking next to him.

From then on, every time Nasrudin encountered the friend, the latter was sure to bring up the incident and make a big deal about it.

After months passed and Nasrudin could take no more of this, he led the friend to the same lake, and, with clothes and shoes still on, deliberately jumped right into the water! As he lay in the water, he remarked to the friend, "Now I'm as wet as I would have been if you hadn't saved me that day--so for goodness sake, please stop reminding me about it!"

A Good Time to Eat

Man: "Nasrudin, when is a good time to eat?"

Nasrudin: "Well, for the rich, any time, and for the poor, any time they find food."

The Donkey Seller

Nasrudin brought his donkey to sell at the bazaar.

The donkey, however, would not cooperate, and bit every single person who tried to inspect it.

A nearby seller noticed all of this, and said, "Do you really expect to sell a donkey that behaves like that?"

"Not really," Nasrudin replied. "I just brought him here so other people would experience what I have to put up with every day!"

Your Cat is Dead

Nasrudin had a cousin who went to live far away, and left some of his possessions with Nasrudin.

One day, the cousin's cat died, and Nasrudin sent him a message that bluntly said: "Your cat is dead."

The cousin, very upset, sent a message back that said, "Where I live, we give people bad news more tactfully. Instead of just telling me flat out that my cat was dead, you should have let me know me little by little. You should have started off by saying, first told me, 'Your cat is acting strange,' then later said, 'your cat is jumping all over the place,' then still later told me, 'Your cat is missing,' and then finally broken the news and said, 'Your cat is dead.'"

A month later, Nasrudin's cousin received a new letter from Nasrudin, which said: "Your mother is acting strange."

Nasrudin Dies

Nasrudin was very old and lying on his bed, about to die at any moment. He said to his wife, "Why are you dressed in black and looking so sorrowful? Go put on your finest clothes, fix up your hair, and smile!"

"Nasrudin," she tearfully responded, "how can you ask me to do such a thing? You are ill, and I am dressed like this out of respect for you."

"Yes," Nasrudin said, "and that's why I made my request. The Angel of Death will be here soon, and if he sees you all dressed up and beautiful, maybe he'll leave me and take you instead."

And after giving a little laugh, Nasrudin died.