Poetry
Everyday Needs Motivation Originals
Everyday Needs Motivation Originals
Two months sounds like an eternity
Until it flashes by at the speed of light
And makes you question
Did that all really just happen?
Or am I really dreaming?
Am I going to wake up
From this nightmare
That is now my new reality.
Will it ever get easier?
Lord I hope so.
Will that be any time soon?
Probably not.
I still tear up at the smallest things
And dream that you'll pull back in the driveway,
Walk through the front door
With a smile like nothing ever happened.
And then reality hits.
It's just me alone in the dark
Surrounded by my thoughts
And inundated of all the memories
Of what are now the good old days.
The sun will rise again
And the world keeps spinning
But I wish it would slow down for a moment
To establish my bearings moving forward.
If I said I was okay,
I would be lying.
Life hasn't been easy.
And there's definitely been days
Where I act like it's any other day
But in reality I feel empty
Yearning to find a piece of the puzzle
That's always been there
But cannot be replaced.
I wish I had a better answer
To anyone asking if there was something they could do.
But I don't.
I'm still trying to find myself again.
And slowly pull myself out of this dark cave.
One month can go from feeling like years
To thinking it was just yesterday
When you thought everything was going to be okay
And the ride was taking a better turn.
Until it all came crashing down.
A building that's been a pillar of everything
In your life being demolished
One brick at a time.
Only for the flood gates to open
When you least expect it.
Wishing there there was a way to turn back time
And rewrite the ending to this chapter.
There are still remnants of what was,
Scattered across the counter
A time capsule
Of better days passed by.
My heart feels like an hourglass.
So full from the compassion all around
Yet so empty
From trying to patch this gaping void.
Life will go on
But there will always be
A part of me
That yearns for what could have been.
Sitting alone with my thoughts
Alone in a chair I wish not to be in.
I've known how this story was going to end.
The writing was on the wall
Like ancient prophecies of yesteryear
Chiseled in stone in front of me.
The only thing left to know
Is when the clock strike for a final time
Before the pendulum of life freezes
And the world stops and places
The final punctuation on the last page
Of a story decades in the making.
You can know how the story will end
But not how you'll feel
Until the gravity of all it rushes in
Like a bullet train behind schedule.
Feel whatever arises.
Sadness. Regret. Grief.
It's all present
In the footnotes of this story.
But the past is already written
And will always be remembered
For the way it made me feel at ease
During all the good times that once were.
The sun will still rise in the morning
With plenty of life to be lived.
Pull out a fresh pen to continue writing
The next chapter to honor the last.
If a tree has fallen in a forest,
Does it make a sound?
Does life continue on like nothing happened
Or is this moment in time finite?
All the years of hiding
The emotional baggage amidst
Trees of life around me
Begin to fall to make room for something new.
Letting go of an old reality
After knowing what once was
And not having a say in how it ends
Is a tough pill to swallow.
Not every story has a perfect ending
Where the hero saves the day
As the sun slowly sets
On what was a perfect day.
Tears begin to form in my eyes
Late at night as I try to sleep.
Not sure if it's due to bubbling anxiety
Or yearning for belonging?
Everything overflows all at once
Never a clear warning
But can definitely sense that
Steady tears are imminent.
Just when everything is under control;
Lightning strikes twice
To open the flood gates
And let it all rush out.
It will never be what it once was
That is just a fact of life
But there is always a noise to be heard
Just where you least expect it.
Does the silence ever subdue,
or do I need to create something new?
Put on a fake smile
To not feel alone for a while?
To try and try once more;
Will I ever find the sense of belonging I yearn for?
These are age old questions I must ask
To keep myself sane and on task.
Find a way to break up the mundane
Without causing too much pain
In whatever events happen in the aftermath
From embarking on a journey down a new path.
Do you believe in fate?
The best things in life come to those who wait.
Some answers to ease the mind are on the way
As new questions arise every single day.
Sometimes its the little things
In life that brings tears to my eyes.
You build a routine around events
Dinner at 7.
Your favorite show on at 8.
Every week for years
Your Friday nights become a safe place
To let your guard down
And forget about the outside troubles
Banging on your door.
To be temporarily transported to a world
Where you don't know a single soul
But everyone still feels like family.
With a story well told one last time
Can bring tears to my eyes
Not because its over,
But just glad we were along for the ride.
When was the last time
You truly felt at peace?
And you felt most alive
For the first time in ages.
When the whole world around you
Stops spinning
And your breath steadies
For just a moment to take it all in.
A small smile arises on your face
As all the pain fades away
Like nothing else matters
For one split moment in time.
Never understand why I get so emotional
Over the small things in life,
Like a fading sunset after a long day.
And all the simple beauty around me.
All good things must come to an end
All the stress of life floods into view
As the sun sets it makes me wonder if I need a hug,
Or I am just at peace, for now.
There is no journey
Without the first step.
There is no story
Without the first line.
Will it ever be perfect?
One can always try
To something that others
Once deemed to be unrealistic.
But what if it all works out?
What if the wheels start to roll
And build momentum
Towards achieving your wildest dream?
There's only one way to find out...
How do you slow down time?
Calm a racing heart
And ease the mind filling up
With random thoughts throughout the day.
Like an empty pool
During a hurricane;
Overflowing with no clear sign
Of slowing down or emptying out.
I wish I had more to say
But I can't fully process
The way that I've felt
For the longest time.
Feeling so alive for a moment
Until that rollercoaster high of emotions
Passes over the crest of the hill
And plummets back down to solid ground.
There was no earthquake;
no total disaster
Life just gets windy
And sometimes you have to brave the storm
Until you can wake up the next morning
To see the sun rise once again.
Lighting everything the eye can see
Full of new life and possibility.
Trying to find the right words to say
As I sit here and watch snow melt away.
In this moment my only fear
Is that warmer days are no where near.
Just when you start to dream of the beach
And the long dark days of winter are gone,
Nature has another lesson to teach
And it's written all over the lawn.
I like to see the good in people.
Even if that means
Setting myself up to fail
With no safety net
To catch me when things go awry.
Always seem to second guess
Every action and reaction
As life flies by in the blink of an eye.
My only hope
Is that I don't grow old alone
And live a life without regret.
Full of stories you'd have to be there
To fully believe actually happened.
Amidst dreary days full of rain,
Be ready for when the sun shines bright
To see the good in people once again
And to write the next chapter of this story.
Was it ever meant to be?
Or was it the highlight reel
Of everything I thought
It could turn out to be.
Everything felt like bliss in the moment
Without a single care in the world
The rest of the world blurred and
Created a focused and clear memory.
I remember all of those days
Like they just happened yesterday
From the full weather report
To the exact moment I thought there was something there.
And then it all faded away
Like rain on a window pane.
Still clear to see the outside world
Only with streaks to remember what once was.
Time has a way
Of bringing up old wounds
That were once buried in the bottom of box
On the shelf in the basement of my mind.
Opening it all up again
Beckons a tsunami of emotions to shore.
Did I truly ever have a shot?
Is it even worth trying anymore?
As I fumble through the box in front of me
And find an old highlight reel of memories
All the good times that made me smile
And some days that I wish to forget.
I wish I could tell myself
That everything will be okay
Give the version of myself a hug
And help pick up everything that fell from that box.
All that's left now
Are photos to reminisce on
And plenty of stories to tell,
With some better left unsaid.
Just find a good place to sit
With a nice view perhaps
Watch the clouds roll by
And wonder if it was really ever meant to be.
Was it ever meant to be?
Or was it the highlight reel
Of everything I thought
It could turn out to be.
There were signs along the way
Saying thanks for visiting
As you leave the city limits
For what is now the last time.
Time has a way
Of bringing up old wounds
That were once buried in the bottom of box
On the shelf in the basement of my mind.
Opening it all up again
Has a tsunami of emotions
As I fumble through the box in front of me
And find an old highlight reel of memories
From all those years ago:
All the good times that make me smile
And some days that I wish to forget.
Really makes you wonder if it was ever meant to be.
Got taken back recently
To a time years ago
Without a care in the world
And a heart full of love
Listening to songs
That evoke a sense of nostalgia
And drops me right back in a moment
Of pure and absolute bliss.
It honestly brings a tear to my eye
Reminiscing on a feeling
That the only way to describe it
As only fleeting;
Hearing lyrics that heal your inner child
After years of wondering
If I would ever see myself in the mirror again
And recognize the person I see.
What I would do
To jump through the mirror
And give that younger version of myself
The biggest hug.
Sometimes my soul yearns
To brought back to those days
Where just for that one moment
My heart was full with a smile to match.
But it is in this moment
With my favorite music
Drowning out the noise of the world
That I realize
It's okay to feel it all
And let it out pour out.
To make room for the next chapter
In a story that is still being written.
I wish I had more to say.
But I can't fully process
The way that I've felt
For the longest time.
Feeling so alive for a moment
Until that rollercoaster high of emotions
Passes over the crest of the hill
And plummets back down to solid ground.
There was no earthquake;
no total disaster
Life just gets windy
And sometimes you have to brave the storm
To see the sun rise once again.
Days are getting longer
And flowers are starting to bloom
The stars shine ever so bright
To relieve this sense of gloom.
Better days are ahead
In this life filled with many small moments
That make the bad days
Have a sense of true meaning once again.
I am my own person.
Unique and singular
With all of my own faults
and various imperfections.
If only we could look beyond
The superficial wall of mistakes
And find common ground
That bounds a deeper connection
Than any we ever thought
Were ever imaginable
before we miraculously cross paths
when we least expect it.
Walls are built to last
And one sledge hammer of commonality
Won't break down years of misconceptions
And ages of prejudice.
But it's worth starting somewhere
And saying hello to that friend
You just haven't met yet
Is a good place to start.
The tides keep crashing
Against the shore of
This pebble of an island
That I can't escape.
No life boat in site
Only the supplies around you
To put together a plan
And make it until tomorrow.
Either stay stranded and lost
Alone on an island
Or find a solution to
Return to the people you love.
Keep your eyes on the goal
And keep away from all the noise
Until the day comes
When it is time to set sail.
Set sail; away
From everything that once
Haunted you for days on end
Because it never worked out.
Well today is a new day.
Yesterday is in the past
And its story is etched
In the stone beneath your feet.
Your next chapter is still unnamed
As you propel yourself
Towards an unwritten tomorrow
As the sun rises once again.
Through all the noise
And amidst all the chaos
I still find comfort
In what once brought me joy.
Throw on that old baggy sweatshirt
And get all wrapped up
In that blanket you've had
Since you were kid.
Take a seat on your couch
And throw on the same cartoon
You were practically raised on
Back in the day.
Joy comes in many forms
I hope it finds you
Amidst all the chaos
And through all the noise.
When will this feeling ever stop?
My mind trying to process
all of the scenarios of what could be
and how in it reality
there was no chance of it working out.
Am I insane?
For wanting something more
than what I thought was ever possible?
than what I am deserving of?
One day it will all come together
and I will find that someone
to share forever with
but until then...
I fully embrace
being my own best friend
and blazing my own trail
until our unknown paths come together.
Have you ever returned to a place
That made a lasting impact on your childhood?
A place that brings up immense nostalgia
And sense of childhood bliss
That only comes in childhood
Without another care in world
Beyond the joy of the present moment
And the time spent together.
Sometimes life works in mysterious ways.
Just so happened to be in the area
Of an old ice cream shop
I used to visit as a kid.
Now, I hadn't been there in 10 years or so
But it hadn't changed a bit
In the best way possible
It was just how I remembered it.
All the same chairs
All the same decorations
Teleporting back to a time
Where I felt at peace.
Not concerned with outside perception
And ongoing internal struggle
Of if I was good enough
In my own skin.
Now I sit alone at a table
Enjoying a cup of cherry vanilla
With a smile and sense of joy
That I can't fully describe.
Makes me tear up
Thinking about all the memories
All the moments shared with people I love
That I will never get back.
It's only when I get back to my car
That the feelings came raining down
Like the floodgates opened up
As I sat in the driver's seat of the car.
All the good.
All the bad.
All coming out for the first time in ages
After being locked in the back of my mind for years.
Just thankful for the moment
To relish in what once
Even if it was just for a few minutes
To give a figurative hug to my younger self
And let him know that it will be alright.
I feel as though there is a cocoon around my heart
Keeping my feelings locked in a vault
That hasn't been opened in what feels like forever
But yearning to see the light one day.
Will I be loved?
The answer remains tucked away in that vault
With the key hidden and
Yet to be found.
Going through an area without much service
On a long and winding road trip
The road lined with evergreens and streams galore
For what seems like hundreds of miles.
Trying to find a radio station that comes through clearly
For more than just a fleeting moment.
Avoiding static at all costs
Just for a moment of peace and bliss.
Trunk filled to the roof will supplies
To make it through to the next day
Without having to trek back into town
For something long forgotten at home.
Only forgot what it feels like to be out on the road
With the wind rushing by my head
As I keep rolling down the highway
Wondering where the hell I'll stop next.
Letting all the intrusive thoughts in my head
Seep into every nook and cranny of cranny of my mind
Like syrup atop a stack of waffles
At the local roadside diner along the way.
Sometimes journeys have an unknown destination
Trying to find your heart a home
Feels like trying to together the last several hundred pieces
Of a complex puzzle that took forever to assemble
Through the windshield covered with streaks
from wiping away the onslaught of rain
that poured over any progress made;
The finish line was in site.
A log cabin secluded off the road
away from all of the noise of the world
Where anxieties melted away
and where any judgment was left behind at the last rest stop.
My heart can finally stop beating
at the rate of a hummingbird's wings
and enter into hibernation
like the bear in the nearby cave.
The static finally stops.
When the radio goes silent
After searching too long to find the perfect option
When the clear signal could never be reached.
Over on the table by the fireplace,
Was a puzzle I hadn't touched
since my last visit
And still several pieces away from being close to being near completion.
I'm not sure I'll see the day
when the finished masterpiece
matches the photo printed on the box
so many puzzle pieces lost over time
Under the table
in between couch cushions
behind a chair
through the floorboards
The anxieties and heartaches always come rushing back in
Like rapids roaring down the river in a hurricane
Yearning for some semblance of safety and belonging
After some time spent on a raft
Paddling up stream with the tide.
Often finding a place to rest along the shore
Before floating away once the bank
Eroded away from overstayed welcomes.
But somehow, some way
the raft washes up right back at the dock
Behind the cabin far off the road
Where my mind can rest at ease.
After a while, the heart yearns for more.
Finding a puzzle piece that was once lost
Before having to pack up what is left,
Of the the remnants of everything
My soul once yearned for before arriving here.
The trunk seems to be filled even more somehow.
Even after letting go of all the baggage
That was once before packed in the back
of the same car I showed up in.
Once back on the road
The static became increasingly more noticeable
mile by mile
as I drove more towards civilization.
The options I desire on the radio are often too far out of range
With the only way to make contact
After what feels like a year's long road trip.
Is to return to where you started and find a home.
Trying to find the right words to say
As my mind continues to draw blanks.
Just so worn out from the same cycle
That life has been and in need of change.
Sometimes I wish I knew what I doing wrong
To feel so lonely sometimes;
Kind of hard to not feel like an imposter
As the record keeps playing the same tune.
Maybe I'm too deprived of social interaction
And therefore tend to find validation in others;
Needing conversation to stay sane all too often
I know I can't change the past
And get the closure I wish I had.
I only hope this record
Keeps spinning without a scratch.
Couldn’t sleep…
Something just hasn’t felt right.
It all comes in waves
As the news rolls in with the tides.
I never know how to explain
The true depths of my feelings,
In my head it's all surface level in this world
Where there is much worse chaos at every turn
Am I okay?
I think so.
Or have I just been balling everything up
So that I just feel numb
Every so often
Until I just have to stop
And reflect on how much love
Is out there to be shared.
This merry go round just keep moving
Continuously spinning in the same direction,
With slight a flutter up and down
Until genuine love always brings me back to center.
It feels like my soul is on a safari,
never knowing what is coming
Even when the trail stays the same
Day by day
Night by night
If only the map
was in my pocket
rather than lost in translation
But such is life
you are safe and on your way home.
There only so many sights along the journey
being highlighted and known,
While the rest are hidden out of sight
In the depths of the jungle
waiting for any caring soul
to come explore
before it's too late
To feel young once more
Would be like watching a butterfly soar
Out of its cocoon for the first time
Ever so careful as it climbs
Into the vast unknown that is the sky
With an untapped potential that is ever so high.
What would I change if I could go back?
Life is too short to focus on what could have been
Instead desire what life could be.
One decision could set that butterfly inside you free.
The thing in life that remains stable
Is that today the sun will set
And tomorrow is another chance
To go out into the world
And finally realize
Your true potential is calling
For me your presence is like velvet
Ever so soft and reassuring
That even after all is said done
You will always be the sunshine
On my darkest of days
That reminds me of everything that is true
In this non stop world
That more often than not
Only highlights all of our flaws
In the end, the most important thing
Is to live in the moment today
So that you make the most of every tomorrow.
Hello,
If you are still there,
I just wanted to say
That I miss you
And would do anything to say goodbye.
Not a day goes by
That the thought of you does not remain in my mind;
Always right there when I needed you the most
To wish things had gone differently
Makes me wonder how things
Went ‘wrong’ to begin with
Your voice was ever so loving,
So selfless and free.
Never missing an important moment.
But I never thought it would still hurt
never thought time would stop so suddenly.
And send me to a place I honestly never thought I would be in
With the wait of my world crashing in around me
As subtle tears stream down my face
I can't help but think of what could have been.
Rather just keep being yourself, that's all this world could ask for.
Don't be fearful of the road ahead, just take a break when you need it.
Ever have that feeling
Where time just stands still
While you wonder what went wrong
And led to living in this exact moment?
All I feel is the warmth of the sun
shining down to ease my mind.
To stop all of the worries caused by this nonstop world
that just keeps revolving around the same norms,
while I still stop and wonder when this season will change
All the laughs and joy I hear
only makes me feel as though
I will never feel the amount of bliss that I once felt
When life was much simpler and care free.
Now I just sit here and listen to
All of those voices in the distance
That only amplify the sound of my heart yearning
for something more, something tangible to love.
There's always this feeling of tears
wanting pour down my face
Like a rainstorm curing a desert dry spell
Only temporarily flooding over the heat of summer
But like a majestic tree at the end of autumn,
true colors will be shown,
the brightness will fade,
and everything will fall back
into the same cycle of seasonal depression
But a timely gust of wind chills those feelings
until they disappear with the leaves in time.
Why does kindness have to feel like it's out of season?
Nice people just never seem to win.
Often forgotten because their kindness
is so genuine it seems fake.
Seems like they have an abundance of friends
But like a fresh tulip in bloom
A person’s true beauty lies within,
Regardless of the season’s change.
I wish I knew what to say
To take all the pain away
To know how to illustrate the feelings I bare
To someone who might actually care.
But lately love has felt so fake
And it truly makes my heart ache
As a sense of insanity settles in
And files its way under my skin.
Everything just feels so numb
Although there is still more to come
In this life with pieces on the board that have yet to move,
If only I knew how to escape this groove.
Life is alright
I just pray for the day where I see the light
That guides my heart back home and then
Feel like my best self all over again.
Can pain be felt from something
that was never physically there?
Sometimes I just want to cry
But I have built a dam to push back
the waves created from my silent sadness
As I stare at the talking mirror
Wishing it could tell me how
To fix all the pain
That I have brought upon myself
No glass slipper can cover
All of my past mistakes
Rather everyone around me shows
Their true colors when the clock strikes midnight.
Feels so hypocritical to mask
Everything underneath all of my layers
Like a clown putting on mascara
Only temporarily hiding my scars and flaws.
All that glitters isn’t always gold.
There is more than meets the eye
I just hope one day the time will come
When the tears will wash away the pain
Rather than have the same problems
crash the shore as the incoming tide
Only waiting to be rescued
From what I wish was a dream.
Escape the city they say
To put your mind at bay
After wondering if freedom from how I feel
Can ever be real?
A dream is only a sleep away
But I hate the way that I have to play
Around with these thoughts in my mind
Like can I just leave it all behind
Before I turn into something I am not.
Your smile is healing,
Briefly taking away all the pain
That disguises any deeper issue
Laying beneath the surface
Life is too short to be vile
But being real is fake,
Like an oasis in the Sahara
Way too good to actually be real.
Drawing a middle ground in the sand
Would be ideal
But without taking a stand
Would the results be real?
If only I knew how to proceed
To stop ignoring the issues
That have led me to all of
These false wells of hope.
All I try to do is a bring a smile
To the face of those I meet
But sometimes i wonder if
It truly is worth it.
Maybe I try too hard
Maybe I seem fake
Maybe I can’t find something that was never
There to begin with.
I just hope that I make an impact
On the lives of the people I encounter
Hopefully those souls will bring some
Necessary light back into my life.
Why is it so hard
to let go of something that was never there?
Like my reflection showing in the water
That just washed away as quickly as you left.
What could have been
If I had just looked past
All of the obstacles in the way and
Enjoy the setting sun while it lasts.
The thing about it all is that
It will all still be there when it’s over,
The sun will set rise once again in the morning
While the water will continue to flow with the tide.
But that moment of peace and serenity
That brief feeling that everything will be okay
Until the sun sets over the horizon
And darkness envelopes all the remains.
Finding my own light
To guide me to find my true self
Has always been the hardest thing
Since it went out in the darkness years ago.
But waiting for daybreak provides
A certain comfort that life will
Return some semblance of normalcy and belonging
Once the sun rises again
Until then
I hope that light shines just right over the water
For my reflection to be seen ever so clearly
And you can stay and enjoy the view.
Seeing your smiling face
Brings back all of the memories of when
You made me feel better than
I had ever felt in the first place.
So please do humbly accept this rose
For you let my heart finally be free
And provided me the very key
To help finish writing how this story goes.
Looking out of a window,
Seeing the same scenery over and over
Only to hear the my world around me
Is in need of repair.
While facing the waves of self doubt
And all of my insecurities
Flooding the shores
Of my life and mind.
Ever wondering if the waves will subside,
Ever have the tide pull me back
To some sense of belonging,
To some semblance of true appreciation.
Sometimes I go to catch a wave,
Only to find myself in the same cycle
Of trying to catch someone smile amongst
The monotony of my day.
I wish there was a simpler way
To just focus on me
While still feeling a part some sort of community,
Some sort of love.
Looking back out of that window,
Seeing the same scenery over and over
Only to feel something real
After years of needing repair.
My mind feels as though it’s on a seesaw,
Always floating between two norms
As all of the good days
Lean into the bad times.
While life is centered around a constant idea
That I still believe in myself,
After all the years of self doubt
That I have never been able to able to understand;
That I have never been able to correct
And totally ensure that I will be okay
While hoping that I will find someone who loves me;
Who will see for what I am and not what I was.
Maybe it’s just me longing for that embrace
That has been ever so absent from my life,
Or maybe it’s just my heart speaking out of my chest
But I just desire some unknown entity
That I just can’t explain
As the heart just yearns for what it needs.
Through the window shines a light
That truly illuminates my inner fight
Of thoughts of self doubt in mind
Against the desire to be ever so kind.
Particularly on all of the terrible days
I wish that I could have seen that light
To make me think it was just a phase
And make my soul feel alright.
I truly hate to be so brief
But this message must not fall like a leaf,
Hanging on a branch by a stem.
But your personality truly shines like a sapphire gem.
I know I may not say it all the time
So please don’t make it crime
To not exactly know how to deal
With the way you truly make me feel.
Is it ever too late
To change your fate,
To go back in time
And change it all on a dime
Well life isn’t a game
Where you can just light it all in a flame
And expect it all to just be the same.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t take a chance
And be willing to join in the dance
For you never know what’s to come.
Just be sure to follow your own rule of thumb:
Be kind
Never let doubt ruin your mind
And never leave your heart in a bind. ❤︎
My imagination can only dream so far
As if the thought of you were a shooting star;
So precious and mystifying in nature
Until it disappears in the night sky until new day.
That star is still up there somewhere
Still shining ever so brightly
As a reminder that you are still here
And shining down on the world.
It so hard to let go of something
Only to never see what was hidden behind
While always second guessing
If it was ever meant to be.
Am I allowed to cry?
Am I allowed to feel?
Because I might go insane
Trying to see if this is real.
I wish that I could feel your warm embrace
But now I can’t even picture your ever so charming face.
If things had only happened a different way
To truly have more to say.
Being vulnerable has always been difficult for me;
Not knowing where to go
Or what to exactly say.
My tires have just been stuck in a rut,
Continually revving trying to break free
But can't seem to break that mold
That world wants to place me in.
Not every day
Feels the same
But I always seem to return to the same dilemma
What am I doing
To live the life I want to live,
To be the person I want to be,
To better the people around me?
I feel as though nothing is good enough,
All alone questioning
What I did to get to this place
Of almost false happiness,
A paradox where everything seems to be ok
While in my mind
I question everything
While I try to break out
Out of the cage
That over the years I have placed around my soul.
I just want your help
To let my lonely heart
Out of its cage and
Finally be set free.
Your aura radiates so brightly
Like a lone sunflower in a deserted field.
You stand out amongst everything else
That is around you in this ever evolving world.
Hold onto sunshine my friend
Because it is what makes you
So pure and so true
And lets your true beauty be revealed.
Back and forth
It nevers ends.
Always trying to be
Some semblance of the real me.
Constant cycle in my head
One thing after another that never ends.
Waiting for a hero to save the day
As you realize there’s a greater price to pay.
Doubt always creeps right back in
After just winning the last battle
But never winning the war against
My own demons in this life.
The armor I put on every day
Shields me from most
And cast the illusion that I am stronger
Then I actually am.
This fight is how
I attempt to get more out of this life,
Putting myself out there is just the way
I attempt to continue to combat it all.
I get in my own head.
I allow it to get the best of me
And force the front lines of my defense
To take damage beyond repair.
I don’t write for your concern.
I write to get this mess off my chest.
To acknowledge that what I feel is real
To try and win this battle in the hopes of a better future.
Why do the people who truly care
Get forgotten and disregarded most often
In all of times both good and bad.
As I look in the mirror
And see all the imperfections
That truly make me believe
I am less of a person
Than anyone should ever feel
Or even remotely resemble.
All I see are people catching up
Amidst a world of total uncertainty
And yet still one thing still remains:
I am still here
Waiting for that one sign, one message
That will make me feel desired for more than a fleeting moment.
Am I going insane?
Always going out of my way
To be better,
To be genuinely kind.
Just to be disregarded,
Forgotten
Abandoned
For what seems to be better options.
They always say if they don’t treat you right,
Then move on,
Find something better
That makes you feel only the way you’ve dreamt of.
Only dreams never become true reality
And hopes don’t often come to fruition.
I just wish I knew what was wrong
So I could try and make it right.
What if things changed,
How would my world be different?
Would I feel any different?
Or would the world just keep on spinning?
I am still here.
I never left.
Am I blind,
For not finding someone who
Will put in as much effort
As I do?
I may never find concrete answers
But I am content with
Knowing that I am good enough
So that silence won’t haunt me.
Each day brings about something new,
An ever evolving picture to be drawn.
So why feel so blue
When all of normality is gone?
Take all the time you need to rest,
Because only time will show you how to heal.
Be ready to give your absolute best
When humans can get together again to make a deal.
Lay your pillow down beneath you
And let go of what you cannot control.
Be open to seeing the world from a different view,
So that we can become better people as a whole.
What is love?
A feeling?
An action?
An enigma?
Regardless I wish I had someone
To share this life with
To relish in the good times with
To wallow through sorrow by.
I may hate to rhyme
But poetry is how I feel
Until there comes a time
That I can talk about what is truly real.
Love have has eluded me
Whether that be because of fear
Or a bleak dream
Is neither here nor there.
What matters is the present
What matters is here and now
What matters is that you’ll be here
When I need you the most.
All I am asking for a chance
To show someone my true self
In order to liberate my soul
From my own demons holding me back.
Only time will tell
If love will ever find me
Or will I continue to be hopeless
Searching for something I may never find?
After years of building a wall
Surrounding how I truly feel
Brick by brick
Stone by stone.
There comes a point in life
Where I feel that construction should be suspended
In the hopes of a fresh start,
A new opportunity coming to fruition.
Until nothing happens
As if life became a tumbleweed
Only blowing past during your lowest of lows
To further prove how alone you feel
Try
Try
Try again
From an early age we are told
That if you fail in life
You should continuously attempt to get what you want.
Well I just want to become loved
To abandon that tumbleweed mentality;
To not be an afterthought in my own mind
To be someone’s first choice
To be my own priority,
Because in the end my own worst enemy
Is letting the actions of those outside the wall affect
My mentality towards life.
Always forgotten;
Often left behind.
Why do I let myself feel this way
When all I want is validation.
For the years of work that I put in
To become the man I am today.
All around me is life's noise
Continuously pounding
While my mind keeps running,
Looking for some reason.
Just a reason
As to why those we love are left behind
In the constant motion of life.
Just why?
Just why are we unwilling to try a new route
And foster a new relationship
That could end up saving your life.
But in comes doubt.
Doubt of self worth.
Doubt of being able to make genuine relationships that aren't artificial.
Doubt of everything
But what the hell do I know?
I'm just a hopeless soul
Looking for love
Where it has been lost at sea for ages.
All I want is love
To shelter my heart from the past
To to allow joy to come back into my life.
To feel accepted in my own skin.
Talk is cheap when the past repeats itself
When your actions speak louder than your words,
When ignorance becomes bliss,
When time doesn’t heal all wounds.
Surround yourself with good people they say,
Just as great souls are washed away like seashells on the shore,
Always there in times of prosperity
But soon forgotten in the eye of the storm.
One. Just One.
One moment of your time
One second of attention
One flash of hope.
As it really takes a special person
To make me feel a sense of acceptance
After years of being consistently forgotten
And appreciated at their convenience.
So when that extraordinary human rolls around.
Cherish their company
And love them for who they are
Because life has a way of changing reality real fast.
And you have to keep afloat before you are washed away in the crowd.
I always try to reach out,
Always try to see you for you.
Only wishing a gap in the gate
Separating us would free me to feel something new.
But the past is there for a reason.
What has happened we cannot change.
If differences cannot be aside for our sake
I wish you the best
But I have to move on and better myself
Because I just miss the real me.
In your future I hope you have the chance
To make your life feel like an elegant dance,
Ever so free
From concern of who you were meant to be. ♡
Trying to find the words to say
As I somehow patiently await the break of day.
All I’ve ever wanted was to feel
Like the feelings I had towards you were real
And never wavered in any way.
But a great deal of time has passed
Since the exchange that shouldn’t have been our last.
If the option to change the past was present,
I would only explain how to cope in future.
I may not talk about my pains
Because there is so much more in life to gain.
Except when those pains widen the distance
Growing between my heart and those I love.
Just wish I could’ve had more time before you were
Gone
Time has a way of causing action just as
Life has a rhythm that moves us all in union.
Until you break free away from the chains
That have hindered your dreams for years.
What you do with your time is your choice,
But why not do what truly spreads your joy since
Any day now you could return home,
Back to the center of this ever whirling circle called life.
Be Different. Spread Love. Welcome Joy
Thank you for being a friend,
Someone who appreciates my humor
And laughs with me until the night’s end.
You truly have a heart of gold,
Always so selfless
And that my friend will never, ever get old.
When I was growing up,
I always had this subconscious fear
of showing how I really feel,
as if I had built a wall around my heart.
To keep my feelings from being exposed
or putting my trust in another being.
All of my hard work
of coming to realize that you were truly there for me
would then slip away when we lost touch.
When I say I'm there, I truly mean it.
All I wish for in return is the same notion back.
Our trust and friendship will come in time.
We all make mistakes.
It is truly how you adjust in life that makes you a better person in the end.
I am no expert in how to go about life by any means,
But I do know that being a good person usually brings better people into the picture.
Don't let everyone into your life because you will get hurt.
But try and take down a portion of the wall surrounding your soul
And build a sturdy door to welcome new beginnings
while closing your past behind you.
On the verge of tears
Never acknowledging the emotion beneath my skin.
While the world keeps moving
With no regard for forgotten souls.
Always having seen the light at the end of the tunnel,
Some days my heart beats over the moon with happiness.
While most days I roll deep into the tunnel of my own psyche,
Forever living inside of my own thoughts.
I always reminisce on what I can’t control
Because I wish I had what could have been.
All I hope for is your success
Even if we have not talked in ages.
I wish someone could reel my soul out of the darkness.
To feel the embrace of someone who cares,
Whose priorities align with mine
Someone who makes me a better person.
If love is out there, I hope someday I will find it.
I hope I can share some portion of my pain.
I hope that I can feel true happiness more often
I hope that I am loved.
Why do I hide
Why do I curl up in a ball
From a feeling that I don’t know how to describe.
I just wish someone could understand.
The reflection I see can be
like the epiphany I wish I never had.
Only wish I had looked sooner,
To see where I went wrong.
Just look at yourself.
What do you see?
Probably something that made you turn the other way.
Sometimes I feel like I lost my true self.
As if I were a sinking ship
Only staying afloat for so long.
Positive reinforcement only goes so far
I can only talk to myself for so long.
At some you might want to reconsider
How you are living your ever precious life.
Find the man in the mirror
That used to truly loved what he did.
Bring him back to restore purpose and joy
And maybe find some friends to share it with.
Only then will you have what you want for yourself.
Life with joy, purpose, and most importantly:
love
It takes time.
It takes effort.
It takes a split second to realize that you’ve made it.
A split second to show someone
That they mean something to you,
To say that they matter.
I only wish I actually had you here,
To feel your ever warm embrace;
To see your loving smile one more time.
Maybe I’m hopeless,
But it is too much to ask
To have someone to share the wonders of life with.
Not every dream can become a reality.
I hate to be the breaker of bad news
But some things were just never meant to be.
Words cannot describe how I feel
When I can only dream
Of what was and what could of been.
It just kills me to know
That someone is out there
To send out my lifeline
To find somebody who loves:
Me.
For who I am and always will be.
ME.
For every moment that ticks by
I for some reason question my self worth,
Which I should not have to justify
In order to live happily on this earth.
All of my emotions just continue to pile up
Right in front of my self made dam
Full of my past and current pain
Until one day it will all overflow endlessly.
I do not know when that will occur
But always being someone’s second choice,
Makes what I do feel worthless.
Makes the joy I try to bring to people seem as if its a shattered mirror.
All scattered across the room
Unable to pull itself back from the brink of no return,
But shows your reflection staring back
Ever so imperfect back in return.
I may never be your first choice.
Damn, I may never be a choice.
All I ask is that I be remembered
As someone who brought a light of joy in your life.
It is that simple,
Not only for me
But for all of those quiet and joyous souls out there
Who open hearts to joy in this world.
I will say this forever and always.
Check up on the people you love.
See how they are genuinely doing.
Because deep down they are the ones that are hurting the most,
And who need your help to pick up their shatters up off the floor.
Where did I go wrong?
How many mistakes have I made
that I can never get back?
I wish I knew how to right all my sins,
to be back on everyone’s good side.
But time must take its toll on us
Before redemption can ensue.
All the world sees is a glimmering tide
moving ever so perfectly and simple;
So calm as if there was nothing wrong.
But way down under all that is beautiful
Is just murky soil ever so deep
Awaiting a heroic cleanse of the soul
That will never come.
I wish I had all of the answers,
But I am as far from perfect as they come.
I only know what life has gleaned to me ever so carefully.
Keep your friends close, as they make you stronger in everything you do.
Express yourself, it’s the only way to highlight the good times
And resurrect your soul during the bad times.
Always set your next goal higher than the last
To always keep yourself motivated with something to live for.
Life moves by like a rumbling train,
No one ever truly sees your inner pain.
They only go around saying your name in vain
And profit off of what is yours to gain.
I just wish I knew what I did wrong
To be sent outside the castle gates
That society has forever built around me.
Time ticks away ever so briskly
That no one ever takes the few moments needed
To thank the people they love for everything
While they still have the chance.
When does being a being a good person count?
When will being genuine create a real connection?
When will someone reach out?
Many attempts have been made
To cast out my line and reconnect
Only to be ignored and pushed aside
For some greater good to find.
If we have not talked in ages
And you have made some difference in my life,
Thank you and I love you.
Only time will truly tell
How the next ten years will go.
I only wish I knew who would be with me
To see how we would all turn out in the end.
All I do is try,
Try to be my best self.
A self that I would be proud of
And willing to share with the world.
Just one yes would be needed
To validate that my actions
are worth it
And make a difference in someone’s life.
The world should never be the reason
why you do something in life.
Rather the world should be why
you want to become a better person.
I wish I had a moment of clarity:
A point in time where what I meant to do
would just make itself clear
like a rainbow after a perfect storm.
In the end none of that occurs.
All emotion gets bundled up inside
and boils over like an erupting volcano,
Unforgiving of those who lay in its path.
The world never gives into demands.
But one wish could turn life around.
Without you I have been left speechless.
Without you I have been in a dream.
Without you...
Never fathomed that it would happen so soon,
So soon I had no time to prepare
For the internal struggle that would ensue.
I wish that I could have been there more.
I wish that I could have said what I needed to.
I wish that I could just have those times back.
To say that I don’t think about everything
I have done wrong in my life…
Well I would just be lying to myself.
Life just loves to be like a game,
A game that I sure as hell haven’t come close to mastering
but a game that I must play.
Always questioning why.
Just why?
Why does this have to happen?
Tears may come to my eyes
because I miss you so much.
But the world may never see that
Because I have been reluctant to let the world
know about my inner thoughts to this point in my life.
I just wish that I knew what to say to someone
to describe how I truly feel when I feel no one
has tried to hear me.
Without you there will always be a hole in my heart
Without you I may never know what to say
Without you...I am who I am because of you.
Where is the light I once wandered toward
that drove me to be better than I was?
When will I find the missing piece
that makes my soul feel restored?
Playing the same tune only on repeat
protects me from discussing the sorrow which
plagues me without the world ever knowing,
leading to my psychological defeat.
On the outside where the world gazes
I look as if I have only aged another day.
They will never know how I honestly operate
Because my mind is just floating around in a constant daze.
What could I have done wrong
To be put in such a position.
To have to feel so desperate,
So alone at times.
So ignored.
So hungry for something that is more than surface level.
To fathom of when I began to feel this way
is quite difficult since these feelings have never ended.
Always being half inside society’s social door
Still haunts me to this very day.
I wish I could just figure out
when the world will come around.
When will my best self be ok.
When will this feeling go away.
I guess that’s just life’s mystery that I may have to play.
what happened to us?
what happened to the friendship we once had?
what happened to life as it once was?
To say I hope that you are well
Is a statement that I do not slight.
But when our exchanges flew away like a kite;
Ever so slow but it was known that a return
was out of sight.
There was no hope of being saved by the bell.
If I could just have one hope,
It would be to mend all the relationships
That have fallen apart because of what I have
done or how time has changed us
For good or for worse,
A reunion would be something I would not miss.
AS TIME PASSED BY, WE GREW APART
AS LIFE TOOK ITS TOLL WE FOUND OTHERS
AND FORGOT WHAT WE HAD
AS WE GREW AS PEOPLE, OUR FEELINGS EBBED
AND FLOWED CONCURRENTLY.
I just wish we could catch up.
I just wish we could talk about the present,
I just wish we could hash out the past.
I just wish we could see where the future takes us.
If it never happens,
Well then it was never meant to be
And it should be left as a mystery.