To you,
Here we are, you are 22. Honestly, I didn't think I would actually write this piece again. There was something about it that just didn’t fit into my recent timeline with everything going on in my life. But I often came across the doc while doing other work. There was just something in my mind that told me to stop and reflect on another year. Why would I let the hustle of the day to day get in the way of something that is useful for my personal growth and hopefully yours. So here we are, another year the wiser (I like to think so anyway).
I don’t know why people make a big deal of birthdays to begin with. Why only celebrate living another day for only one day a year? Why not make it feel like every day has some sort of purpose. At least try to enjoy it a little bit. I know you don’t like as much of the attention that comes with the day. But when you think about it, it’s a day that makes you feel loved in the sense that those around you are thankful you are in their lives. I think that’s why you named this endeavour Everyday Needs Motivation. Or at least part of the reason. Not to be overly positive all the time, because we all know that’s just toxic and is counterproductive. More so, I think the name comes from knowing that there are going to be bad days. There are going to be plenty of those for sure. But it’s finding the light that every day presents and continuing to move towards the goals that bring you the most joy.
On another note first of all, happy birthday my dude. I don’t know why I always write in the third person on my birthday but that’s another story for another day. I say this every year but it is valid and needs to be said more often. I am quite proud of you for making it to this point. Through all of the adversity you went through, self inflicted or not, that in it of itself is quite the accomplishment. This year had its ups and downs. Lots of them to be quite honest. For that alone I’d like to congratulate you on doing great things so far in your life. Only I wish you had taken longer to reflect on everything you’ve done in order to get where you stand today. I get that you absolutely hate talking about yourself, never mind highlighting anything you did. God forbid you take some credit every now and again. You often don’t want the spotlight. The only thing you want is for a ray of light to shine on you every once in a while, just long enough to be noticed and feel wanted. But even then that is a rare occurrence unless you acted differently from your exuberant and caring self.
This year I took some time to tweak some of the original lessons that I had originally given you 2 years ago to the day. I just reworded some to better reflect what I have learned over time. Reflecting on that has definitely been a learning experience for sure. And that is ok. Really shows that we are not perfect and always improving as individuals. But this year I decided to add yet another tip to the list. You are enough. This has been something that I have been saying a lot this year. I think just a lot of stress overcame me more than in the past. I think the just of it is that through all of the turmoil in life, your best is enough. That can change daily. Others don’t define your worth. You do. Don’t let the outside world keep you down. Learn from it all to make you better. Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t enough in this world. Because they don’t deserve to be in your life. Keep pushing, keep fighting for what you love.
Here is the new complete list of all 22 things that I would tell my past, present and future self:
Be your true and authentic self
This is pretty self explanatory, although it may seem cliché. You got this far, so why change who you are now? You ARE great, always remember that no matter what happens in the rest of your life.
Be willing to move on from things that do not give you joy
This is going to be a tough pill to swallow. You always want to continue doing the things that once brought you the happiest moments in your life. You always want to stay in touch with people you feel deserve that. But there will come a point in your life where you will need to draw that line and move on to better yourself. Find that difference and be aware of the world around you.
Make sure family stays important in your life
Family is just something that you will want to have to fall back on when something goes wrong (because eventually it sure as hell could). Although you really can’t choose family, you can choose the amount of importance they take in your life. Always remember they had a large part in shaping your personality into what it is today.
But make time for friends when you need to
Don’t be so dang antisocial all the time. Go interact with your friends and make some memories that would have never happened otherwise.
Do what makes you happy
Life is too short to be drowning in your own sorrows doing things that don’t bring you some level of joy. Go out and make the difference that we both know you want to make and be happy again. There have been only a few moments where I have felt truly happy so far and I want you to have more of those opportunities.
Go outside your comfort zone every now and then
Again I hate to reiterate myself but I feel like you need to hear it. Go on an adventure and change up the status quo in your life. Go say yes to some crazy request and make memories that you will love to share with the next generation.
Take time to reflect and recenter
As much as I would love to see you out and about more, it is imperative that you take time for yourself. For your own health, just take a few moments every now and then to step away from the world and just think. Between school, work, friends, family and everything else that’s thrown at you I don’t even know how you find time to sleep, never mind think. But the best thoughts are found in silence. Use that to your advantage to find your way to make a difference in the world.
Don’t be afraid to have outward emotions
Right now you may think that you need to keep your self proclaimed ‘wall of emotion’ built as high as the sky. But it is definitely ok to show emotion and just cry it out. Life absolutely sucks and situations come up that bring out the worst facets of life. Trust me in the fact that you have had your fair share.
Take your own advice every now and then.
You would think after trying to help so many people get through things you’d start to catch on. Just stop being such a freaking hypocrite and go live your life how you wish you could.
Aim to laugh, think, and cry everyday
As Jim Valvano said if you have accomplished this then you have definitely lived a full day. Just appreciate all of the highs and lows in life and make the most of the time in between.
Give the same effort that you would expect to be reciprocated back.
Don’t accept anything less than you are willing to give. The people whom you should have in your life will do that one thousand times over. BE friendly with the rest of the world because you never know when you will see them again in life. Your actions are often the thing people remember you by years later, not what you said to them. Remember to appreciate the people that you’ve surrounded yourself with.
Cherish the beauty in life while you still can
This is so cliché. So much that it is so true. I cannot reiterate this enough but do not by any means let ANYTHING hold you. If doing something means something to you, get up off the dang couch and go freaking do it dude. Life is too short to push new adventures off in your life. Whether that be something as simple as meeting someone new or traveling across the world just do it. The worst that can happen is you’re told no, rethink your course of action, and try again.
Don’t be afraid to show the world who you are
If the world does not accept you for who you truly are, well you might need to find another planet. But in all seriousness, go ahead and show more people who are. Take some baby steps in this department though. Don’t go and tell everyone your whole life story (because you know you hate when people do that).
Keep cracking jokes when the time is right 😂
Dude, you have a better sense of humor than you give yourself credit for. Just don’t quit your day job and become a comedian like your family suggests.
Choose your words deliberately
What you say to people can truly have a lasting impact that can be irreversible. Be careful how you approach situations and be aware of who is around. You never know who is around and how they can change your life.
Ask for a hug when you need it
Life can be hard sometimes. At some point you just need to let all of your built up emotions out of your system. Find someone you love and trust and hug it out. No one should go through life alone and I hope you find someone to share it with.
Be willing to hear what you don’t want to
The only way to improve yourself sometimes is hearing the worst from the people you love the most. Be willing to adapt when you are made aware of the fact that you are doing something wrong. Don’t be afraid of failure, just be willing to learn from it.
Pursue what you want in life
The worst thing that can happen is that they say no and life goes on. Even then persistence is key so go rethink your approach and go for that dream again. But if the answer is yes, then you will go far and the sky's the limit.
Live life to the fullest
Life is too short not to try and experience everything the world has to offer. Go out and live your dream. Go meet that stranger across the room. Who knows, they may be your long lost best friend from across the world.
Be the change that you want to see in the world
Finally, again stop being such a hypocrite and go live your own vision for life. It only takes one interaction to make an impact, so what the hell is stopping you from taking action? Self doubt is all. Just get over that hurdle in your mind and you will be golden.
Let go
Let go of your past. Let go of the weight holding you down. Let go of the people who bring you down and don’t care about your well being as much you care about theirs. Now don’t get crazy and hold a bunch of grudges. That’s just not worth it and will probably get you nowhere. Just take note of how certain situations and how certain people made you feel.
You are enough