Eternal Little Memories was born out of deep love and empathy for the unborn, and those who grieve them. Though, as with any death, the death of a fetus or infant remains a great mystery, the Church has profound prayers and supplications for these babies, and those who mourn them. It is right that we should offer these prayers as a community, because Orthodoxy does not turn away from the hard or uncomfortable; rather, it embraces it, brings it into the light, and covers it with the Agape love of God. Such is the mission of Eternal Little Memories: to bring those who are grieved from a place of loneliness to a place of comfort, healing, and hope; and to affirm the sanctity of lives of the babies who have been lost.
Countless hours have gone into shaping our October 11th program, with great care taken to ensure every element is intentional, meaningful, and compassionate—honoring the lost babies and supporting all who attend. Please read on to learn about the significance behind various aspects of the program.
The Name
In Orthodoxy, when a loved one passes we fervently pray that their memory be eternal; that is to say, may they forever be remembered by God, and present with Him in His kingdom. Eternal Little Memories is born of this same prayer. Though the lives of miscarried and stillborn babies are brief, we pray that their little memories be eternal before our Lord. May they find rest where the light of His countenance shines.
The Date
October is established as Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness month, and for this reason we wanted to hold our event in October. More specifically, October 15 is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. On this day, we encourage you to light a candle and say a prayer in memory of the babies lost far too soon.
The Bookmark
Rather than a traditional program that would likely end up in a landfill, we hope you will hold onto our bookmark program and use it in your own home, whether to hold a place in your prayer book or Bible, or simply displayed as a memento for the babies you hold in your heart. On the back of the bookmark, we carefully selected Psalm 125(126) v.5: Those who sow in tears will reap with exceeding joy. This verse reminds us that the tribulations of this life will yield reward in the life to come. Please refer to the quote below, from St. John Chrysostom's Commentary on the Psalms (translated by Robert Charles Hill), for a more complete dialogue with this verse, which captures the heart of the Psalm more perfectly than we could ever hope to:
Those who sow in tears will reap in joy (v.5) While this is said in reference to the Jews, in many places it could also be referred elsewhere. Virtue is like that, you see: it offers conspicuous reward for its labors; we need firstly to toil and struggle, and then to seek rest. After all, you would find this happening everywhere even in things of this life. For this reason the psalmist also focused on these things, sowing and harvesting. In other words, just as the sower needs to apply effort, sweat and tears, and winter is also required, so too the person practicing virtue: nothing is so unsuited to laxity as a human being. Hence God made this way narrow and constrained — or, rather, not only the practice of virtue: even the things of this life he made laborious, and in fact far more so. I mean, the sower, the builder, the traveler, the woodsman, the artisan — every person who has in mind to gain some advantage needs to apply labor and effort. As the seeds need rain, so we need tears; and as the land has need of ploughing and digging, so too the soul needs trials and tribulations in place of the hoe so that it not bear noxious weeds, that its hardness be softened, that it not be carried away. Soil that is not worked with diligence, remember, produces nothing healthy.
Accordingly, what the inspired author means is this: there is cause to rejoice not only in the return but also in the captivity, and to give thanks to God for both. The latter is the sowing, you see, the former the harvest. Just as the sowers, then, though laboring, enjoy the yield later, so you too, on departing, imitated the sowers by the hardship you underwent, in your weariness and tribulations, putting up with winter, war, clouds and frost by shedding tears. In other words, what rain is to the seeds, tears are to those in tribulation. But lo, he says, accept the reward for these labors.
The Flower Offering
As part of our in person event, we invite you to place a red rose for each baby you are remembering into one of the vases in front of the icon of Christ or the Theotokos. The rose symbolizes the love held for each baby, and placing it at the feet of Christ as we place all of our worldly hopes and burdens. The white flowers already in the vases in front of the iconostasis call to mind to purity and innocence of those who are lost before birth. The contrasting red reminds us of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, both for us and for the babies, and of the love and hope we hold through and in Him.
The Music
The music played during our Moment of Reflection was thoughtfully selected by Fr. Alex and Presbytera Nicole. They are orthodox lullabies by St. Elisabeth Convent in Minsk, Belarus. These lullabies are an appropriate way to honor and remember the lost unborn babies we grieve.