"Midnight Mass"
S1E7
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S1E7
本週參與成員介紹：
S、Renaee、zöe、Ping、Linda、wei、Hazel、Alison、Katee、Han 共10名
(Erin’s Monologue)
So what do you think happens when we die, Erin?
Speaking for myself?
Speaking for yourself.
Myself. My self.
That's the problem.
That's the whole problem
with the whole thing.
That word, "self."
That's not the word.
That's not right, that isn't…
That isn't.
How did I forget that?
When did I forget that?
The body stops a cell at a time,
but the brain keeps firing those neurons.
Little lightning bolts,
like fireworks inside,
and I thought I'd despair or feel afraid,
but I don't feel any of that.
None of it.
Because I'm too busy.
I'm too busy in this moment. Remembering.
Of course.
I remember that every atom in my body
was forged in a star.
This matter, this body is
mostly just empty space after all,
and solid matter?
It's just energy vibrating very slowly
and there is no me.
There never was.
with the electrons of the ground below me
and the air I'm no longer breathing.
And I remember
there is no point
where any of that ends and I begin.
I remember I am energy. Not memory.
Not self.
My name, my personality,
my choices, all came after me.
I was before them and I will be after,
and everything else is pictures,
picked up along the way.
Fleeting little dream-lets
printed on the tissue of my dying brain.
And I am the lightning that jumps between.
I am the energy firing the neurons,
and I'm returning.
Just by remembering, I'm returning home.
And it's like a drop of water
falling back into the ocean,
of which it's always been a part.
All things… a part.
All of us… a part.
You, me and my little girl,
and my mother and my father,
everyone who's ever been,
every plant, every animal, every atom,
every star, every galaxy, all of it.
More galaxies in the universe
than grains of sand on the beach.
And that's what we're talking about
when we say "God."
The one.
The cosmos and its infinite dreams.
We are the cosmos dreaming of itself.
It's simply a dream
that I think is my life, every time.
But I'll forget this. I always do.
I always forget my dreams.
But now, in this split-second,
in the moment I remember,
the instant I remember,
I comprehend everything at once.
There is no time. There is no death.
Life is a dream.
It's a wish.
Made again and again and again
and again and again and again
and on into eternity.
And I am all of it.
I am everything. I am all.
I am that I am.
[inhales]
S、R .Sue、zöe、Ping、Linda、wei、Hazel、Alison、Katee、Han
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