Project 1

Project 1

Hello my name is Sergio Lopez and I am a 17 year old Mexican homesexual who can barely describe their own self. Every time I’m asked the question “ How do you describe yourself?” I struggle to answer. Often I would find myself curling up into a ball inside my own little imagery world and repeatedly ask myself “who am I?” I believe that all of this started during my childhood. As we have learned these past weeks we tend to become, act or describe ourselves as the people surrounding feel about us. I would always put on a persona that everyone would like and accept without any issues or complaints. With my parents I would always stay quiet and submissive to their authority, I was their perfect child. On the other hand with my friends I always tried to act “cool” and be “cool” in order to prevent myself from getting bullied.

Throughout all the acting that I played through my childhood, I now find myself lost in an endless maze trying to find who I really am at the center of that maze. Its been about three years since I came to this realization and I’m still struggling to find myself in this maze, but I do know this: I am the kid that talks a lot with their friends, only laughs at dark humor and tries to get out of their comfort zone. I tend to always be myself in any environment that I am able to but when my friends are with me I will always be my true self no matter the situation, because thanks to them I am now starting to find myself. Whenever I am around I can act and feel however I want, I can cry or feel emotional and they won't tell me “men don’t cry '' as I had been previously told by my family members. Including in my own social media I tend to be myself. Social media is a place where people are able to put on persona’s or be able to feel more confident in themselves by not being able to see the person on the other side of the screen liking that Instagram photo.

Although I do not use social media like Instagram as much as my peers do I do use Snapchat a lot. I am always posting my story about how my day is going and in there you can truly see the real chaotic me. I talk about my trauma, in fact I laugh at my own childhood trauma as a coping mechanism or I just talk about the bad luck that the universe sends my way. In social media we tend to act; we pretend that we are happy even when we’re not. For example, when you look at celebrities' social media and they are at a fancy, beautiful resort you would think that they are having the best time of their lives but because they are humans as well they have their bad days. They feel down and start feeling sad, they also may have experienced trauma that they have yet to deal with, we can never really know a person because at the end of the day it's all an act, but through non verbal cues that we do we are able to learn more about a person. For example when we are nervous some people can start biting their nails or passing their hands through their hair multiple times while breathing hard. When you see a person doing this you know that they are nervous without having to ask them about it. As you get to know someone better you are able to pick up on things that they do. When you compare this with social media through a person’s body language you can tell how they are truly feeling. Our taste of music can also be a way in which we are able to represent ourselves. We pick our songs for a reason. They can relate to our own life, the person behind them is someone who you support in their views and what they stand for. For example let's say that you listen to Lady Gaga this could mean that you are a strong supporter of the LGBTQIA+ community or a member, believe in feminism and much more. When we feel sad or depressed we usually don’t want people to know that, but there are certain things that we do to let others know. If you are the sparkly, energetic, happy friend and you don’t want to talk to anyone or if it becomes the people in your surroundings will notice the change. On the other hand through body posture you can show confidence. An up straight pose looking up and not the floor and maintaining eye contact with the people in front of you shows that you're confident and strong willed.

We as a society only look at the outside of our shell and never really the inside. Social media, your body language, and the way you act around others is the way that your peers, family members and community describes and because we tend to adopt what the people around us say about ourselves we become that person and lose ourselves in our own acting.