Priyanka Sharma

What is Happening to the Silent Listeners in an Empathy Circle. The Benefits of Silent Listening
Speaker:  Priyanka Sharma (15  min)
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Summary and Transcript

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Priyanka Sharma discussed the benefits of silent listening in empathy circles, emphasizing its role in fostering connection and understanding. She highlighted cultural differences in the perception of silence, noting that Mediterranean cultures view it negatively, while Nordic cultures encourage it for reflective space. Priyanka shared personal experiences, including the challenges of maintaining silence and the importance of non-verbal cues. She also discussed the psychological demands of silent listening and the value of self-empathy. Priyanka co-facilitates empathy circles in India, where cultural norms often prompt immediate reactions, making silent listening particularly impactful.

Action Items

Outline

Introduction and Purpose of the Talk

• Cara Wilson introduces Priyanka Sharma, highlighting her roles as a consultant, coach, and facilitator.

• Priyanka Sharma expresses gratitude for the opportunity to speak about silent listening in empathy circles.

• Priyanka outlines her plan to discuss the communication model by Jacobson, research on silence in communication, and her personal experiences in empathy circles.

• She emphasizes the importance of silence in fostering connection and understanding.

Cultural Perspectives on Silence

• Priyanka Sharma reads a poem by Emily Dickinson, discussing the dread of silence and its significance in different cultures.

• She explains that Mediterranean cultures view silence negatively, while Nordic cultures encourage it for reflective space.

• Priyanka highlights the contextual use of silence in Japan and China, and its role in fostering empathy and understanding.

• She notes that silence can be used as a soft "no" in high-context cultures like India.

Silence in Communication and Non-Verbal Cues

• Priyanka defines silence as the absence of noise and discusses the importance of non-verbal communication.

• She shares an experience of being distracted by constant interjections in a meeting, emphasizing the importance of deep listening.

• Priyanka describes her initial fear of silence in empathy circles and how it helped her confront vulnerability and anxiety.

• She discusses the importance of non-verbal cues in communicating empathy and understanding in silent listening.

Challenges and Benefits of Silent Listening

• Priyanka talks about the challenges of being a silent listener, such as managing triggers and reactions.

• She explains how empathy circles help practitioners work on their reactivity and consciousness.

• Priyanka shares her experience of learning to contain reactions and respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

• She highlights the importance of self-empathy in silent listening to avoid distracting others.

Impact of Silent Listening on Empathy Circles

• Priyanka discusses the common misconception that silent listeners do nothing, emphasizing the active role they play.

• She shares feedback from participants who initially wanted to intervene but later appreciated the value of silent listening.

• Priyanka explains how silent listening communicates respect, compassion, and a safe space for the speaker.

• She connects the practice of silent listening to Eastern and mystical traditions, where silence is seen as a path to the infinite.

Experiences with Empathy Circles in India

• Cara Wilson asks Priyanka about her experiences with empathy circles in India.

• Priyanka describes co-facilitating empathy circles with Kedar and the cultural challenges of maintaining silence in India.

• She notes that in India, people often feel the need to console or offer solutions when someone is sharing sensitive information.

• Priyanka highlights the importance of creating a space where people can share vulnerably without judgment.

Final Thoughts and Audience Questions

• Cara Wilson and Edwin Rutsch ask Priyanka about the impact of silent reactions in the chat during talks.

• Priyanka advises against silent reactions in the chat, as they can distract the speaker and other participants.

• Cara Wilson expresses her appreciation for Priyanka's insights and the practical benefits of empathy circles.

• Priyanka concludes by reiterating the importance of silent listening in fostering empathy and understanding.