What's good: In 50 words or more let your colleague know what they did right regarding the assignment based on the instructions. 

Amanda I really like your introduction and how engaging it is since it starts with a question. I also like how you introduce your sources and their relevance. Your sources also look really strong, and I like how you frequently use them to back up your points more than once per paragraph. I also think all of your sub headers are very descriptive and transition into your next points well. 

What needs improving: In 50 words or more point out what your colleague needs to do to make their composition better. 

I love all of the details you have in your essay; I just think the sentences could flow better. There are also some grammar errors. In your background paragraphs I think you could work on connecting them to dance more. I also think the one paragraph about the benefits of good culture and a healthy environment could also be further elaborated on. Also add your pictures!

Grammar: Identify two or more grammar mistakes in this composition. You can just copy and paste them and state why you find them wrong. Or comment generally on the person's grammar. If you do not identify any grammatical errors, leave here blank. You will lose 1.5 points for this review if your instructor finds three or more mistakes in this composition and while you found none. 

When just a few words can define a dancers’ performance, skill, and even body, it can have a lot of toll on the dancers’ view of themself. (plural and singular mix up)

• Themself should be themselves 

• Apostrophe changes

Once a connection is made in the dance world, is is almost never lost and the beautiful part of creation in dance, is that you can collab and create with anyone and everyone.

• Typo (is is)

I think some sentences are a little long or awkward too so maybe looking through the flow would be beneficial. 

Remarks: In one or more sentences state what stands out to you in this composition and/or what you want the composer to pay attention to during revision. 

I really like your resolution and conclusion paragraphs, and I like how you chose to find a middle ground and also highlighted the need for more awareness about mental health in dance. I also like that you made your conclusion more precise. I really love how you could share your own experience as well! 

What's good: In 50 words or more let your colleague know what they did right regarding the assignment based on the instructions. 

  I really loved the pictures for your topic because they added to the overall message and gave extra information. The introduction paragraph sets up the topic well and I think the thesis sets up the entire essay well. I think all the examples of lying and how it can be done in multiple examples is also useful to know and gives good context. 

What needs improving: In 50 words or more point out what your colleague needs to do to make their composition better. 

I really like this essay and do not think there is much to improve. The sources at the bottom should have a hanging indent. Also, I think there are a couple sentences that have redundancy about what lying is defined as so maybe focusing on how it can manifest in lots of situations would make the essay stronger. The flow should also be looked over just to find the smoothest version. 

Grammar: Identify two or more grammar mistakes in this composition. You can just copy and paste them and state why you find them wrong. Or comment generally on the person's grammar. If you do not identify any grammatical errors, leave here blank. You will lose 1.5 points for this review if your instructor finds three or more mistakes in this composition and while you found none. 

Some sentences are missing spaces after periods. However, there are no real grammar mistakes. 

Remarks: In one or more sentences state what stands out to you in this composition and/or what you want the composer to pay attention to during revision. 

There is a good use of sources, and I like all the arguments for both sides and think they are well developed. Reviewing some of the sentence structures is really the last step.  

What's good: In 50 words or more let your colleague know what they did right regarding the assignment based on the instructions. 

I love the introduction and how everyone is introduced. There is also a good use of transitions. I like that people on campus got interviewed because it makes the video seem well researched and applicable to lots of people. I like that the people are not all friends too because it means there is a wide range of opinion. I also think the questions help lead the entire argument and make the whole video engaging and organized. 

What needs improving: In 50 words or more point out what your colleague needs to do to make their composition better. 

I really liked the entire video, and I think that maybe there could be a little music as background for the interviews just so that the entire video has a little bit of music and it flows. Maybe adding the peoples names that get interviewed would be helpful. I think making the transitions a little smoother could be helpful too. 

Grammar: Identify two or more grammar mistakes in this composition. You can just copy and paste them and state why you find them wrong. Or comment generally on the person's grammar. If you do not identify any grammatical error, leave here blank. You will lose 1.5 points for this review if your instructor finds three or more mistakes in this composition and while you found none. 

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Remarks: In one or more sentences state what stands out to you in this composition and/or what you want the composer to pay attention to during revision. 

Your entire video is amazing and really well done! There are a lot of sources and I like that because it supports the interviews and makes the entire topic seem very well researched. 

Advanced Argumentative Video

What's good: In 50 words or more let your colleague know what they did right regarding the assignment based on the instructions. 

The introduction is really good and emotional and does a great job at setting up the issue. There are lots of clips that show what being absorbed in technology look like. There are clear transitions and words also are used effectively for important points. I also like that there is a lot of data to back up points and makes a clear argument and adds supporting details. 

What needs improving: In 50 words or more point out what your colleague needs to do to make their composition better. 

Some of the monologues are quieter than others and are way louder so double checking that could be useful. Some pictures also seem added in a little randomly and a little choppy. Some of the points seem repeated like the point about dates not being focused on each other is said three times. 

Grammar: Identify two or more grammar mistakes in this composition. You can just copy and paste them and state why you find them wrong. Or comment generally on the person's grammar. If you do not identify any grammatical error, leave here blank. You will lose 1.5 points for this review if your instructor finds three or more mistakes in this composition and while you found none. 

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Remarks: In one or more sentences state what stands out to you in this composition and/or what you want the composer to pay attention to during revision. 

All of the points and shared information does a good job of proving your point and how technology does have a negative impact. I really like all the clips used actually show technology attachment.