My birthday has almost always fallen on the first day of school. On my 5th birthday, I started kindergarten. On my 18th birthday, I moved out of my parents' homes and into college.  I turned 21 a little over 2 weeks ago; I got to bring my friends to my hometown and take them to the precious cocktail bars lining 2nd Avenue in Birmingham; and the next day, I flew out to orientation for my YAV year: my first big girl job. 

There is something so incredibly special about getting to really feel older on your birthday. It's a fantastic icebreaker when meeting new people, something the Leo in me has always reveled in. There's another something stressful in not having buffer time to get used to getting older. 

My friend's friend's grandfather has a saying: "Breathe in Jesus, breathe out peace." In national orientation, this saying was something that resurfaced through each Bible study. In the course of two weeks, Matthew 6:25-34 was read to me on four separate occasions. As much as YAV organizers encourage us to let God's plan fall into place, a gap year program feels as if it's intended for me to worry about tomorrow. It's a year I've set aside to do amazing work, but also to apply to figure out my career path. But first, I have to get into grad school. First, I have to discern which schools I'm applying to: what's my top choice? What's my safety? What degree do I want? What do I want to do with my life? 

Breathe in Jesus, breathe out peace. "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" 

I've been getting winks all over that God has a plan for me. A friend I forgot was religious posted on Instagram this morning Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Breathe in Jesus, breathe out peace. 

God has a plan for me; that I trust. Can God tell me a little bit more about this plan? One of my goals for the YAV year is "listen to God's call" - what does God's call sound like? A ringing in my ears? A tingling in my toes that travels to the nape of my neck? What is God, and what is coincidence? Breathe in Jesus, breathe out peace. 

I've decided this is my motto for the year. Scrabble tiles spell this out on a letterboard, but I was missing 2 As and 3 Es. No stress - I grabbed my sharpie, flipped the Vs upside down, and drew a couple extra lines. BRVTHE IN JFSUS, BREATHL OUT PEVCL. Pobody's Nerfect. God calls me through a ringing in my ears the 4th time Claire calls back the Scrabbled spelling. 

Breathe in Jesus, breathe out peace. My ringer's on. I'd appreciate another call soon, God. 

I found out about the YAV program through my student ministry program at Tulane, the Labyrinth. The Labyrinth is always looking for ways to connect students to the greater New Orleans community. My congregation had the amazing opportunity to worship in the garden at Okra Abbey. This is where I met Dan Wally, the director of the New Orleans YAV site and two of the 2024-2025 YAVs, Luke and Robbie. This came at the perfect time. With graduation looming, my B.S. in Psych, Public Health, and Gender Studies didn’t seem helpful in moving forward career-wise under this administration. Throughout my college experience, I had completed Public Health work in Sexual Health and Wellness. My senior year, two of the three projects I was working on had their funding stripped and cease orders sent to PIs. The third project was safe because of its conclusion in early February, only a couple weeks after the inauguration.

While watching bill after bill pass, each violating the rights of myself and those who surround me, I thought about the role I wanted to play as an activist. I know that my strength is in support. Since I was young, I knew that my career certainly involved promoting wellness through one-on-one conversations. After not being raised Christian, I feel that a good role career path me would be in pastoral and ministry work. This would allow me to be an activist through providing support to my congregation. Pastoral work is able to combine my passions included in my degree through the promotion of congregant wellness, the individual relationships with each congregant, resources shared among community, endless opportunities for non-profit work and community service, and more.

Worship at Okra Abbey came at the perfect time. I needed a gap year after pushing hard to graduate in three years; and I needed to learn more about pastoral work to explore this new dream of mine. New Orleans grew dear to my heart in the three years I’ve been here, and I am delighted to stay. I’m looking for graduate schools in New Orleans as well. I committed myself to the YAV year only a few weeks after worshipping with the 2024-2025 New Orleans YAVs, though I am still in the discernment period.

The board at PCUSA graciously allowed for me to sublet from the YAV house for June and July, so I don’t have to rent a storage unit for the things I have in New Orleans or move them back to Birmingham for the summer. The waiting period feels odd, and I am excited to be living in a full house.

The discernment period is long and careful. This involves the formation of a house covenant, roommate selections, and most importantly, community partners. I am interviewing with 3 community partners in New Orleans: The Labyrinth, St. George’s Episcopal, and Silence Broken. I’m excited to learn more about the mission of these programs and my potential roles in achieving them as I continue my discernment and start my YAV year.