Chapter 16

The world had stopped that night.

As Ryan and Danielle came and went, rotating through tests and maintaining Amber’s fragile stability, Jacob could only sit in dreading silence. He sat across from his sister’s too-still body, watching the rise and fall of her breaths as proof she was still alive.

The frail and broken girl before him hardly resembled his sister. Everything that defined her, her confidence, inherent strength, and stubborn defiance, was replaced by silence. His mind kept bringing him back to the woods, how his hastily thrown-on armor weighed at him as he searched for her. When he had finally caught a glimpse of her slumped body in the darkness, he had thought she was dead.

His fingers itched to hold her hand in his, to reach across the chasm between them and heal what was broken. But his hands stayed pressed together before him, and hers remained limp at her sides. He squeezed his eyes shut, his breath trembling as he breathed in. Amber’s last cry for help continued to echo through his mind with all of its pain and intensity, shouting above the droning voices that never left him alone.

I’m sorry, he blinked as his eyes burned with tears. I was too late. I shouldn’t have let my guard down, then you would- you wouldn’t… He couldn’t finish that thought. It was only days ago that Amber had called him about their mother, and now he was watching her slip away before his very eyes.

He had witnessed many die in his life, each of them different. Most had been struck down in violence, some pleading for their lives, many fighting in vain of their fate. Most had been people he knew, some had been his friends, and now, it was her.

A million ‘if only’s coursed through him, twisting at his conscience and tormenting his soul. Their last true meeting flashed behind his eyes, the burn scar on his neck hot from the memory of her hand searing it into his skin: the shocked and disbelieving faces of their teammates around them, and Amber’s blazing red eyes as he was pressed into the wall. If she hadn’t been pried off of him, he never doubted that she could have killed him that day, and he would have let her.

He deserved it, along with all the hatred and anger she directed at him. That she would trust him in her plea at all made the guilt in his heart worse.

Jacob reopened his eyes, peeking through the longer locks that covered his forehead to watch as Ryan moved forward to look at something under the microscope while Danielle stepped aside with a nod, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.

He watched as his friend glanced over the sample for several seconds before slowly pulling away, his back and shoulders tight. Ryan whispered something to her, his face grim.

Jacob’s arms fell slack, falling apart to hit the edge of the cot. Each of Danielle’s retreating footsteps pounded in his ears, a heavy breath wracking his body. His gaze dragged back to Amber’s pale face; so still.

“She’s going to die,” Jacob could hardly identify his own voice, devoid of any feeling. “Isn’t she?”

Ryan didn’t turn, his face bowed toward the floor. “Not for sure,” he murmured.

“But likely,” he confirmed. It wasn’t a question; it couldn’t be. “What did you find?”

Ryan’s shoulders tensed, the air thick with anticipation. “I need to get a third opinion before-”

“Just tell me.” Jacob shot to his feet, his weak and trembling muscles holding him in place. His fists clenched at the voice in the back of his mind telling him to force the answer out of him. He ignored it. Despite everything, he could not fall back and lose control. “I need to know.”

Ryan finally turned to look at him; his silver eyes clouded with inner conflict. He sucked in a breath and opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it again. The two remained still for a moment in a standoff, neither knowing how to proceed.

Seconds ticked by before Ryan crumbled, releasing a long breath before straightening his back to face Jacob again. “I- I need to confirm that I’m not making a huge mistake here, or if I’m crazy, or just stupid. Now would be a great time for Elaine to come tell me how stupid I am.” His face pulled tight in a strained smile. “I won’t be offended! I’m young, and young people make mistakes. It’s a fact of life, and this could qualify, right?”

Jacob’s heart only sank more as he watched his friend try and pull it back together in front of him. With his limited knowledge of medical stuff from listening to Ryan over the years, he tried to think of anything that would cause such a reaction.

There was nothing.

Jacob sank back to sit on the edge of the cot, his eyes falling to look at his sister while Ryan continued to mutter to himself.

“Wait!” He looked up at Ryan’s outburst, being met with an expression of alarm. “You need to go home now. You can’t stay here.”

Jacob stared blankly at him for a second. “I don’t care what is going on,” he forced out. “I am not leaving my sister to die alone.”

Ryan’s wide eyes flared with a second wave of panic, and his feet burst into motion as he paced in a tight circle. “I understand that,” he rushed out. “But I need you to go until we at least find out what is going on.” He stopped, forcing his voice to steady and slow to a more normal pace. “And I don’t need you ending up in one of these beds after passing out from exhaustion.”

“You think I’ll be able to sleep if I leave?” Jacob retorted, not budging from his place beside her.

“No, but it will be better if you do.”

“I can’t just leave her like this!” He choked, eyes pleading with Ryan.

Ryan paused, collecting himself before trying again. “Okay, you don’t have to sleep,” he reasoned, though openly winced at his own agreeance. “But who is going to tell Elaine?”

Her name was like a shock of lightning. Reality was unfolding like a vivid and never-ending nightmare as each factor presented itself. He would need to be the one to tell Elaine. He and Amber were the only ones she truly had left, and now he didn’t even know whether he was still on that short list. He realized that he had no idea what this news could do to her. She was already at her breaking point, any more and he genuinely feared for her reaction to the news.

“So you need to go home and tell them what is going on,” Ryan’s voice cut into his thoughts. “And I will do what I can to keep her stable and learn more about what we can do. Okay?”

Jacob nodded numbly, his face falling to look at the dark boards of the floor, eyes darting along the lines of the grain as he thought of what he could possibly say once morning came. Already, he swore he could hear the chirping of birds outside, signaling the coming dawn.

“Just tell me one thing,” Jacob swallowed, not raising his gaze. “Why she’s like this; is it because someone did this to her?”

After a moment of silence, Jacob lifted his head to look back at Ryan. “No.” The word struck Jacob quietly, and despite Ryan’s conviction in it, doubt lingered. His initial hesitation hung in the air between them, despite being broken. At that moment, however, Jacob could only give a single nod.

“Okay,” he nodded, pushing himself back up. He cast one last look at Amber, taking slow steps away from her. Each step felt like he was tearing himself apart further, as though he were leaving a piece of himself in that room to die with her. At the door, he paused again. “Ryan,” he called back to his friend who lifted his head from checking Amber’s vitals once again. “Please,” his voice cracked, but he continued. “Just do everything you can.”

Ryan gave a nod and Jacob fled the room, leaving before he lost the courage to go at all. Helpless, this was all he could do.

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Ryan slumped in relief as the door clicked shut behind Jacob; a minute relief, but one all the same. His heart still pounded in his chest, his mind spinning from his suspicion that he had only one stop to confirm. He could only thank whatever deity for Jacob not forcing the answer out of him.

Quickly, he checked over Amber, verifying she was stable, before stopping by the office to inform Danielle where he was going. Still in his nightwear and sans shoes, he once again ventured out into the night. Though, this time, he followed the paths leading to the residential side of the grounds. He moved quickly, sure that after his activities that night, he would have at least a few cuts on his feet, but considering the circumstances, he did not care in the least.

When he reached the familiar gray house beyond the gnarled tree that made a nearly right angle over the path, he unlocked the door and stepped into the dark entryway. “Naesa!” He called out loudly to his mom, flicking on the lights. “Naesa, I need you!”

Down the hall, he could hear the rustle of someone moving before his mom’s short, blonde figure shuffled into sight. “Na oh hanoki?” She grumbled out, blinking her blurred, sightless silver eyes in the light.

“Naesa, I need your help,” Ryan caught his breath as his mom woke up more. “I think Amber was exposed to Doxar blood.”

“What?” She was wide awake now, her hand shooting out to stabilize herself against the wall as she stumbled. “No, that’s impossible.”

“That’s what I thought,” he shook his head, his restless feet beginning to pace in the entrance to the house. “But all the symptoms match, and I saw the parasites in her blood myself. It’s still really early, we found her maybe three hours ago, so the advanced symptoms haven’t started yet, but her pupils are fully dilated, she has body tremors, unconscious, probably confused considering she wandered into the woods in the middle of the night-”

“There hadn’t been a Doxar outbreak in the fifty years before we left the homeland,” his mom soothed, though it did little to ease his panic. “I understand your concern for your friend, and it’s definitely serious, but maybe what you saw just resembled them.”

“I don’t know how it got here,” Ryan insisted. “But either I’ve lost my mind completely, or we are facing a potential epidemic. I had Danielle look too, to see if I was wrong, and I also had her check the record book to make sure we weren’t both crazy. Of course, we might be, and that would be a better explanation and situation-”

“Stop,” his mom held up a hand. “Let’s just sit down for a moment and breathe. I’m going to make some coffee so I’m more awake for this conversation.”

Ryan held back a sigh of frustration as she disappeared into the kitchen, moving to sit on the floor by the table, tapping his hands against his knees as the minutes ticked by. His body itched to move, sitting and waiting was the literal last thing he wanted to do in this situation.

Eventually, his mom entered the room with her steaming cup of coffee, settling down on the floor across from him with a grunt. She took a long sip and cleared her throat. “Doxar were found along the northwest border of the Nirshorn territory on Ariya,” his mom began calmly. “First, they were reclusive and rarely came into contact with our people in the first place.”

“I know-”

“Second,” she interrupted, holding up her hand for him to wait. “There have only been four outbreaks on record in our history, the last being seventy or eighty years ago, and it was quelled rather quickly.”

“I know that-”

“Third,” her voice held a warning as she cut him off yet again. “We have not been on Ariya, where Doxar are, in thirteen years. In that time, we have had no cases of someone having an infection from before leaving, nor running into any Doxar on Earth, where we are right now. A different planet.”

“I know that Naesa,” Ryan rushed out before she could stop him. “I can’t tell you how it got here, but it is, and Amber is dying! I don’t know how to help her with this, I need you to help me!”

“There are several things that could cause the symptoms you described to me,” his mom continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “Even a brain injury could explain a lot of it-”

“But not the blood parasites,” Ryan interjected. “I saw them. You can’t forget that! You don’t know how much I want to be wrong, but I can’t explain that away.”

“Rithzi,” Ryan shifted at the sound of his actual name while his mom sighed. “I understand that you’re worried about your friend. You’ve been under a lot of stress too with all the changes happening in your observance and worrying about Jacob coming back.”

“You think I’m overblowing this,” Ryan’s heart sank.

“I think you saw your friend in pain and sick, and your mind went to the worst-case scenario,” her soft and gentle voice only made him more agitated, as it was almost like he was a young child being told his nightmare wasn’t real. “It happens to all of us, especially because we see those cases come through sometimes. We have to be on the lookout, but usually, it’s not a worst-case situation.”

“Usually, but what if this time it is?” Ryan challenged.

“I would say that first, you need to rule out all of the other things it could be,” she told him as if he hadn’t already done that. “But in this case, this illness would already be rare, and this time we are on a different planet. It’s impossible.”

“Fine,” Ryan clenched his fists in his lap. “I can rule out other things that could cause this. I have ruled out a few already, but what then? What if I look at other things more, and Amber is still dying from Doxar blood exposure?”

“That’s not p-”

“What if it’s not impossible?!” Ryan squeezed his eyes shut as he asked the question. “What if I am right? I saw the parasites with my own eyes. What if I'm not wrong? What do I do then? How can I treat her? What did they use to cure people during the last outbreak?”

The room was quiet for a moment as she thought. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “A lot of those records were left behind, but you can see if any were recovered or if it’s mentioned in the identification book.”

Ryan dropped his head with a heavy exhale, he was still for a moment before lifting his gaze back to his mom, her brows furrowed in concern. “I’ll find a way,” he said, unsure whether he was saying it to her or himself. “We’ll find a way. There is a way, we just need to find it.”

“If you are right,” she allowed, her sorrowful eyes finding him carefully. “Just be prepared for the possibility that you won’t be able to find it in time.”

“No,” Ryan stood, determination overtaking the fear. “We will find it in time, and I will save her and anyone else it could infect.”

“You should still prepare yourself for the possibility that you won’t find anything.”

“I won’t need to,” he insisted, fists tightening at his sides in conviction. “We’ll find a way. Our survival depends on it.”

She didn’t say anything, but her hesitation hung in the air between them. “Just be careful,” she reminded him.

“When am I?” He shrugged as he turned to the door.

“Don’t do anything crazy,” she called after him.

“You know I will,” he called back, a smirk tugging at his lips.

“Don’t forget to take care of yourself,” her voice reached him as his hand hit the door handle.

“You know I won’t,” he stated gleefully. “There are more important things to do.”

The sound of the front door slamming shut behind him left Mesriala sitting alone with her coffee at the brink of dawn with a heavy heart, releasing a sigh at her son’s antics before taking a long drink.

____________________________

Cameron was up at dawn. At first glance, it appeared to be like any other day with the morning mist still hanging in the spring air as birds sang to each other, golden and orange rays blending with pinks and reds in the sky, yet underneath the peaceful exterior, unrest was twisting around him.

Something wasn’t quite right. Something dark had reared its head, and now the scent of impending death had made its way to him. Even alone in his room, he was on edge, eyes darting about, calculating. The presence followed him as he descended the stairs, in fact, it seemed to grow stronger as he reached the ground floor, eyeing the front doors before turning to go to the kitchen, stopping short at the slumped figure on the couch in the lounge.

Jacob was sitting upright, his arms folded across his chest with his head bowed, dressed in hastily thrown-on battle armor. Even as Cameron took a few cautious steps forward, Jacob didn’t move. The steady rise and fall of his chest told Cameron that he wasn’t dead, relieving his short panic.

Admittedly, the sight had not been particularly unusual when Jacob had lived with them before, though Cameron had gotten the impression that Jacob had stopped the hunting missions his father had sent him on when he returned. Not to mention that Jacob had not been quiet about his plans the previous night to train Annamarie, leaving no time for him to leave the academy.

Slowly, he continued to approach his younger teammate, stopping as Jacob suddenly lifted his head, meeting his empty golden eyes. “What am I going to do?” he droned out.

Cameron hesitated, unsure whether the question was directed at him or not. Slowly, he moved to sit across from him, watching Jacob closely as he once again appeared to drift into his own thoughts.

“I have to tell her,” the murmur was so quiet that Cameron had to strain to hear it. “But I don’t know how. She won’t even talk to me, how am I supposed to tell her?” Jacob’s gaze found him again, this time pleading for an answer.

“Tell who what?” He shifted in his seat uncomfortably, glancing around the room as Jacob continued to watch him with a heavy gaze.

Seconds passed by, Jacob’s eyes falling back to the floor as the two sat in silence, his arms hugging himself tighter as thoughts flew behind his eyes. Cameron could do little but sit with him, he was hardly one to talk about this type of thing, nor was he particularly good at comforting anyone.

“Adara,” Jacob uttered his sister’s name, staring blankly at the wall. “Is going to die.”

Cameron’s eyes widened, freezing in his seat as his heart jolted in his chest. “What?” He demanded in a whisper, his hands gripping the edge of the couch where they rested to ground himself as he was sent reeling by those five words.

Jacob didn’t even seem to notice his reaction as he nodded, sucking in a breath. “I found her last night,” he continued. “Ryan got her stable, but- but she’s- she’s hardly there.”

Cameron’s breath shook as he stared at him, unsure whether he was waiting for him to continue talking or not. Questions fired off in his mind; all of them stopped as his throat refused to speak, seized into silence by what he was hearing.

“Elaine doesn’t know,” Jacob finally looked back at him, barely seeing him. “I need to tell her, but how can I?” He lamented to himself.

Cameron’s hands tightened for a moment before he regained control of his breathing and himself, releasing his grip on the couch. Composing himself, he placed his hands on his knees and focused on breathing normally. He could return to his own feelings on this matter later when he was alone. At that moment, in the middle of their shared space, in front of Amber’s grieving brother, it was not the time.

“Just tell her how it happened,” Cameron said, looking away from Jacob, focusing on the shadows splayed over the dark floor. “Don’t tell her like you just told me.” He closed his eyes as he ignored the hollow pain beginning to bleed from the crack in his chest.

“Like it happened,” Jacob repeated. “I should, shouldn’t I?”

Cameron looked back at his teammate, giving a nod.

Jacob looked up, as though he could see his sister through the ceiling. “How long until she wakes up?” He wondered, seemingly to no one at all.

“Don’t wait until she comes down,” Cameron told him. “Even if she’s still asleep, you need to go tell her now. It’s worse to be ambushed than woken with a purpose.”

“It is,” Jacob agreed softly, lingering for a moment before pushing himself up. He stood, sucking in a long breath before letting it back out, and made his way to the stairwell.

Cameron watched him go, still in his seat. As soon as he was no longer visible, he released his breath, allowing himself to sink into himself for just a moment before the rest of the world woke up and he had to be ready to support the two members of their team who would need it most.

He needed to know more about what happened, but Jacob was clearly in no state to inform him. He would just have to wait and set aside his own feelings on the matter, finding out more as it came. He knew that he couldn’t go see Amber, so he would have to wait until Ryan returned to gain more insight into what happened and whether there was anything that could be done. Soon, he would need to prepare food for the team since they would be too preoccupied to do so themselves before going on to take over Jacob’s leadership responsibilities once again. He wouldn’t allow himself to crumble.

Once day came, he would do what he could, never allowing his feelings to slip free, but for now, in the silence and solitude of dawn, he could admit it to himself.

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Elaine woke at the brush of a hand pushing the curtains of her bed open and the sinking of her mattress as someone leaned over to gently shake her awake. She grumbled as she blinked open her eyes that threatened to close again, but sat up as she recognized her brother perched on the side of her bed.

His hand fell limply back to his side, his eyes dull as he looked at her. Glancing her eyes across him, she could feel her heart begin to pick up in her chest at his attire and slouched form.

“Ria,” he swallowed, his voice weak as his gaze burned into hers. “Last night, Adara-”

“No!” She blurted, slamming her eyes shut as if it could end this nightmare before her. She felt his trembling hand wrap around hers where she gripped the blanket, holding onto her.

“Just listen,” his voice wavered, but he continued. “Adara collapsed last night. We got her to the center, and she’s alive.” She opened her eyes and met his, watching him as he paused as if she could find answers if she looked deep enough. But she didn’t know if they were answers she’d want to hear. “But I’m afraid,” he admitted, his grip on her tightening. “She’s- she’s not okay,” he looked down, swallowing hard. “I don’t know if she can win this.”

She pushed herself up to a sitting position, staring at their hands as she tried to comprehend what she was hearing, nausea beginning to stir within her.

“I don’t know what to do,” Jacob continued. “I don’t know what’s happening to her, or if anything can be done. I wish I could tell you that it will be okay, but I can’t do that.” She felt him watching her for a reaction, but none came as she remained still. “I know I’m the last person you should want with you right now. I wouldn’t want to be left with me either. I can’t tell you that it will be okay,” he repeated. “But I will stay by your side this time.” His voice cracked and she looked back at him. “I’ve made mistakes that I can never take back,” his shaking grip on her hand tightened further to be almost painful, but she didn’t react, watching him carefully. “I’ll never get that time back, but this time I can make the right decisions.” In his eyes, through the despair, she could see a dim flicker of determination. Behind his fear and instinct to run and break down, it burned. “I’ll stay with you, and we’ll figure this out together.”

It was that sincerity, peaking through his facades of self-preservation that gave her a glimpse of hope as the world lay in ruin. Not trusting her voice, she freed her hand from his, watching his eyes dim before she flipped it to hold his back.

She lowered her eyes, unable to continue holding his gaze. The two just sat in silence, finding comfort with just their presence as uncertainty and grief wound around them. She couldn’t forgive him, but she didn’t want to keep pushing him away when he was the only one left with her in this cruel world.