Chapter 14

Jacob lingered outside the door leading to the practice room, his hand resting on the carved wood. Elaine was inside; the rhythmic hits of her throwing daggers on the target repeating every minute or so. As long as he had stood there, she had done seven reps.

He had felt her anger and seen her hurt, yet his feet refused to take the last step forward. She had sat with him into the night, but since he had returned to the observance the day prior, she had hardly stated a word beyond their less-than-impactful meeting. In fact, she had spent most of the evening in the same position she was in now.

It made his skin crawl. Elaine had always been someone to address her frustrations with nonexistent hesitation. In the countless disagreements, they had had over the years, probably too many of them had ended with a physical fight and time spent in the healing center afterward. He knew that number was lower with Amber, but definitely not zero either.

He wanted to joke about how she could have been plotting his careful murder, but at this point, he wasn’t sure if it was a joke. He’d rather resolve this like they had all their other conflicts: with weapons clashing together until they were both too exhausted to do any more harm.

He sucked in his breath, steadying himself before he pushed the door open. She was exactly where he predicted, three knives already lodged into the featureless target rolled out in front of her. She was prepping her next batch, rocking on her heels as she calculated her next angle.

She didn’t acknowledge his presence, but her shoulders stiffened in his presence. As he stepped further into the room, allowing the door to swing shut behind him, his heart began to pound faster, echoing in his ears.

A thud rang through the room, rapidly followed by a second as she whipped another forward in her second hand. Her pale eyes glanced at him from the corner of her eye, but her expression didn’t change, nor did she move.

He took in a breath, preparing to speak-

“Don’t,” her growl startled him as she reached to grab another blade from where they hung on her belt.

“I’m sorry,” he offered anyway, internally wincing at his pathetic attempt.

“You’ve already said that.” Thud.

“I never meant for this to happen,” he swallowed, his hand sweeping through his hair nervously. “I wouldn’t have left if I’d known.”

Thud.

“I was a coward; I didn’t think it through, and I should have. I never imagined-” he broke off. “I’m sorry.”

She released her last blade, the resulting thud resonating in his head. Her muscles flexed as she moved to collect her blades, jaw locked. After she had gathered all eight, she repositioned herself to start again.

Thud.

“I regret not coming home when I should have,” he murmured, just loud enough for her to hear. “I regret it all, Ria, I-”

While he had expected another thud, a clatter interrupted his thoughts as Elaine outright missed. The knife bounced off the side of the target, skidding across the stone floor before wobbling to a stop.

She, herself, had finally whirled to face him, blazing eyes cutting into him. “Your lies may work on them, but you of all people should know how pointless they are.” She sneered, and Jacob had to force himself not to look at the knife currently gripped in her hand, pointing at him as she glared. “Even if we can’t all read minds, you think I can’t see when you’re lying through your teeth? Stop with that shit!” She twisted as she hurled the last knife, thankfully toward the target.

He flinched as it landed, refusing to look at it while she turned her icy gaze back on him. She loomed over him, a tingling fear flooding his veins as the reality of her fury was becoming more than a budding realization.

“I don’t care if you ‘found yourself’ or ‘grew as a person’ or whatever else while you were on your little adventure,” she hissed through her teeth, eyes like chips of white flame. “You are a coward who would rather run when pain tries to tear you apart. We lost Roselle because of Mark, but it was you that tore apart our team and our family.”

Jacob sucked in a broken breath, stepping back as his mother’s face flashed in his mind. He suppressed a shiver; the temperature had dropped ten degrees from what it had been.

“Don’t ever say you regret anything you did,” Elaine’s voice had suddenly grown quiet, which was decidedly worse than her berating him. “Because you only ever regret the consequences.”

It was like the air had been punched out of his gut as he stood frozen, staring dumbly at his sister.

“For years, you’ve whined about your mistakes and how sorry you are,” she shook her head in disbelief. “But I’ve never seen you do anything to fix them. You’ve only become more and more like Father.”

“I am not like Father,” Jacob sprung to life, his heart flipping in his chest at the accusation.

She leaned closer, her nostrils flaring. “Then act like it.”

He watched her leave; abandoning her knives that were still across the room. An unfamiliar clangor made him jump, only to find Seniar’s gift rolling to a stop from where Elaine had dropped it.

He retrieved the concealed weapon, pressing it into his hand, the sting of the cold metal biting his skin. The room had begun to warm, but his insides remained frozen as his mind replayed what had just happened. Her words hung in the air under the scaling ceiling. Through the windows, he could see the darkening sky as clouds rolled in to cover the morning sky.

Jacob strolled over to the glass, looking out into the trees. He folded his arms, releasing a slow breath. Elaine was right; he only had three regrets.

And he would never admit them to anyone.

____________________________

Ryan twisted in the passenger seat to look back at the boy in the back seat. “You ready?” He prompted, his seatbelt straining against his shoulder. His call was probably too loud, even with the monotonous drone of the car as they hurdled toward the city limits.

Ben was sitting with his legs bent to the side to fit behind Amber as she silently drove, the small sedan just large enough to hold the three of them and their unwitting passenger. Ben had been strangely quiet the entire ride, not even saying a word before Kesritae had begrudgingly given them the keys to her car. “Sure,” the response was surprisingly nonchalant and detached.

Ryan raised an eyebrow, it disappearing into the blond hair that swept across his forehead. He glanced at Amber, her eyes locked on the road ahead, then back to the boy, intrigued. “How’re you faring with the move?”

“Fine,” the one-word answer was uttered before Ben turned to gaze out the window at the forested neighborhoods they passed.

Ryan felt a curious grin ticking across his face, turning back to face forward. “Ready to get back into action?” He asked Amber, tilting his head with his eyes tracking the path of a raptor too far away to identify.

“Not much action here,” her dark eyes darted to him for a split second. “You know I didn’t expect my act of sticking it to Maishear to be driving into town to pick up a kid from school.”

“You never know,” He stretched his arms out before him, feeling his shoulder pop as he did so. “Last time we had a load of fun.” He swung his head to face her.

She pursed her lips with a hum, tapping her fingers lightly on the steering wheel. “It sure looked like you did.” She cleared her throat quietly. “At least I’m off house arrest for a couple of hours.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “You have to put it that way, don’t you?”

“What other way is there?” she shrugged, face impassive. “He forbade me from leaving, shut me out of inter-observance intel, and won’t even let me watch that giant gate of his. You could call it something else, but it’s really a hard sell to make.”

“You’re here though,” Ryan pointed out. “You didn’t have to break through bars or fight the army to drive away. This has to be at least somewhat appealing, considering that you actually woke up early without wanting to kill somebody.”

“See it how you please, I’m here because Cameron asked me to be,” she returned, reaching up to smooth her already tight ponytail. “I agonized over whether I should help out your little issue,” she drawled. “Waking up at four, defying the all-powerful and ever so wise headmaster, spending over thirty minutes with you- in a car to boot…” Sarcasm rang through her droning words. “I wondered if I, the perfect golden child, would have the courage to defy everything I stand for. But then I remembered how you all would worship me when I lead and taught all of you; giving me food, offering favors, and telling me how wonderful I am. Besides, it gives me the perfect opportunity to welcome my beloved brother home while he’s not drooling onto himself.”

Ryan covered his laugh with a cough, ignoring the bitter tone of the last part of what she said. In the back seat, he could see how Ben had turned away from the window to stare ahead in concern. “If you’re looking for something from me,” Ryan remarked. “You know I hate to disappoint you, but you have to take it up with Cameron.”

“Oh no!” She gasped mockingly. “What makes you think I’d expect anything from you all? After all, I’m doing this from the kindness in my heart. To say such a thing is an insult to my integrity. But if I asked, what do you think he’d do for me?” Her voice dropped back down from the high tone she had been using.

“I don’t know,” Ryan threw his hands in the air as he slouched in the seat. “I can’t read his mind, I don’t think I want to either. He needs to take a chill pill and maybe find someone special to spend time with rather than study and practice all the time.”

“Maybe I could get him to do my dishes for a month,” Amber mused as though he hadn’t spoken. “But then again, he likes doing that, so that’s not going to work.”

“Laundry?” Ryan suggested.

“No,” Amber shook her head as they slowed for a red light. “He’d like that too; besides, he’d just read or something while it’s running.” The car was silent for a minute before a slap on the steering wheel made Ryan jolt up in his seat. “I could make him rearrange our furniture!” She exclaimed proudly. “It just feels like it could be better than it is right now.”

“I’d love to see the look on his face when you use that reasoning with him.” A mental picture of Cameron dragging a couch with an exasperated expression was too good to pass on. “Can I be there?”

“Sure,” Amber craned her neck as they slowed, the signal to turn left onto the road that lead past the school sounded louder than it should have as they waited for oncoming cars to pass by. In the back seat, Ben had shifted to sit upright, his eyes locked on where the building loomed on the other side of the open field that wore the scars of their struggle.

“So strange to be back,” Ryan commented, watching the other boy with a spark in his eye.

“They already have security out,” Amber murmured as she made the turn, her eyes narrowed at the distant figures standing post along the walkway before the building.

Ryan leaned forward, bracing himself on his knee as they continued closer, the figures growing clearer. “No,” he almost scoffed in disbelief. “Those are teachers. Aren’t they?” He looked back; a nod confirming his suspicion. “How predictable they are.”

“I’ll bet you there’s more security inside,” Amber shook her head, voice distant in thought.

“How much?” Ryan smirked. “So which way now?”

“Cameron said the second right,” she said as she slowed once again, Ryan watching as a teacher outside watched their car from her place on the sidewalk. “By now, the kid should be on his way.”

“Who are we picking up?” Ben’s question made Ryan twist back, surprised at his utterance. The car turned, now heading down a winding residential street.

“Some twelve-year-old named Evan,” Ryan watched as Ben’s face immediately soured, his dark blue eyes dimming in what could only be described as an irritated distaste. “Such a strange choice for a name,” he went on, directing his thoughts to no one in particular. “Why would you choose a name that sounds so similar to ivahn? It means hatred.” He added for Ben’s benefit.

A mutter in the back made Ryan’s eyebrows shoot up, as it sounded like the quiet, seemingly meek boy had said: maybe because everyone hates him. A snicker bubbled up in his chest as a glimmer of understanding at how the shy boy got along with the quick-tempered Rachel pecked at the edge of his mind.

“You’re not going to do anything stupid, are you?” Amber asked.

“You tell me,” Ryan’s eyes pinpointed a curly-haired boy heading toward them ahead. 

Amber sighed as she pulled the car over to park along the curb.

Before the car had stopped completely, Ryan had opened his door and had his foot placed on the grassy boulevard. “You!” He exclaimed, pointing at the kid.

The beginning of Amber’s protest was cut off by Ryan slamming the door behind him. Meanwhile, the boy had frozen in his tracks, his wide blue eyes staring at him in a manner that could only be described as amusingly confused.

“Yes, you,” Ryan narrowed his eyes at the kid, exaggerating a glimpse over him, his eyes ending on the heap of curls atop his head. “Curly… boy. Yes, I have a proposal for you.”

“Um,” Evan stared at him in slight horror. “Who are you?”

“Yes, an adventure, great and grand and marvelous where you will discover the world and grow as a person and all that stuff. What do you say?”

“I-” the boy blinked. “I don’t know you.”

“Of course, you want to come, just as any reasonable dude would. Great choice, but don’t you want to know what the adventure is first?” Ryan driveled on despite himself.

“What adventure?” Evan sputtered. “Who are you?”

“Oh!” Ryan gasped. “Did I forget to introduce myself? My apologies. I am Ryan Clarsoni, the magnificent ambassador of my people, the great and noble Hecathian institute of boring things and amazing warriors- not really. I am here to formally invite you to witness glory and possibly become as amazing as I am.”

He swore he could hear Amber cursing his name from inside the car, a thump telling him she had most likely slammed her head into the steering wheel again.

Evan’s eyes darted to the commotion, his face tight with the most unadulterated confusion Ryan had ever seen.

“I know,” he reassured the boy. “It’s a little overwhelming to be in my presence, and please, don’t mind the help. She just gets carried away after being in my presence for so long. So, what do you say?”

“You’re a moron,” Evan’s face was a solidified cringe. “Why are you really here?”

“Oh, the invite part was true,” Ryan nodded without pause. “And while I am awesome, I am only a representative of the Hecathian Academy, and I am here to help you rediscover the truth about your past.”

“What if I already know my own past.”

“Then if not to discover, but live it.” Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Think about it; would you rather live as a human, never knowing what it was like to be who you truly are?”

Evan’s eyes narrowed, a small smirk playing on his lips. “And this academy will do that? Yeah right, and I’m a king and you’re the smartest person in the world.”

“Fine, don’t take my word for it,” Ryan shrugged. “But you’ll always remember this moment, and think about how you waved your freedom- true freedom, goodbye.” He turned, taking only one step before-

“Wait.”

Ryan grinned, schooling his face before he turned back to the boy.

____________________________

Anna didn’t know what she was supposed to be doing right now.

She was in the room that her hosts had brought her to the evening prior. It was bare beside the bed placed in a cutout of the wall, with sheer drapes separating it from the rest of the room. The walls had been painted a soft lilac, signalling that this had once been someone’s room.

She had spent most of the day with Ben and Rachel, sharing their dread at the arrival of Evan that morning. Rachel was clearly struggling to adapt to their new situation, practically gluing herself to Ben’s side after he returned from Rochester. It may have been surprising, but Anna didn’t feel out of place at all. Sure, it was probably her desensitization to big changes and being surrounded by strangers, but she had expected herself to have a bigger reaction considering the circumstances. She had even sat and had a long conversation with the young girl, Eleanor, about family and life after she had seen Anna unpack the bag her father had brought her.

Anna hadn’t left the observance building since she had moved there from the healing centre. For most of that day, the experienced team was out, popping in and out of the building as the sun made its path across the sky. She had explored the building, only slightly concerned by the number of weapons. What intrigued her most though, was why it was so empty. It had obviously housed more than those who remained, and the team that was left over hardly acted like what she would expect.

Dinner had been an awkward affair, with the albino girl, apparently Jacob’s sister, not even showing up. The rest of them had been subjected to Evan blathering on about who knew what. Anna had tuned him out after the first ten minutes. She considered herself a patient person, but the only person at the table who had remained completely composed was Cameron. The young man’s patience was saint-like. She didn’t know how he managed it.

It did bug her that Jacob hadn’t said a word to her since they had come to the academy. For all the chatting and following her to her classes that he had done in school, he sure dropped off fast as soon as he had accomplished his mission. She didn’t know what she had expected, but she could have sworn his strange attempts at friendship had felt more genuine.

It didn’t matter though.

He surely had other concerns to address if he had practically run away from home as she had gathered. He was also still grieving, and no doubt spending time with his family. The only time Anna had even seen Elaine was when they were introduced by Ryan. The girl hadn’t said a word but had simply stared down at her like she was rubbish. She was so different from Jacob as she had known him, but now Anna couldn’t help but wonder how much of it was an act.

She sighed, leaning down from her perch to pull her satchel closer. She found and pulled out her journal. She unclipped the pen, twirling it in her fingers as she debated what she should write.

She knew now that her mother was gone, not just from her life, but nothing more than a ghost. It wasn’t like she had ever imagined showing her letters to her hypothetically estranged mother, but the knowledge that she was writing to a memory, a memory that wasn’t even hers… she didn’t know what to think anymore.

She forgave her father for his deception. Was she still upset? Of course; but she couldn’t help but think that this reality made sense with what she had seen from her father. Anna had watched him silently suffer her entire life, haunted by memories he wouldn’t dare tell her until now. She knew he was telling the truth when he said that he wanted to protect her. It was all he had done since she could remember.

The tip of her pen hovered over the paper, the point just barely kissing the page. She had started writing them out of loneliness and longing after their lives were uprooted, and the few people that had been in her life were left behind. She had dreamed of what their family could have looked like, and what her relationship would have looked like with her mother.

She bit her lip, chewing on the sensitive skin. She pulled the pen back with a soft puff, dropping her head against her closed fist, suppressing a groan.

A soft knock on the door interrupted her inner conflict. She lifted her head, quickly flipping the journal closed. She swung her legs off the mattress and padded across the room. She opened the door, only slightly surprised to see Jacob waiting on the other side.

She blinked at him, taking in just how awful he looked. She had seen him only a couple of hours prior, during which he had at least appeared somewhat normal. Now, the dark circles were prominent under his bright eyes, his shoulders drawn tight to his ears, and his fingers tapping on the thighs of his jeans. He met her gaze immediately, and she could see his want to speak, but he only stood there.

“Hi,” she greeted, questioning.

“Hi,” he breathed, swallowing. His expression twitched, one hand raising to run through his hair. “I need to talk to you,” his nervousness faded slightly at his admission, giving way to an equally intense serious look that furrowed his eyebrows.

“Okay,” she prompted, her hand still gripping the doorknob.

“Can I come in?” His eyes darted side to side, a small, lopsided attempt at a smile darting across his features before it was gone again.

“Um,” she stammered, staring at him for a second before she nodded. “Sure,” she stepped back, holding the door wide so he could slip inside.

“How are you feeling?” Jacob asked as soon as she closed the door behind him, his gaze seeking hers.

“I’m fine,” she offered a small smile, her fingers instinctively brushing the newly shortened ends of her hair. “Adapting.”

His eyes tracked her fingers as she twisted a curl between them. “I see,” his tone was strangely curt, and he swallowed, lowering his face to the floor.

Anna waited for a moment, hovering in place by the door. “And you’re feeling better?” She cringed, lamenting her poor social skills.

“You could say that,” he looked back at her, a frown plastered on his face. “You talked with your father?”

“Yes,” Anna almost jumped at the question. “We talked.”

“How are you feeling about that?”

“How am I supposed to feel about it?” She couldn’t help the strained laugh that accompanied her answer. “I don’t even know what to think about it. It makes no sense, yet I’ve never understood my life more.” She shook her head.

He nodded, as though he understood. “How much…” he hesitated. “How much did your father tell you?”

“The attack,” she began slowly, her fingers gripping each other. “My mother, my sister, that his family didn’t accept us. Who he is.” Who he is. She didn’t really know who her father really was though, did she?

“Did he say anything about anyone else?” His golden stare was piercing.

“Yes,” she narrowed her eyes at him. “That he knows your father.”

“He didn’t say anything else?” Jacob pressed.

“Should he have?” She was suddenly even more unsure. Was it possible that her father still wasn’t telling her everything? After everything else he hadn’t disclosed, it wasn’t shocking, but it didn’t make the idea any less hurtful.

“No,” Jacob answered a little too quickly, suddenly avoiding her gaze.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” She pursed her lips, unease flooding through her as she watched him falter once again.

“Okay,” he sighed, his whole body drooping. “I don’t know how to put this, or how to explain it, but I just need you to listen, okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed, more eager to just get this conversation over with at this point.

“Some of the people here are really stuck in their beliefs and they hold the same views as your family did.” He started, slow and deliberate. “Which is why you, in particular, don’t have the same freedom here as the others. They will attend lessons and receive one on one training at the academy, but my father and his supporters are not approving you to do this.”

She blinked at him, confused.

“The first thing you need to know,” he continued. “Is that there are many people here who could be very dangerous if they find out who you are. Which is why you will be staying with us, and will be receiving your training here; starting with learning how to defend yourself.”

“What?” She had been listening, but comprehension was not coming easily.

“I will teach you how to protect yourself. You need to be able to fend for yourself, even if I’m there to protect you,” a flicker of a smirk played on his lips. “Everything else can wait.”

“Why?” She could help the question, though she felt a little ridiculous about asking it.

“It’s necessary,” his eyes were intense, blazing with what very much looked like concern. “I know too well what my father’s supporters are capable of.”

“But my father-”

“Is too trusting of mine, and not here.” Jacob cut her off. “Trust me.”

Anna didn’t know how to respond, her lips parted with the intent to speak, though no words came out.

He sighed. “That daemon,” he murmured. “It’s not the only one out there. What happened there could happen anywhere and any time.” His voice was grave and his eyes dark. “Whether anyone else is there or not, being able to defend yourself can save your life.” He lowered his focus to the white scars on her arm, letting it linger there as his point sunk in.

“Okay,” she whispered, but the smirk that played on his face told her he had heard it.

“Perfect,” he grinned. “We start now.”