WHAT WOULD A HOLY WOMAN DO?

In November of 2007 President Russell M. Nelson was asked to rededicate the remodeled temple in Tonga. His wife, Sister Wendy Watson Nelson, joined him on this special assignment. She told the following story about her experience there:

“In preparation for the rededication, we walked through the temple so my husband could assess if the remodeling had been completed as requested. Upon close inspection, everything looked perfect. However as we walked out of the temple, we noticed something was missing–something which would prevent the rededication of the temple. Specific words are placed upon every temple, written in the local language. The words are “House of the Lord, Holiness to the Lord.” However, on the Nuku-alofa Tonga Temple that day, those words were missing. My husband gently pointed out the omission, the vital words were placed, and the rededication occurred on schedule. Just imagine that without those words on the temple, it could not be dedicated to the Lord!

I started to wonder about holiness–the meaning of the word, the placement of those words. I wondered if I could ever be worthy to have those words placed upon my life. And if those words were placed on my life, what would that mean?”

As we focus on inviting an abundance of Christ and His power and gifts into our life, this question about holiness seems like an important one. We decided to follow the example of Sister Nelson and invite a handful of women in our stake to participate in a small experiment. We reached out to six women, all different ages and seasons of life, and extended the following invitation:

In thinking about how to learn about holiness, we are wondering if for three days you would be willing to, just once per day, purposely choose one of your daily activities and try to "be holy" while doing it or do it as a holy woman would do it. For example, how would a holy woman start her day? What would be on her “to do” list? How would she read to a child, or exercise? How would she interact with coworkers? How would she talk with a friend, or shop, or play, or pray, or do laundry? In other words, how would a "holy woman" do anything or everything?

We are grateful to the six women who were willing to accept this “holy woman invitation”. Here is some of what they did and what they learned: 

Two women chose to do laundry as a holy woman would. This effort looked different in both of their lives. Woman #1 chose to listen to scriptures as she performed this seemingly mundane task. But not just to listen to scriptures. She paid attention to the promptings and feelings she received while listening. Woman #2 found herself in prayers of gratitude: for family members who wear and dirty the clothes being cleaned, for the abundance of clothes, for a washing machine, running water, sewers, and a dryer. She also found herself praying for those family members who would wear the clothes, hoping that they would feel her love, like a hug, as they wore them.

One woman chose to focus on wearing the holy garment on her first day of the challenge. She said, “I approached this in a more meaningful way. Instead of just rushing to get dressed, I studied and pondered why I choose to wear the holy garment. As I did this, I remembered my experience going through the temple to receive my own endowment, remembering the covenants I've made. I learned that when I choose to wear the temple garment, I am choosing to put on Christ, to remember Him daily. Choosing to wear the garment is a physical way to show a deeper commitment to Christ.”

One woman focused on driving as a holy woman would. What would this look like? For her it meant choosing to be more intentional about what she listened to while driving, to make it a more holy experience. This led to a choice to listen to a Christ-centered podcast first, to fill her spiritual cup with faith-built principles. She found that this one choice led to better podcast choices throughout the day and more peace.

One of the women who accepted this invitation learned about the importance of striving; that it was more about effort than perfection with holiness. She explained that “the first day I tried harder than before to make sure I said all my prayers, was extra patient with my kids, added a CFM insight, and kept our home tidy. However, I realized I'm here to learn to do these things and that they do not all have to be perfectly done each day. I realize that in this current season of life with 2 toddlers and a new baby all I have to do is try my best and the grace of Heavenly Father will help me with the rest.”

Another woman chose to serve and love as a holy woman would. She asked for guidance and help in bringing comfort to a friend not of our faith who is dealing with a major trial. She asked for help in being a good listener. Throughout the week she noticed that as she was listening to this friend she was also more consciously listening to the Spirit. In her own words: “I am not always the best at pausing and taking a moment to listen, but this week, as I sought to give help, I took great comfort in the tiny, calming, helpful hints from the Lord.”

This focus on holiness led a different woman to also reach out to a friend. She explained, “As I was doing my morning devotional, I studied Elder Christofferson's talk, “The Testimony of Jesus”. The definition of valiant came up. My wonderful neighbor Stephanie came to my mind. She is a devout Catholic. She often collects backpacks, food or other things to help our needy neighbors. She also posts very positive messages on Facebook quite often. I posted on one of her messages my appreciation for her uplifting comments and for her being valiant.”

One woman chose to focus on viewing the Sabbath day through a holy lens, not just on Sunday but every day. This focus remained through the three days of the experiment and resulted in decisions about how to prepare for the Sabbath. In her own words: “I chose to make sure the house was clean so I could avoid unnecessary chores on the Sabbath Day. I will be honest, I realized while doing this that I had been getting into a routine of cleaning areas on Sunday that could have waited until Monday. I also meal prepped as much as I could to give extra meditation and family time for Sunday. On Sunday, my one focus was reverence during the actual Sacrament.”

Here is another woman’s description of her experience: “Ten years ago, in my early 30’s and with four young children at home, I was faced with health challenges that completely upended our lives and tested the strength of my faith and physical endurance to their very limits. During this struggle, I was scared that if I started to cry, I might not stop. So, I fortified my emotional defenses and stopped doing the things that might lead to a breakdown. Unfortunately, one of the things that I stopped doing at that time was praying out loud. Anytime I would start, the emotions would start up and my voice would start to quiver, and I would feel my resilience start to crack so I would quiet my voice and just pray in my heart. Somehow along the way this defensive tactic became a habit and now all of these years later I still do not say my personal prayers out loud. 

When I was asked to be a part of this Holy Woman experiment the thought came to me, “It’s time for you to start praying out loud when you’re alone. It’s time for you and I to come to an understanding.” I am ashamed to admit it, but I was pretty terrified. I even put it off for a few weeks, every day justifying that I had time to wait or that I was too tired or had too much going on. It wasn’t until the 10-year anniversary of the day that my health started to take a turn for the better that I finally had the courage to go to my closet, close the door, kneel, and have the conversation that Heavenly Father and I have needed to have for a long time. Yes, I cried. Yes, it was hard. But in hearing that prayer said out loud, I heard holiness coming from my broken voice. I heard reconciliation. And the gift that only time and a loving Father can give - perspective.” 

What did these women learn through this Holy Woman Experience?

•  “I felt a stronger desire to spend more time in the Temple.”

•  “I have come closer to my Savior, and it has changed me for the better. I have a strong testimony that we are always tremendously more blessed in relation to our efforts.” 

•  “I have learned that if I can do my daily activities in a more holy way, I will feel closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, deepening my relationship with Them.”

•  “Being a holy woman is still being example of Christ and living by the teachings of the gospel. But most importantly it is giving yourself grace as we try to achieve that. After all we're here on earth to learn and not just have it all figured out.”

•  “Holy Women pray with intent. They pray on their knees and are not afraid to be emotional or vulnerable. Holy Women pray so that Heavenly Father can hear their voice, even if that voice is scared or weak, or if the prayer is “Why?” Holy Women take the time to listen to what God wants to say to them and they are humble enough to soften their hearts to fully take in the answer. Holy Women then rise from their knees and do their best to be a little better that day than they were the day before.”

•  “The number one and most powerful thing I learned was, I could not turn my thoughts or actions to just being holy for the one activity I had assigned myself to for the experiment. Holiness wasn't something I could isolate to one activity, Holiness or being Holy became my filter for everything I did those three days and after.” 

Each woman was directed and taught by the Spirit as she considered “What would a holy woman do?” We can each have the same experience. In Doctrine & Covenants 46 the Lord says “Ye must practice…holiness before me” and then in Section 60 he teaches us that “I am able to make you holy”. We cannot become holy on our own. In the same section where Christ instructs us to practice holiness, He commands us to ask God for gifts of the Spirit which can help us become more holy. While some of these gifts are listed in Section 46, there are an innumerable number of gifts we can seek and ask for.

In discussing this, Sister Nelson has taught that “because of the Savior’s Atonement, we have access to spiritual gifts. The Savior has paid the price for all the gifts of the Spirit you will ever need in your life and throughout all eternity!” Your access to these gifts is given to you when you are confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Said another way, the gift of the Holy Ghost gives you access to the gifts of the Holy Ghost.

What spiritual gifts can help you to overcome your weaknesses and become more holy?

There are an endless number, but here are some examples:

•  The gift of a cheerful countenance.

•  The gift of patience.

•  The gift of learning.

•  The gift of self-discipline.

•  The gift of better time management.

•  The gift of positivity.

•  The gift of selflessness.

•  The gift of loving another, expecting nothing in return.

These gifts, and countless others, are available because of the Savior’s Infinite Atonement. They are right there, waiting to help us become more holy. President Nelson has promised that “we can acquire holiness only by enduring and persistent personal effort”. That effort will bring rewards, even the rewards of greater holiness and a life that is full of the Spirit and Christ’s character reflected in our own. That sounds a lot like an abundance, just as Christ promised us in John 10:10. We only need to choose to invite Him in.

Sisters, we finish where we began. What would it look like if the words “holiness to the Lord” were placed on your heart and life? We invite you to participate in your own Holy Woman challenge in the month of November. If, for just three days, you took this challenge, what would you learn? What would you do? How different would your days unfold if in both the average and difficult situations you encounter you asked yourself “What would a holy woman do?"

His Word: Cali Black

President Nelson has promised that “the truths of the Book of Mormon have the power to heal, comfort, restore, succor, strengthen, console, and cheer our souls…as you prayerfully study the Book of Mormon every day, you will make better decisions —every day. I promise that as you ponder what you study, the windows of heaven will open, and you will receive answers to your own questions and direction for your own life. I promise that as you daily immerse yourself in the Book of Mormon, you can be immunized against the evils of the day”. These are promises that we all desire, but the busyness and distraction of life can sometimes “hedge up our way” as we pursue them. What are some ways to read, study, and ponder His word, no matter the season of our life? How can we foster a desire to read, in ourselves and our family members? What changes will we notice when we commit to a study of His word?

Cali Black: I am an author, podcaster, speaker, and content creator who loves the scriptures. I started an Instagram account called Come Follow Me Study in the beginning of 2019 and have consistently shared spiritual thoughts, study resources and helpful videos ever since. I currently live in the East Valley with my amazing husband and three little kids.

His Spirit: Stephanie Bodine and Brooke Pickeral

One of the blessings we are promised in our baptismal covenant is “that we may always have His Spirit to be with us”. The choices we make on a daily basis can invite that Spirit into our lives in greater abundance. Decisions about how and where we spend our time and the thoughts we entertain can make all the difference. How can nature and mindfulness be a benefit to us? How can we be more intentional about adding these into our life? What effect might they have on our mental and spiritual wellness?

Stephanie Bodine: I am a native of Mesa and my family has called this area home for over 14 years. My husband Tyler and I have four children. I am an avid cyclist, runner, hiker, and artist, with a weakness towards Butterfingers, tacos, cookies, and soda. I am a former elementary school teacher and now enjoy teaching piano lessons, volunteering at my children's school, and serving as the Primary President of the Bella Via 1st Ward. 

Brooke Pickeral: I am married to my best friend Kyle. We have five children ranging in age from eight to twenty. I am a postpartum nurse of eighteen years and am four months away from completing a Family Nurse Practitioner program. I love to run, bake, and do yoga to keep myself sane.