Embedded Files
i want you to love me
post-grief
endomorphin
breath of life
self-inflicted
spaces between
strength and glory after all
do i matter?
nine
selfish pursuit
this is an endless story of finding yourself
while experiencing someone else
at the same time.
it is a bare, raw & honest out-spill of a lot of secret vulnerabilities
you carry.
i want you to love me
i want you to show you love me
more than i could ever recognize
i want you to do things for me
more than you could possibly do
hold me tightly
more than you could ever grasp
i want you to kiss me
like you’ve always known me
i want you to touch me
more than i could define
take care of me
and my sensitivity
i wanna hear you say you love me
more than you’ve ever known love
i wanna hear you say you love me
more than you could ever love
i wanna hear you say you love (wanna hear you say you love me)
i wanna hear you say you love (wanna hear you say you love me)
i want you to love me… (can't you just love me?)
i want you to love me… (wont you just love me?)
i want you to love me… (can't ever you just love me?)
i want you to love me… (wont ever you just love me?)
just love me...
i want you to just love me
just love me...
i will call your name
when the shadows came
as you pass the flame
i trust you to calm the pain
through heart we shall claim
the offered hands in vain
words cannot compel
us
mind can be so dense
moments seem to be vile
but once i hold your hand
nothing exists such as pain
i will find a way
to get through the maze
of failure to feel oneself
on countless days
mind can be so dense
overwhelms the moments
but once i feel your breath
peace welcomes itself
3. endomorphin
4. breath of life
i seek for belonging
in places i do not know
where i have to learn
that it’s possible to be known
even if it’s only your presence shown
collided hearts
journeying through dark
balancing the light
it’s a breath of life
i want to be in tune
with the beauty of the unknown
capable of carrying my shadows
it’s not too much
when the heart spills
join the tide
it’s a breath of life
we’re embraced to grow
when the water floods
just proceed to go
it’s a breath of life
what do i do
if i don’t know what to do?
and if everything i just poured are little to you
really matters
what do i do?
i can’t figure it out
if you knew
how much i miss you
i cannot blame you
but i wish
you knew
what to do
maybe it’s time of “you and me”
maybe it began to end
6. spaces between
7. strength and glory after all
if to love me leaves you petrified
and the subsistence for you equates to being satisfied
i dare not to speak but rather disappear by your side
we’re both waiting to cross the line
these became bridges to jump off and dive
it’s either we ignore the equivalent of dire
or we become part of the tide — none of it is right.
in the end, what matters is the others’ eyes.
secretly, you and i—it's something we desire
but to be loved shouldn't require to hide
maybe after all, we’re just strangers who collided to acquire another definition of love
we’re both waiting to cross the line
it's just us wanting what it cost to live this life
it’s either we ignore the equivalent of dire
or we become part of the tide — none of it is right.
in the end, what matters is the others’ eyes.
after all
we’re just strangers
who collided
to acquire another definition of love
at least, for an instant
we get to feel what’s like to be in a position of being yours and mine
(and mine)
detaching from your existence
might require some time
(might require some time)
but i’m willing to try
what life could be outside
this forbidden fire
baby, lately things are getting worse
baby, maybe, it’s time for the final choice
you can’t have me while you’re with her
have some mercy, kissing me while you have her
but does it matter?
i know i'm not who you really want
it’s clear in your eyes
i know kissing you and holding your hand won’t change your mind (but i still tried)
staying by your side won’t help you find yourself in time
it’s hard to let you go
i got stuck in your uncertain
but i know it’s all just illusions
i don’t wanna go
but i need to run as far as i can go
8. do i matter?
9. nine
i miss your skin
and your lips
the scent of you
and your hair
when you're near
i can't help
but to wish
it didn’t end
i want you here
to see you clear
and hold your hand
your name
your face
my escape
my sweetest ache
the way you stare
the clothes you wear
and your room's curtain
i express
no regrets
if i could
id run to you again
i can see
the words you speak
and hear your heart
longing for the way
i want you here
i know, it’s clear
this is not the end
do not wait
just let the fate
until we meet again
i miss your skin
and your lips
the scent of you
and your hair
praying
to bask into your
presence
i will tire
tip toe
into fires
and crawl
all the way back
since where
we stayed
walk here with me
floating
join me graciously
as for you to find
that i am
just a distant past
i long to
ask again
and make you
mine
is it unfair—
a selfish thing to pursue
so heres my
only chance
to ask of you
for me
but i cant
im afraid
again
i will tire
tip toe
into fires
and crawl
all the way
back since where
we stayed
i will hold
us through
anything
is this all
what it takes to love?
our love became
im afraid
our love decayed
our love become
im afraid
our love decayed
im afraid
our love decayed
i will tire
10. selfish pursuit
currently only available for listening on CD or Bandcamp
all songs are produced, recorded, mixed,
and mastered at sandugo studios.
all songs are written by lissia ciel
& composed by dreaming blue flowers,
except for:
“i want you to love me”,
& “post-grief”
written by lissia ciel
& hannah angelica;
co-produced with kern.
“self-inflicted” composed
by rodnie resos; co-produced
with kern & hannah angelica.
“breath of life” composed
by hannah angelica & kern;
written by lissia ciel & hannah angelica
“selfish pursuit” is written
by hannah angelica & lissia ciel;
composed by dreaming blue flowers.
“after all” is composed by kern & hannah angelica;
lyrics written by lissia ciel.
violins in “post-grief” “endomorphin” “strength and glory” & “after all” are
by adrianne delos santos. slide guitar in “endomorphin”, lead guitar in “spaces between”
& “strength and glory” are by damon ‘babu’ dadap. lead guitar in “do i matter?”
by waki ignacio. pianos in “post-grief” “after all”, keys in “endomorphin” “do i matter?”,
piano, keys and violins in “breath of life”, piano performed in “strength and glory” are by rodnie resos.
recorded at sandugo studio, cainta, philippines
produced, mixed, mastered, and sound
engineered by kern faminialagao
& hannah angelica
dreamingblueflowers
sandugostudios.com
photos from
lissia ciel,
hannah angelica,
& miya (@jpegmiyafia)
art direction,
layout and edits
by hannah angelica
(@onlygoldenblue)
escape to the
home, to the
fields, to the
garden of dreaming blue flowers.
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