You Never Had Me
Ancient Los Angeles, 2013, near the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum
As Johnny Tran stands next to his Suzuki Hayabusa motorcycle, he contemplates if it was the right move for him to destroy Vin Diesel’s green Toyota Supra considering Paul Walker, who now owes Vin Diesel a five second car, is coming after him. He musters up all the courage he has in him and decides that he will face Paul Walker like a man. Suddenly, Paul Walker zooms in driving Vin Diesel’s dad’s 1970 Dodge Charger with one thing on his mind: REVENGE. He gets out of the car, removes his sunglasses, and looks Johnny Tran right in the eyes. Johnny Tran is immediately shook. He realizes his grave mistake, hops on his motorcycle, and pops a wheelie as he speeds away to escape Paul Walker’s wrath. Paul Walker, unconcerned, puts his sunglasses back on, gets back into his car, and spins his tires as he begins a hot pursuit. The chase continues, but Johnny Tran’s motorcycle runs out of fuel because he forgot to fill up before the confrontation. By the grace of god, his crew rolls up and give him one of their street bikes with a full tank of gas. After the equivalent of the Daytona 500 amount of laps around the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, Johnny Tran becomes delirious from exhaustion and thinks his crew has come back to support him. He stops the motorcycle. Tran faces Paul Walker with all the confidence in the world. Johnny Tran comes to his senses. He then realizes that he is by himself and his mind has betrayed him.
“Paul, can’t we work this out? You're a reasonable man, right? I’ll give the pink slips to all my motorcycles and we can call it even,” Johnny Tran says to Paul Walker trying to negotiate his way out of certain death.
Paul, unwavering in his thirst for vengeance, says nothing but pulls out his Colt .45 and aims it at Johnny Tran's face. “Any last words?” Paul Walker says.
“The treasure is buried…” but before Johnny Tran can finish his sentence, Paul Walker unloads a round of the most powerful handgun known to Californians right between his eyes. Paul Walker blows the smoke from the barrel of his gun, walks towards Johnny Tran’s body, and says, “Almost had me?”
Paul Walker proceeds to mount Johnny Tran’s body on the hood of his car and takes a victory lap throughout Los Angeles. Hundreds of bystanders witnessing this gruesome act call the police not knowing the infamous Paul Walker is the one behind the wheel. Every officer in the LAPD is now chasing Paul Walker as he speeds through the streets of LA with Johnny Tran’s body still securely strapped to his car. Not once did Paul Walker look in his rearview mirror to see if anyone was close to him. He didn’t need to. Paul Walker rides off into the horizon, never to be seen again.
The legend of Paul Walker is now told in every history class in the country. Cities have erected statues to commemorate the day when Paul Walker embodied the true spirit of America. Paul Walker’s name will remain alive and well until the end of days.
Bibliography: Homer's Iliad: The Slaying of Hector (Retold by A. J. Church); The Fast and the Furious written by Gary Scott Thompson, Eric Bergquist, and David Ayer. Dirty Harry
Author's Note: Homer's Iliad: The Slaying of Hector tells the story of how the Greek demi-god Achilles avenges the death of his friend Patroclus by killing Hector the prince of Troy during the Trojan War. Hector is basically regretting facing Achilles and when Achilles shows up Hector runs away. Achilles chases Hector around Troy and the god Apollo helps Hector while the goddess Athena ultimately cause Hector to stop because she favors Achilles. Hector tries to plead with Achilles and offers him everything Troy has to offer, but Achilles does not accept. They battle and Achilles comes out victorious. Achilles then takes Hector's body, ties it to his chariot, and drags him away. My retelling changes the characters and setting of the story. I incorporated characters from "The Fast and the Furious" but kept the actors' real names. I also changed the setting to Los Angeles instead of Troy. Furthermore, instead of a chase on foot, they do their chase in vehicles. Ultimately, I made these decisions because I was inspired by a YouTube video of two guys trying to get a Paul Walker memorial statue in their city. I gave the story a much cheesier and funny feel to it as opposed to the original story which was tense and dramatic. The line "the most powerful handgun know to Californians..." was accidentally inspired by the movie "Dirty Harry."