Circe & Coke

The tracks of my beaten up Kia Sorento tear across the asphalt of a residential street as we come to a final stop. "Finally," explains Evan from the back seat. We've spent the entire evening trying to find a party and it looks like we may have just lucked out. Calling the residence in front of us a house was an understatement. This house was like a miniature island. From the street, the lights of the house lit up the entire neighborhood and it was evident that a party was going on. Rather than just barge in and invite ourselves to the party, I sent Evan, Seth, and Fogell in to check out the party and relay back to us. After thirty minutes, only Fogell had returned. He was frantic, beads of sweat lined his worried face. He reported back that the party was incredible, but Seth and Evan indulged in a drink called "Circe-Roc." It was only a matter of minutes before they started acting like pigs. They were customarily the most respectful friends of ours, but this drink seems to have corrupted their minds. They were all over girls, asking them for their Snapchat, telling them to "hit them up on Kik" and even worse, they started DMing girls. At this point I realized that I had to go in myself and get them out of there.

"Please, Dave, don't go in. You'll end up just like them after one drink," pleaded Fogell, but my mind was set. As I made my way in the house my senses were overwhelmed by the smell of E-cig juices and Lil John lyrics. Despite the obvious revulsion to the situation I was experiencing I pressed on. After wading through what felt like a sea of people I finally caught wind of Evan and Seth. I went up to Seth and he had a full bottle of "Circe-Roc" in his hands. Everyone was drinking it. Rather than refuse and get forced out of the party I had to do as the Romans do. As I took my first swig I realized this was the best drink I had ever had. I went back out to the car and grabbed the rest of the guys. There was a bouncy castle, a pool, and there was even a dog. My friends and I knew no one at this party, but it didn't matter. Somehow Fogell got the nickname "McLovin" during the night and everyone started chanting "McLovin, McLovin, McLovin" while he was doing a keg stand. During the debauchery, I noticed a disgruntled neighbor at the front door yelling at a younger kid who shouldn't have been at this party. The kid took out a taser and tased the guy in the neck! It was crazy. I've never seen anything like it. I later found out that this kid was the little brother of the guy throwing the party and he was supposed to be the bodyguard for the party. Despite all of this fun, we knew that we would be ashamed of our actions due to "Circe-Roc" the next day. That didn't stop us from partying 'til the break of dawn though.