Please provide as many details as possible. We can then act immediately, as we will have all the information we need to handle your request. 

Our team replies to every incoming request and we always do our best to get back to you as soon as possible. 

DateMeDurban@outlook.com

How to Date Safely:

At DateMeDurban, user safety is a priority. To stay safe, there are certain steps that you should take while dating – both online and offline.

Please read the information below and remember that you are always the best judge of your safety. These guidelines are not intended to be a substitute for your own judgment.

Online Behavior:

• Finance: Protect Your Finances & Never Send Money or Financial Information
  Never respond to any request to send money, especially overseas or by wire transfer, and report it to us immediately – even if the person claims to be in an emergency. Wiring money is like sending cash: the sender has no protections against loss and it’s nearly impossible to reverse the transaction or trace the money. 

• Protect Your Personal Information
  Never give personal information, such as: your credit card number or bank information, or your work or home address to people you don’t know or haven’t met in person.
  Note: DateMeDurban will never send you an email asking for your username and password information. Any such communications should be reported immediately.

• Keep your conversations on the DateMeDurban platform while you get to know your match. 

• Be Web Wise
  Block and report suspicious users. You can block and report concerns about any suspicious user anonymously from any profile page, email or messaging window. Keep conversations on the platform. Bad actors will try to move the conversation to text, personal email or phone conversations.

• Report All Suspicious Behavior
  Additionally, please report anyone who violates our Terms & Conditions here. Examples of violations include:

  • asking you for money or donations

  • requesting photographs

  • minors using the platform

  • members sending harassing or offensive messages or emails

  • members behaving inappropriately during or after meeting in person

  • fraudulent registration or profiles

  • spam or solicitation, such as invitations to call 1-900 numbers or attempts to sell products or service

Offline Behavior:

First in-person meetings are exciting, but always take precautions and follow these guidelines to help you stay safe.

• Get to Know the Other Person
  Keep your communications on the platform and really get to know users online/using the app before meeting them in person. Bad actors often push people to communicate off the platform immediately. It’s up to you to research and do your due diligence.

• Always Meet and Stay in Public
  Meet for the first few times in a populated, public place – never in a private or remote location and never at your date’s home or apartment. If your date pressures you, end the date and leave at once.

• Tell Your Friends and Family Members of Your Plans
  Inform a friend or family member of your plans and when and where you’re going. Make sure you have your cell phone charged and with you at all times.

• Transport Yourself to and from the Meeting
  You need to be independent and in control of your own transportation, especially in case things don’t work out.

• Stay Sober
  Consumption of alcohol and/or other drugs can impair your judgment and potentially put you in danger. It’s important to keep a clear mind and avoid anything that might place you at risk. Be aware that bad actors might try to take advantage of you by altering your beverage(s) with synthetic substances.

Health:

DateMeDurban welcomes everyone and empowers our community of users to create and cultivate relationships. An important aspect of any healthy relationship – whether formed on DateMeDurban or not – is ensuring proper sexual health and safety. As a member of the DateMeDurban community it is your responsibility to make sure you do the following, if you choose to engage in sexual activity:

• Protect Yourself
  You and your partner should use proper protection. Condoms and other mechanisms can significantly reduce the risk of contracting or passing on a sexually transmitted infection (STI), such as HIV. However, you can still get certain STI’s, like herpes or HPV from contact with your partner’s skin even when using a condom. To be effective, however, protective measures must be used consistently.

• Be Open and Honest
  It is completely reasonable to have a conversation with your partner regarding sex and sexual contact before actually having it. All issues ranging from the number of partners each of you has had, to the last time each of you was tested for STI’s are fair game. Many STI’s are curable or treatable. If either you or your partner has an STI that is curable, you both need to start treatment to avoid becoming re-infected. It is important to be completely honest in these conversations.

• Vaccinate
  The risk of contracting some STI’s can be reduced through vaccination. Talk to your doctor or a professional at a sexual health clinic to learn more.

• Know Your Status
  Know your status. Some STI’s don't show symptoms. Regular testing is critical to staying on top of your health and helping prevent the spread of STI’s After testing, always ask for a copy of your test results so you are sure of your status.

For Further Help, Support, or Advice:

In the case that something has happened, immediately call 10111. Emergency situations include a recent threat of violence or sexual violence, recent act of violence or sexual violence, or if your health or someone else’s is in danger.

If something has happened and you’re in need of help, support, or advice pertaining to physical or sexual assault, please call the below 24-hour hotlines.

Rape, Abuse and Violence Hotline
0800 150 150  | https://www.lifelinesa.co.za/

Planned Parenthood
031 304 4818   | https://www.plannedparenthood.org

Additionally, if you are aware of anyone who violates our Terms & Conditions, please report them here.

What is Consent? 

Consent is "an ongoing process of discussing boundaries and what you're comfortable with" 

Consent is: 

• Affirmative - communicated enthusiastically and unambiguously 

• Voluntary - given freely, not under pressure

• Ongoing - continuously discussed as need arises

When it comes to dating, there are many opportunities to consent or not. The following is a non-exhaustive list of consent best practices. Above all, remember that: 

• You can refuse or withdraw your consent at any time, for any reason.

• If someone violates your consent, it is NOT your fault 

Before Your Date:

• Ground yourself. Be mentally prepared for rejection. Understand that rejection is part of the human experience, and being rejected doesn't make you unworthy. 

  • Remember that going on a date doesn't mean you--or your date--are agreeing to any physical intimacy. 

• Know yourself: How comfortable are you with saying "No"? Does the thought of disappointing someone make you feel guilty or nervous?

  • If yes, take time to think about what your boundaries are and practice stating them out loud. You can even ask a friend to help you with a practice conversation.

  • How good are you at hearing "No"? Does being turned down make you visibly upset or angry? If so, keep in mind that this can make the other person feel unsafe. Practice responding in a kind and easygoing way.

• Set up a Safety Check-in: Make sure a friend knows where you're going and when, and set a time to call or text them by to let them know things are going well. In the event they don't hear from you let them know what steps you would like them to take.

Earlier In Your Date:

• Notice how well your date listens to you. If, for example, you turn down your date's offer for another round of drinks and they try to change your mind, or they get upset in a way they makes you feel guilty, that can be a useful insight into your date's future behavior. Smaller boundary violations like these may indicate a lack of respect for more important boundaries.

• Notice how your date makes you feel. Ask yourself whether you feel comfortable saying no. If you don't feel comfortable, make a note of that feeling.

• Notice whether you feel a genuine connection. Do they seem engaged in the conversation? Do you feel warmly towards them?    

  • Maybe you are confused because they seem to be giving mixed signals. This can be a sign that they're not yet comfortable with you or they don't quite know what they want yet. The only way to know for sure is to: 

• Ask for clarification. Sometimes you have to be a little vulnerable and ask your date what they mean, whether they're enjoying themselves, and other direct questions to gauge their interest. 

Later In Your Date

• Assess your date's ability to consent. If your date is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent, then initiating any sexual contact with them is a violation of their boundaries. Do not engage in sexual activity with someone who is intoxicated, passed out, otherwise incapable of saying "No," or seems unaware of what is happening around them.

• Ask permission before any physical contact. "No" should always be treated as "No" 

  • Remember that a "Yes" to kissing, for example, is not a "Yes" to anything more than that, and that the absence of a clear "No" does not mean "Yes". 

• Communicate clearly and check in regularly. Use words and be clear. If your date asks if you want to be kissed, and you're not sure, say "No" or "Let's hold off on that."
  
  

  • Nonverbal communication is valid, but it's best not to assume that your date will read your body language correctly.

• Handle rejection gracefully. The date is going well, but when you invite them back to your place they say no. What do you do? 

  • Hearing "No" can be hard, but saying "No" to someone who takes it poorly can be a frightening experience. You don't want to be the kind of person who makes someone afraid to refuse you. 

  • Take a moment to collect yourself before you respond, acknowledge, and move on. "Okay, no problem!" You might even thank them for setting a clear boundary.

  • It's important that you do not attempt to change your date's mind, pressure or bargain with them, or make them feel guilty for "wasting your time." 

• Know your rights. Remember: "You can withdraw your consent at any time, for any reason." Even if you have given consent previously. You can slow things down or stop them entirely. Any unwanted touch is a violation of your boundaries. 

After Your Date: 

• Reflect on what went well, and what didn't.

• Evaluate how you feel. Did you leave the date feeling listened to and that your feelings were considered? Do you feel uncomfortable or violated? 

• If your date violates your consent or makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe please report their profile.   

  • This includes pressuring you into agreeing to something you didn't want, overriding your stated boundaries, or harming you physically in any way.