March 17

And then came Corona. What can I say? All my previous plans and challenges don’t matter anymore. One little virus turned my whole world upside down. It turned the whole world upside down. But I think it changed more for me than for most people. Instead of finishing my first year at Harvard and spend the summer eating sushi in Milano I will now be stuck in my small town for the coming six months. The virus destroyed everything. Absolutely everything.

Thus far I’ve hated being home. The last few days have been incredibly boring. There is nothing I want more than to leave. It doesn’t help that I’ve been half-sick over the past couple of days as well. Mom and dad won’t let me see any friends and are constantly nagging me about washing my hands. It’s driving me crazy. If I could get away from all the nagging, from all the people, and have my own place with friends to do hang out with then maybe this time wouldn’t be as torturous. Sounds like I’m describing being back at Harvard. Maybe things will get better when school starts again.

But I’m honestly worried over how I will find the motivation to study. When I’m just sitting at home it’s like I lose control of time and space. Without fixed times to hang on to I start drifting and can’t get anything done whatsoever. Structure is essential for my sanity. I doubt I’ll be able to handle the lack of exercise too. My brain stops functioning when my body sits still. Maybe I can start studying with my friends who go to the local university. Or perhaps visit some friends who study in other towns. Somehow I need to get structure. And exercise.

Then we have this freaking cat. What an annoying creature. Right now he is walking behind me making some obnoxious noises. Extremely annoying. Why does he do this? Go do your thing and leave me alone.

April 15

It’s been a month since I got home. Looking back I must say it really hasn’t been that bad. I’ve been lucky to end up in the country with the least restrictions on its citizens. Most things are still open. It’s up to every individual how much they want to protect themselves from getting Corona. We are trusted by the authorities to be responsible in preventing the spread of Corona. I have not been responsible in preventing the spread. Most of my friends haven’t. When we want to do something, we do it. I don’t think even once about the implications it has for Corona. None of us do. And I can’t see why that would be surprising to anyone.

One thing that hasn’t been lacking is exercise. The gyms are still open so we try to go every day. It’s a good excuse to get out of the house and see some people. The rest of my time is mostly spent at the computer. Some kind of structure is achieved when I have the gym to build my days around. Pass/Fail in all classes helped a ton too. It’s basically impossible to screw up now. There is no way I would have been getting A’s with the amount of studying I’ve been doing since I got back home. My learning definitely has declined. I don’t want it too, but I lack the willpower to change it. It’s difficult when there is no one around to discuss any of the concepts with. I underestimated how much learning takes place in those situations.

One thing this Corona crisis has thought me is that the future looks bleak for online education. It simply sucks. A lot. Video is not the same. The silence after a question is asked is deeper. Then two people speak at the same time. Distractions are only a button away. You can’t whisper a joke to someone next to you. It’s impossible to find any new friends. Meals have to be made by me, which means they suck. And I have to eat them alone, which sucks even more. Online cannot compare to live. I just want to go back.

It is a bit beautiful to be back at the same time. A unique opportunity. Everyone who left has come back. For the last time ever. I thought I was done with this town, but it invited me back up for one last dance. And dance I will.