Chao Black Market

"You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

– Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.

"My problem? MY PROBLEM?! Wanna know what my problem is? You're turning humans into glue! That's what my fucking problem is!"

– Max Payne, Max Payne 3.

"Huge apple!"

– Black Market.

Introduction

The Chao Black Garden is a general store that can be found throughout Chao World in the Sonic Adventure video game series, from such locations as the Station Square Garden, the Chao Kindergarten, and the Chao Red Light District, the last of which can only be visited through the Chao Stadium chaos drive glitch in Sonic Adventure 2. The Black Market can be accessed online through the official Sonic Adventure 2 website in the original 2001 SEGA Dreamcast release, but because this method is atrociously dated, all later markets from Sonic Adventure DX: Director's Cut and Sonic Adventure 2: Battle are physical locations. The purpose of these shops is to buy chao eggs of various colors and types, like monotone and shiny; edible chao fruits, from more standard fruits like square and triangle to specialty fruits like skill and fertility; seeds that can be planted into the ground and grown into assorted fruit trees once the watering can is unlocked; unlockable menu screen themes styled after and narrated by a creepy fangirl, a robotic abuse victim, and even a dead child; and face masks that include watermelons, gold pots, professional robber beanies, cardboard boxes for maximum ghetto status, and paper lunch bags for the most adorable Zodiac Killer costume ever!

As for the shop itself, walking in would be considerably more awkward and creepy without the Chao Kindergarten theme playing. The owners of the shop merely consist of a shady, surgeon's mask-wearing neutral chao and a half-fish performing the foat-wulping dance, although both seem equally welcoming and are probably also sexually interested in each other. Chao owners like Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Big, Gamma, Shadow, Eggman, and Rouge have two options: buying and selling. Any item that the owner is holding aside from chao, animals, and chaos drives can be sold for additional rings, and a limited selection of the aforementioned items can be bought. The shop will automatically restock, and only five items can be carried at a time. If anyone takes issue with these rules, they can always try the Chao World Extended and Enhanced Chao World mods for PC. If they only own the games on console and don't want to use cheats, they better enjoy them for what they are before I hack their noses off with a cheese knife.