Rethinking Dialogue

You grow the most when you're uncomfortable. Don't fear it, embrace and challenge it.

Be Open-Minded: Why Discomfort Matters

Photo credit: ACLU

Photo credit: Gracious Quotes

Words by James Baldwin

True freedom of thought means being willing to hear what makes us uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean that we should agree with everything we hear, but it does mean we allow space for different ideas, even the ones that challenge and offend us.

Speech is always going to offend someone no matter which political ideology they identify with (republicans may be offended by talks on abortion because it conflicts with their religious beliefs, while democrats may be offended by debates on transgender rights because it is a part of their unique identity).

Does that mean we should just ban them all since they hurt us emotionally? No! Because if we did, we would not be allowed to talk about literally anything.

You don’t have to agree with everything someone says to respect their right to say it. Many people come from different backgrounds, cultures, and life experiences, that you never got to see. This shapes how they see the world and how they speak about it, which may be vastly different from your 'norm'. Keep this in mind when you come across someone who disagrees with your viewpoint. Try your best to understand the 'whys' instead of making a judgement about their character, since human beings are complex and nuanced, where not every belief is made through judgement and ill-intentions. If we shut speeches that conflict with our beliefs, we lose the valuable opportunity to understand other perspectives, and instead simplify it through a stereotypical lens.

Photo credit: Quillette

We label, we assume, and we stop listening.

In today’s world, it’s easy to surround ourselves with people who think just like us, but growth NEVER comes from echo chambers. It comes from engaging with people who disagree with us. New perspectives will ALWAYS feel uncomfortable, but they push us to ask deeper questions about our biases and refine our beliefs. The strongest ideas are the ones that survive disagreement, not the ones that are shielded from it. We do not need to be coddled, but we do need to be treated like capable human beings unafraid of dissent, because challenging and being challenged helps us develop critical thinking and confidence in our beliefs.

Right now, the America is deeply divided on many issues. People, students and teachers, are afraid to speak up for fear of being judged, canceled, or misunderstood. When books are banned, children lose access to books about race, history, gender, and sexuality that they never see depicted elsewhere. When speeches are shut down due to controversy, we lose the opportunity to grow, freely debate, and listen to each other. The only way to fight this extreme polarization is by choosing openness and curiosity over contempt and comfort (by talking through hard things).

“The strongest ideas are the ones that survive disagreement, not the ones that are shielded from it. We do not need to be coddled, but we do need to be treated like capable human beings unafraid of dissent, because challenging and being challenged helps us develop critical thinking and confidence in our beliefs.”

Credit: Genaro Molina | Los Angeles Times

Sometimes, what is seen as “offensive” today becomes essential tomorrow. Many important movements, including civil rights, feminism, LGBTQ+ rights, were once considered radical, offensive, and disruptive to society. It’s tempting to believe that banning offensive and hate speech protects us, but when we erase difficult conversations in fear of offense, we also erase the opportunity to change our communities for the better.

Banning hate speech can backfire too, because once your words no longer fit what is socially acceptable, you lose the rights to stand up for your beliefs, and instead get labeled as the outcast and enemy.

You are strong enough to stand up for what you believe in and listen/read something that challenges you.

We never grow by silencing disagreement. We grow by learning how to engage with it, respond to it, and live together despite it.

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