Capture His Heart

Do you think he’s cheating… when he really isn’t?

Before we begin, tell me which guys in the relationships below are cheating:

1. Hannah and Andre have been dating for 2 years.They’ve talked about getting married. She even thinks he’s been pricing some rings…

2. Elisa and Malik are like the “old couple” among their friends – they’ve been together now for 5 years, and even though they haven’t ever discussed marriage, she isn’t seeing other guys. She refers to him as “my partner” and they have a vibrant sex life.

3. Jasmin and Darren started seeing each other about 4 months ago, and are ecstatically in love. They talk on the phone multiple times every day, and go out on a date several times a week. Last week he moved in with her.

Wait!

Before you tell me which of the guys in these three relationships do you think is cheating, let me tell you this: Every single one of those guys is seeing other women.

Does that surprise you? Make you angry?

Before you start throwing things (and for the record, I just made those three couples up, and I realize I didn’t give you much information to go on) you should know: the reason I ask is because I think this is an issue that crops up ALL THE TIME for women, and there’s a huge issue underneath the word “cheating”… And THAT’S the real issue we need to discuss…

How most women define cheating

Most women would tell you that if two people are “together” and one of them “sees” other people, that’s cheating. I’m not convinced there’s even one guy in the world who would agree with that definition, though.

And here’s why THAT is really, really bad for all the women in the world.

When a woman has that definition of cheating, she often completely gives over her life to a man who isn’t doing the same. In other words, he’s “won” her and may now either a) lose interest, or b) enjoy and keep all the “benefits” of a relationship with her but never make a commitment, even though she’s made a commitment to him.

If you hope for and want to be married someday, you could lose years of your life this way, waiting for a man who isn’t waiting for you.

So how SHOULD you define cheating?

In my world, “cheating” is a word reserved only for two situations.

First, where two people have made a clear and explicit agreement to date only each other and one of them breaks that agreement.

And second, in a marriage when one person “dates” (meaning sees because they’re sexually or deeply emotionally interested in) another.

Why you should (both) date other people until you are (both) ready to commit

There’s a big difference between dating and exclusivity. If you are a woman who is seeking a committed, exclusive relationship or marriage, one of the best things you could do to secure a commitment is to NOT be so easily won!

I’m not at all saying “play hard to get” – I’m saying look for the man who is going to commit, and don’t stop looking until you find him!

This actually not only keeps you from losing years of your life with a man who isn’t going to commit, it also makes you extremely desirable among men!

How to get him to commit to you

First, you need to clearly communicate (and this is delicate, and I talk more about it in “Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever”) exactly how long you’re willing to date without a commitment.

Then, you need keep dating other guys until the two of you explicitly agree to be exclusive.

I know it’s hard to spend time seeing, spending time with, and enjoying other guys when all you want is to fall happily into the arms of this one particular man, but until you two agree that you are each other’s “only and forever,” that’s the best path toward your dreams.

How to make him BEG you to be his (and his only!)

If you’re sick of “Bad Boys,” “Players,” and guys who just won’t commit, you need to go watch this new video renowned relationship expert Michael Fiore put up. It’s called “3 Steps To Make A Man Love You” and it teaches you how to make a man not just “fall” for a you… But to actually make him obsessed with you so HE decides he WANTS to be serious…

–> Make him powerfully addicted (in a really good way) to you!

Michael lays out the absolute truth about what men really want and need from a woman for them to be able to give EVERYTHING to her… (In fact, he flat out tells you how his girlfriend captured his heart and made him fall for her HARD even though he was “playing the field” and thought he’d never settle down.)

Two Things That Terrify All Men

He will never tell you any of this.

In fact, he’s dying to read this article, but he would never let you catch him doing it, and he certainly won’t admit to wanting to know if his deep, dark secrets are hanging out like underwear on a clothesline. In the front yard. In the middle of a busy city. (Hah!)

Well, he won’t tell you, but I will.

But first, two warnings:

First, this isn’t a complete list. Of course! But I think these are the two biggest ones. (I’m working on more articles about a few of the others…)

Second, I’m not telling you so you can shame him. I’m doing this so you can help him. But you have to be sneaky, so that he doesn’t know. Be nice to your man – he worships the ground you walk on, and believe me, he knows a few of your dirty dark secrets, too.

On to the juice, shall we?

GUY FEAR #1: My sexual desires are NOT okay

I won’t tell you that old thing about how guys want waaay more sex that women do, because it’s actually not true. Women want it, we just want it under different terms. He just… wants it. Every possible way he can imagine it. With your sister, your mom, the librarian (definitely the librarian), the teenager snapping her gum behind the cash register. He’s even had a dirty fantasy about that weird shopping cart lady.

Sex movies of every description (multiple lovers, bondage, fetish, you name it) run in his brain nearly all the time, and sometimes what’s showing on the screen shocks even him.

Deep down, he’s terrified that he wants sex too much, or in the wrong ways, with the wrong people. His sex drive is a formidable machine, and it’s a testament to his power that he doesn’t let it drive his life, only his brain.

What YOU can do to help him

Creating an atmosphere of openness in your intimate life with him is the first step in making him feel less scared about his sexual desire. I’m not saying you have to DO everything that he THINKS about, but be willing to ask him to talk about his fantasies. Invite him to give you steamy details. Even the act of sharing can be a tremendous gift of sexual energy between the two of you.

Help him learn to make YOU the star of his sexual mind shows, even if all you do is tell him a dirty story during foreplay.

And finally, don’t forget to let him know you’re sexually satisfied! If you can do this, he’s going to become so riveted by you he’ll never want to let you go. EVERY man wants to know he can sexually satisfy a woman.

GUY FEAR #2: Other men will think I’m weak

You gotta feel for the men of our world. They’re expected to get a respectable paycheck, make us feel secure, (not think about sex so much), beat out the other guys, support the winning team, be tough, overcome all the obstacles in their way, scare away the bad guys, and never show fatigue, fear, or ANYthing except sheer strength and confidence.

It’s a lot to live up to.

It’s impossible to live up to, actually.

And yet that’s the challenge they hear every single day. And if they don’t answer it – actually DOMINATE it – their fear is that they will be publicly shamed, humiliated, despised… Not so much by you or by other women (although they hate the idea of that, too), but by other MEN.

But that doesn’t mean YOU don’t have power. Every man wants a woman who is unreservedly, whole-heartedly ON HIS SIDE. Your support actually adds to his power in the world of other men.

What YOU can do to help him

I have a question for you: if he’s fighting away on the field of his life, do you ever even show up at his game? And if you do, can he hear your enthusiastic, genuine support for him?

I’m not saying you have to actually get out your cheerleader skirt and shimmy and shout (although he’ll probably appreciate that, see #1 above!), but there IS a way to let him know you’re seeing how hard he works, and you want him to win.

Encourage him to tell you about his daily battles. Lean in and attentively soak up every bit. Ask for details. Don’t multitask while you’re doing this; give him your full focus. Be his raving fan.

And offer him your sincere admiration. Let him know how strong you find him, how amazing his accomplishments and abilities are. If you can make him feel like you believe in him and are on his side no matter what, you are going to ADDICT him to you.

3 Steps to Make a Man Love You

If you’re sick of “Bad Boys,” “Players” and guys who just won’t commit, you need to go watch this new video renowned relationship expert Michael Fiore put up. It’s called “3 Steps To Make A Man Love You” and it teaches you how to make a man not just “fall” for a you… But to actually make him obsessed with you so HE decides he WANTS to be serious…

–> Make him powerfully addicted (in a really good way) to you!

Michael lays out the absolute truth about what men really want and need from a woman for them to be able to give EVERYTHING to her… (In fact, he flat out tells you how his girlfriend Captured His Heart and made him fall for her HARD even though he was “playing the field” and thought he’d never settle down.)

What Men Really Think About Your Body

This may come as a shock to you but guys have different eyeballs than you do.

You know why I’m saying that?

Because when YOU look at yourself in the mirror, you see that front tooth that’s a bit crooked, the line where your bra presses in (you call this your “back fat”), the too-small breasts or the too-wide rear, your goofy knees, funny toes…. The list goes on and on.

But you know what your MAN sees? A woman he’d love to strip naked and get busy with right this instant, maybe sooner.

My personal body part confession…

Maybe you have a muffin top “thing,” but I used to HATE my feet.

When I was a teenager, I had surgery on my big toes (bunions, it’s such an ugly word!!) and for the next 20 years I zealously covered my feet. I never EVER owned a pair of sandals or open-toed shoes and would have died before I let a man openly look at my feet.

I have a big scar running the length of both big toes. My second toe is longer. My feet are… wanky. You know. Ugh, I could make myself MISERABLE thinking about my feet.

Shockingly, amazingly, wonderfully, I found a man actually willing (he would say, desperate!) to marry me.

I hope you’re laughing now, but at the time, I found it next to impossible to think about what kind of man would marry me “even with these feet.”

3 ways MEN see your body…

If you asked my man which of my physical attributes attracted him, it’s really hard for him to move past the standard T&A answer you’d probably get from any man. You can almost see a physical effort as he drags his sex-craving brain past the chest, past the butt, and FINALLY he’ll tell you something like, “She has gorgeous shoulders…”

I bet he didn’t even know I had scars on my feet for the first 10 years we were married.

Here’s the thing: Men see your body in three ways, and it’s nothing like the way you see yourself.

1. They see what makes you WOMANLY

This means when they look at you they instantly notice the things about your body that make you uniquely a woman. Breasts, hips, ass, curves… Even the way you walk. It’s nearly impossible for a red-blooded heterosexual male to notice anything before they read the parts of your body that say: I am a woman.

Your arm flaps do not make this list. Your cellulite does not make this list. Your stretch marks do not make this list. Sorry.

2. They see what makes you UNIQUE

That chipped tooth you hate? They think it’s kind of charming. The muffin top? They can’t see it because it’s too near your ass, which they think is the finest thing in nine counties. Do you think your lips are too thin? They just love it when you smile at them. (And truthfully, when they think about your lips on their body, they are NOT thinking “Oh her lips are too thin.” I PROMISE.)

If guys notice a particular body part of yours that you think makes you hideous (and I guarantee you they would never use that term) they just think it makes you uniquely…you! And since it’s YOU they are desperate for, they want that part of you as much as the others.

3. They see what you constantly draw their attention to

This is where you have the power to rock or ruin a relationship.

When you constantly complain about your own body, a man’s desire to enjoy and love you are being eroded a little at a time. In other words, you’re rejecting him. He thinks, “I could touch her body all day,” and you say, “I’m too flabby.” You’re not only tearing yourself down, you’re tearing HIM – his thoughts, his desires for you, his excitement about you – down.

And it works the other way, too. Show off your pedicure (I do, now!), go sleeveless, wear that backless dress, and ruthlessly tease him with the body he absolutely adores.

A man loves a REAL woman

Of course he looks at the naked, “perfect” girls in the magazine or online. And of course you’re bombarded with “perfect” skinny chicks on the runway or the billboard.

But a picture of perfection – whether it’s real or not – is no competition whatsoever for a living, breathing, fragrant woman sitting next to a man at a restaurant. Or pressed slightly against him in the elevator. Perfection can go hang; you are up close and personal.

Stepford wives are creepy. You can be assured that while he might fantasize about a playmate of the month, he’ll take a real woman over a figment of his imagination EVERY time.

Celebrate your body (and let him do it, too)!

Of course you want to invest time and energy into a healthy, beautiful body. But meanwhile, don’t let your own issues with your body drive him away. You deserve all the fabulous man-attention as he wants to give you!

How to make a man fall in love with you

Maybe you’re still waiting for that amazing guy to come along… Is there anything YOU can do to get him here and in your life, right now? Listen to the story of how one woman “tamed” renowned relationship expert Michael Fiore, and almost magically got HIM to decide it was time to stop playing the field.

→ Get your “bad boy” (or ANY man) to fall for you

No ultimatums. No begging and pleading. No crying. This video lays out the absolute truth about what men really want and NEED from a woman for them to be able to give EVERYTHING to her…

Is He Moving Too Slowly For You?

Quiet, slower men have their own advantages and disadvantages, and depending on what YOU want out of a relationship I think they can make pretty awesome partners.

Here’s why…

The big advantages:

A quiet, slow man is usually very stable, not just emotionally, but also (very frequently) financially. For some people, this is a huge benefit. In other words, you get to be the dynamic, whirlwind person and he provides the grounding for that. You won’t be competing with him for attention, either.

Also, a man with a slow, deliberate approach can be quite a pleasure in the bedroom 🙂 He’ll take the time to get you where you want to go.

The potential problem:

The reason some women don’t like the slower-paced guys is because it just takes them forever to make a move! You might get frustrated at having to wait on him all the time. And if you’re hoping to commit within a short time-frame, you might have to pass this guy on by.

But not necessarily! Men secretly yearn for commitment and marriage and in Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever, I teach you how to turn that yearning into a truly primal need.

Slow-paced guys are usually pretty happy for you to lead on making moves, for one thing. So be SURE to communicate openly and clearly with him on the important stuff. This means you have to know what you want, of course, so if you’re not clear, GET clear.

And when it comes to commitment, the key to working with a man like this is to let him know your timeframe. If you hope to get married within a year after starting to date someone, you need to be able to let him know this in a non-threatening way.