Children respond and adapt differently to events that happen in their life.
Children’s coping strategies are as individual and unique as they are themselves.
Even though someone might appear to have coped and accepted their situation, our counsellors are finding more and more that a persons' early life events have left their mark.
This confusion can lead to demonstrations of emotions. As they are unable to verbalise their feelings, they may choose to act out what they are feeling inside.
Even when support is around for them they can find it difficult to talk to people that they know. When a close member of the family or friend dies, children can feel pressure to say and do ‘the right thing’.
Nobody knows how they will react to any given situation. Life teaches us how others react and we might choose to act in the same way. Of course, it is not always appropriate to take on someone else’s responses. Most adults might be more aware of their own feelings and work out the correct way for them. Children, however, can take on other people’s reactions. This is not always the way in which they want to behave, but are unaware of any choices, again leading to a confused state.
It is now clearly recognised that counselling children can assist children at certain stressful times, and that if these issues are addressed promptly then they have less chance to becoming deeply rooted and affecting both the emotional and academic development of the child.
Bottling their feelings, not knowing how they feel about things can add confusion which can lead to behaviour problems and the inability to communicate with others effectively. They can feel isolated, misunderstood and confused.
When there is a family break up they can feel disloyal to speak truthfully about what is happening to them and feel that they do not have anyone to talk to.
They can have questions that need answering, without knowing who to ask, and they do not wanting to cause any more pain. This can all add to that pressure.