About me
自分はなんで生きているだろう。生きているという感覚にさえ疑いを感じてしまう。感覚とは？そもそも人間とは？地球とは？自分は大きな何かの中ではたったちっぽけな駒にすぎず、全てはただ操られているだけなのではないか。小さい時からたまにふと、そんなことを考えることがあった。幼い頃はぐるぐると考えて、直近で見たちょっと怖かったアニメと勝手に結びつけて、余計に怖くなった。それが大学生になると、こんなことを考えられるぐらい暇なのかと自分を安心させる材料になる。そして今、社会人。生きていることについて考えることすら無くなってきたかもしれない。答えのないものに自分なりに考えを巡らすことは変わらず楽しい。自分は知る由もないが、そこに何かしらの答えはあるはず。特にわたしにとってそれは、人の装いであることが多い。なぜそれを選んだのか、なぜそう組み合わせたのか、これからどこに行くのか、どんな気分なのか。ただただ気になる。もちろん装い以外にもある。電車で座っている目の前の人、街中の広告、大切な人たちとの会話。見過ごしていたり、言葉では言い表せないような物事に対して、自分なりの角度で言葉を紡ぐ。それが読む人にとって腑に落ちるもの、もしくは考えるきっかけになるようなものでありたい。Why am I alive? I even question the sensation of being alive. What is sensation? What is a human being? What is the earth? I am just a tiny pawn in something bigger, and everything is just being manipulated.Since I was a small child, I have sometimes wondered about such things. When I was a child, these thoughts were stuck in my head and connected to a slightly scary cartoon I had recently seen, which made me even more frightened. When I was a college student, I used to reassure myself that I had enough free time to think about such things. And now, I'm working full-time. I may not have been even thinking about living anymore.It is still fun to think about things that don't have answers in my own way. I feel like I have no way of knowing, but there must be some kind of answer there. For me, in particular, it is often the way people dress. I wonder why they chose it, why they put it together the way they did, where they are going, and how they are feeling. I'm just curious.Of course, there is more to it than just the outfit. The person sitting in front of me on the train, advertisements in the city, and conversations with people I love. I spin words from my own angle to things that people may have overlooked or that cannot be expressed in words. I hope that my words will inspire you, or evoke your thoughts.