2c. Positive and respectful communication

1. Use positive and respectful communication 

To ensure we have successful relationships with others in the school there needs to be trust, respect and confidence between all parties. Staff and students need to respect others.  

This means communicating to all:

• in a respectful manner

• using inclusive language

• ensuring that you do not belittle, put down or disparage and 

• not using offensive, negative or destructive language.  

You also need to listen to others, respecting their ideas and to respond to them with warmth and empathy. When we respect others, we role model appropriate practices and this supports student learning and their ability to respect us. 

When we support students to ask questions and to discuss issues of concern we can encourage polite and respectful debate, where each uses active listening techniques and a respectful and calm tone of voice.

Effective and co-operative relationships are based on mutual respect. In other words you will not get respect if you do not give it.  

3. Build intrinsic motivation through positive and respectful communication

One of your main goals in working with students should be to assist students to become intrinsically motivated, whether it is in relation to behaviour or to learning. 

Intrinsic motivation refers to the motivation we have within us to try and to have success.

This can be done using positive communication strategies such as recognising and acknowledging student achievements. If achievements and improvements are not acknowledged, students can lose the motivation to use responsible behaviours and to achieve. 

Whether we are discussing behaviour or learning, students need to know:

• what they have done correctly

• what they have done wrong and 

• how to correct or improve on their behaviours or actions. 

They also need to know why it is necessary to do this. Honest feedback and acknowledgement helps students understand their strengths and emerging skills. In order to feel strong , confident and independent, students must receive truthful feedback on the things they do.

Some ways of providing this are:

• positive narration (PN)

• effective feedback and

• constructive feedback

Positive narration is when you comment on what students are doing well as they are doing it.
For example: "I can see J and T are packing away their books - great job."  "E you are doing a great job in straightening up the room."  "Its great to see everyone putting up their hands to show me they want to answer the question!"

Effective or descriptive feedback is feedback given to students about what they are doing that is very specific and which might focus on students' efforts as much as on what is actually accomplished.  

For example: “You chose to put the introduction in one paragraph and then continue the story, where you were bringing in new ideas, in another paragraph. Well done!” instead of "Good job!"   "When you added those adjectives to describe the situation, you really made me feel scared about what would happen next." "You tried so hard in Maths today, you must be very proud of yourself!"

Constructive feedback is usually given with effective feedback and gives the student guidance on how to improve at what they are doing.

For example: "You did a great job in putting up your hand to answer the question but try to keep the answer quiet until I say your name."

When you offer genuine praise that is specific, spontaneous and well deserved, it encourages continuous learning and motivates new learning.

Continuous or unrealistic praise is not, however, helpful. 

Students who have grown accustomed to continuous non-specific praise can develop unrealistic expectations or perceptions of self. They can develop anxieties regarding their abilities, a fear of failure and reluctance to try new things. Alternatively, they might believe that everything they do is perfect and that no one will disagree with them or disapprove of what they do. Either way, the student will be ill prepared to cope with future setbacks. 

Consider the following when building intrinsic motivation in students:

• Offer acknowledgement and encouragement rather than praise - "You have been trying so hard to learn those new words and now you are able to read the whole story. You must be so proud of yourself!"

• Use positive body language such as smiling, looking directly at the student, standing close, listening intently and assisting when needed.

• Acknowledge a student's efforts or progress without judgement using clear specific language. Offering descriptive feedback shows that you are paying close attention. For example "I noticed how you took the time to show the new student around the school. I am sure they appreciated the help. Thank you for doing that.'

• To a student with ADHD, "You did such a great job concentrating for all that time. You must be very proud of yourself!" or "Well done on following the class expectation of putting up your hand to speak. That was very respectful of others."

If you need to use corrective feedback, start with the positive and then the correction:

• "What a great answer you gave, you thought that through very well. Remember to put up your hand (model putting up your hand as you speak), so that everyone has a turn to give an answer."

• "I can see that you were very eager to put your book back on the shelf and help pack up, but remember to wait your turn rather than pushing in."

Generic responses such as 'great work' or 'that's terrific' are not constructively helpful. They provide no information to the student about what they have done well and why it is perceived as being done well and offer no guidance at all.

Responses that begin with 'Don't' and 'No' are not effective long term at all!