Recently retired from the California Department of Education, Andrew Laufer is writing a book about his life including periods as a butcher's helper, food service worker, construction laborer, animal research assistant, seasonal fire fighter, and janitor. In his youth, he hitch-hiked up and down the coast and out to Colorado numerous times providing context for hundreds of short stories.
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Settling Into Parenthood:
Anxiety Springs Eternal (Ages 38 and 40)
Settling Into Parenthood:
Anxiety Springs Eternal (Ages 38 and 40)
Our kids are grown now, but I still remember how nervous I was during those first few days of their lives. From the time Nancy’s water broke to the point when the kids started eating, pooping, and peeing regularly, every moment and experience was new. I had an unsettled “new parent” feeling with both kids.
Although I was well prepared when Nancy’s water broke, I still had to tell myself to remain calm when she woke me. We had taken Lamaze classes, so we were ready. Nancy was calm, but I was in urgent mode—just this side of hysteria. After twenty-seven hours of labor, Amanda joined us. Javier took nine hours.
We were relieved once we learned they were healthy, but there was still plenty to be unsettled about. Did we have everything we needed at home? Would they eat well? How would I know what they wanted? Would they thrive under our care? Would we be good parents? The first time we had to change their diapers just added to the uncertainty—at least for the first one. What the heck was this black, tarry stuff? After a worried phone call to the nurse, we found out it was meconium. Normal. Nothing to worry about. Whew. Now, were they going to eat?
Getting kids to eat is easy for most parents, but both of our skinny kids weren’t very interested in eating. Even with all my formal training as a Registered Dietitian, I didn’t understand the challenges that can go along with breastfeeding. I knew breastfeeding provides a complete source of nutrition, bolsters the immune system, and is a special bonding time for mother and child, but I was not aware that initiating breastfeeding could be difficult.
Nancy’s breasts were aching, and she needed to initiate breastfeeding as quickly as possible to get relief. I recall her sitting on the edge of the bed, baby in arms, trying to get them to suckle for what seemed like hours before they finally latched on. The babies were content sitting in her arms, but they weren’t hungry—or didn’t know what to do. I thought they’d latch on right away, but they didn’t, and I started to get worried. Having seen babies readmitted to hospitals for failure to thrive, I became more unsettled. Finally, to our relief, their instinct to suck kicked in, and we began to settle down.
At last, we were at the point of settling into parenthood. Thank God, everything was working as it should, and we were blessed to experience the joy of our new babies. Now that they are adults, we are still concerned for their well-being.
That will never end.
~ Andy Laufer
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