After six years in the Provincial Council team, I asked to do a Spiritual Direction course in Melbourne, in 2018. Then sometime in August the Provincial leader emailed, asking me to consider being in the Myanmar Formation team. I returned from Melbourne end of Nov. On Jan 3^rd, 2019, I started travelling to and fro about five times from Singapore to Myanmar and was stationed at the Formation House in Yangon. However, when I went for my medical check-up after my retreat in May, I discovered to my horror that besides having more white blood cells, my cancer marker was high. My colon, thank God, was clear while my stomach needed two scopes. Thankfully, the second scope confirmed that that it was not cancerous, but there were still ongoing cell changes, so I was put on medication and would be going for another scope before this year ends.

God answered my question through an article I read regarding suicide among the young. Somehow it spoke to my heart. I also went for a talk on Suicide among the Young. After a conversation with Sr Christina, I went with Br Dominic to speak to the Principal of Assumption English School. It was decided that I would be there three times a week for Pastoral Care. However, before the week was up, the Principal asked me to be a support staff in a Normal Technical class to teach English. When Covid19 started, my role changed. I was asked to help supervise the few students who returned to school for Home Based Learning due to various reasons. Then I was also asked to take over the two English classes of a staff who was going to be on maternity leave when term reopened in June. Somehow, I felt I was being led, reminding me of John’s Gospel. As it was a time of restriction, it was difficult to get someone else, I struggled within to say yes. I was conscious and fearful that the limited time would be further stretched for preparation of lessons, marking, new technology, teaching methods and skills needed to cope with challenging students. An article, Friends of God and Prophets from Presence, helped in my discernment process. Firstly, becoming friends of God, secondly, being transformed and then The Social Consequences of Conversion. “To know God means to know what has to be done”. It spoke about “moving towards the poor”, by “sustained contemplative prayer” and we do this by choosing “to leave our comfort zones and moving toward the marginalized”.

Thus, my journey began. Every time I feel that it was getting too difficult, I am mindful that I am not called to success, but to fidelity. Every morning, the school begins with a prayer ‘Let us remember we are in the holy presence of God’ reminding me God is a God of surprise and resists packaging. Also, the statue each staff is given, with the words ‘Those whom the world rejects must move you the most’ calls me to open wide my heart. I am grateful for these little moments of epiphany. A Hindu boy asked for a picture of Mother Mary or even a tiny statue. He is quite a giant yet the manner as he held and gazed so tenderly at Mary, was so heart-warming. God is here, but I cannot see. I need to take a long, loving gaze, so that I may Look and do Likewise.