Diss iz Krystal, hu iz da primary antagonist of my game, so basically, she is a total cow who is also a popstar & very mean, and she is totally out 2 get me & my matez! She is seen here having robbed my whole style right down 2 da fake tan.

Diss is Megaz, who is basically the poshest girl I know innit? She's also rate clever: she reckons she's a doctor or chemist or something like that??? All I know is, she lives in a giant mushroom in the middle of the woods and hands out amazing pillz & potionz, & is one of my very bestest ladybabe frendz!

Marlon iz sum bloke who livez on the trailer park near me. Reckon hes the dad of one of my kidz but not sure witch one... maybe Charnelisha or Raymondetta but how am i supposed 2 know????? Either way hez always on hand 4 helpful tutorials & shit like that

Diss iz Sheena, who is a very populer teenage girl from da big City, who is a huge fan of Krystal. But despite that we r still well good friendz innit??? I like 2 see myself as an inspiration 2 her, like an older sister with great advice on stuff like which fake tan 2 use (always Brandi's Xtreme Tan Van, see below).

OMG so basically these r the Brandi sisters! There r three of them & they r basically triplets or sisters or something like that. Anyway they r a total inspiration and have completely been mother figures to me 4 yearz.

Natalia iz another total babe & a half I know, hu is a mysterious woman with a very on-trend purple cape! Just liek me she has got magical powers, & appearz at opportune moments as sum sort of plot device or something.

Bogdan here is sum sort of tech genius from the internet or something xx. He alwayz has some sort of new amazing technical wizardry 2 show me,which is good as "wizard" is a bit magical sounding just like me!!!!!

The King of Bling is a v. fancy guy hu livez in a Castle!!! He iz really weird but in a nice way, & luves bling, shiny things, Kafka (da writer, not dat bloke from FF6 LOL XX) and diss raps. Weird collection of hobbys I kno but hu am I 2 judge?Xx