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Group: Caffeine Junkies

Posted on r/AmItheAsshole by springwatersea AITA for attacking my husband when he brought his side chick over? My husband and I have been separated for fifteen years. We haven't formally annulled the marriage, but our living arrangement is tolerable. I bring in a steady income, and he manages our finances and house. Plus, we rarely see each other; he's occupied with work trips, and I'm a stay-at-home author who works in my attic office, so the house is pretty quiet. I mostly only talk to my friend who has more or less moved in with me. I was spring cleaning a week ago and found a bridal veil in the guest room closet (which I admittedly tried on. It fit perfectly, which confirmed that he's finally found my perfect replacement). So not only has my husband been seeing another woman, but he also plans to marry her. Without ever telling me or formally divorcing me? I tore off the veil, threw it to the ground, and worked all the contents of the vacuum bag into the gauzy cloth because screw him. We've been legally married for twenty years, and he doesn't even have the deceny to tell me he's going to marry someone else? I brought the money into this relationship, I moved to another country for him--I made all the sacrifices, and this is how he treats me? For a week I went back and forth about confronting him. Yesterday, everything came to a head. Apparently the wedding was scheduled for that day, and my brother crashed it and revealed that my husband was already married... to me. I guess my brother finally grew some semblance of a backbone... he used to be so devoted to my husband. The bride demanded to meet me, and do you know what my husband does? He brings her into my room, without even knocking. The mocking, condescending way that this man introduced me as his wife was the final straw. I flew at him in a fury, slapping and swinging at him. I think I tried to strangle him at one point. My friend, who was in the room with me at the time, later told me I overreacted in front of that poor bride. AITA? 2,700 upvotes. 350 comments. 1 emoji. Comment from @janee1726. NTA. I was on the flip side of such an interaction, and I can assure you that it changed my whole perception of the man I was about to marry. Your reaction is more extreme than mine was, but I can't blame you for acting so savagely in the moment. I don't understand how anyone could lie to their fiancee and still profess love for them. I left him as fast as I could but the heartbreak is still fresh. I would recommend having a good support group because you seem pretty volatile and friends can help keep you grounded. It's not worth ruining your life over a relationship that's been dead for so long. Comment from @ffax_machine. NTA. It sounds like the man was never properly raised and doesn't know how to treat his partners. I worked under an employer who tried to do this exact thing adn I felt so bad for everyone involved. It's always so risky to have marriages between people with such different backgrounds, where one person is expected to risk their entire social standing and way of life for the other. I think this might be a blessing in disguise--now both you and the would-be bride know to stay far far away from this man. If you want help finding somewhere new to live, let me know. I have a lot of experience with managing this sort of thing.

Posted on r/unpopularopinion by springwatersea. Zoos are unethical and endorse animal cruelty. I haven’t been to the zoo since I was younger, and my husband (who loves animals, but barely finds time to care for his dog) suggested we go. While he enjoyed the visit, I couldn’t help but feel disgusted. The enclosures were at best a halfhearted attempt at masking the depressing environment the animals were trapped in. Without proper stimulation, many animals exhibited signs of either restlessness or lethargy. I watched an exotic bird pull its own feathers out as children stuck their fingers through the enclosure fence. A monkey gnawed at the bars of its cage until a zookeeper came over and hit the bars, scolding it all the while. I can’t imagine how any compassionate human being could find enjoyment in this place. Imagine living your life free in the vast beauty of nature, and then one day being whisked off to be trapped in a foreign land with nothing that gives you joy or excitement. And if you’re one of those people who say that animals don’t suffer like humans because they have lower intellect, then 1) there’s literally been studied that prove animals can get stressed and depressed just like people, and 2) if you can’t conceive of the idea that something is suffering just because they’re different from you, then maybe you’re the one with a lower intellect. 878 upvotes. 55 comments. Comment from @burn_ing-for-the-Lord I don't advocate for poor treatment of animals either, but in most cases, zoos keep their animals engaged in mentally and physically stimulating tasks, provide them with proper nutrition, and make sure exhibits are designed with the animal in mind. I think a lot of your aggression draws from your excessive comparison of humans to animals. We are not the same, as marked in Genesis 2:7, when God gives man the breath of life, which no other animal receives, and in Genesis 1:26-28, where man is deemed ruler of animals. The animals in captivity know no other life— they couldn't survive if released in the real world. So instead of focusing on the unfixable, | implore you to instead be grateful for the opportunity to experience God's creations that you may otherwise never be able to see in the life you live. Comment from @definitelynotrochester I am an avid zoo-goer, and I have never found a problem with it. So long as the animals are well cared for (furnished environment, better pay for zookeepers, etc.) | don't think the animals are so sound of mind as to miss a life they never knew they could have had. And the animals who weren't born into captivity typically end up in zoos because they need to be rescued, and are actually in a safer environment than before.

Post from r/changemyview by cherryBingram CMV: Going to a public university is just a waste of money on poor education. Back in the day, going to college and getting a degree actually used to mean something. It was a testament to your work ethic and intelligence. Not everyone was good enough to get into university, only those who were better than the rest. But now, public universities are just letting in any bozo who applies, which just produces incompetent graduates in the end, not to mention that the quality of education at public universities is honestly laughable. During my time as an undergrad, so many of the teachers couldn't tell when students used ChatGPT or not for their essays. I even used it myself sometimes to test them because any competent teacher should be able to tell, and they never could. These are the people that are supposed to be teaching us? Public universities are even teaching classes on the dumbest, randomest things that won't help anyone get a job, only joke degrees. Incompetent students are getting taught a poor education by equally incompetent professors, and all for a tuition equivalent of highway robbery. If you actually want to get a higher education, you should aim for an ivy league school or nothing at all. The names Harvard and Yale still mean something, at least, and let's be real: a quality education was never going to be cheap anyway, so if tuition is going to send you into debt, you might as well go into debt and get something useful out of it. 1,900 Upvotes. 340 Comments. Comment from @burn_ing-for-theLord Because I was a cancer patient for most of my life, my family spent so much money on my treatments and hospital bills that we had hardly anything to put towards my education. We've never been anywhere wealthy enough to afford something like an ivy league school, and though public universities can be expensive, they are way more affordable than something like Harvard. Does that mean | shouldn't have been able to have some kind of higher education? I learned a lot during my time as an undergrad, which I'm really grateful for, and I'd argue that some kind of education is better than no education at all. Comment from @janee1726 The problem is that you're assuming that just because you had a poor experience at a public university means that that's a universal experience. I attended a public university, and yes, | had some awful professors, but I also had some excellent ones who really cared about my education and mentored me. I still have connections with them today, which has made for valuable networking (another benefit of college). With my “joke degree,” I've been able to gain several teaching positions (well paying, even) since graduation. College is really what you make of it, and evidently, some people are going to make more of it than others.

Post on r/relationship_advice by springwatersea My Husband Married Me For Money and Now Wants to Leave Me for Another Woman. For context, my family is very traditional. I was taught growing up that marriage is a woman's highest duty, so when I met the man I thought I loved, we were married in less than a year. Things were okay at first; we loved each other and even moved from my home in Jamaica to his flat in England. This is where things began to go downhill. I come from a wealthier background, and when we married, we put our money (mostly mine) into a joint bank account. But as of late, I noticed that large amounts were being transferred to an unfamiliar account. When I brought this up, he grew defensive saying that as the man of the house, finances were his to manage. Shortly after, he changed our account password, and I can't access it anymore. Now he’s grown so distant that | can’t even tempt him in bed. I brought up marriage counseling, and while he was hesitant to “pay money for some stranger to butt in on our relationship” (which is funny, considering it's my money that would be paying for it), I finally managed to convince him to try out a few sessions. In one session, the counselor said that having a healthy amount of time alone helps couples grow closer. Somehow, he twisted that into “we should have separate rooms from now on” and suggested I take the attic because “it's so much more spacious and has a better view". I agreed to try it for two weeks, and things seemed to be improving. He was kinder to me, and we spent more time together. I even met a friend during that time, a no-nonsense older woman, Gracie, who reminds me of my nanny back home. But now my husband is cold and distant again. He leaves for weeks at a time on work trips, and always seems annoyed to have to come back home again. He avoids looking me in the eyes and I catch fleeting expressions of disgust flicker across his face whenever he sees me. I'm heartbroken and confused and a bit scared - this country is foreign to me, I still don’t have access to my own money, and I know no one except Gracie. She stays in my room in the attic often; she must also be lonely and we often spend days solely in each other's company. I can't help but wonder what caused such a change in my husband's attitude towards me. I suspect that my manner is so different from an English girl that I can't measure up now that we're back in England. Is there another woman in the picture, and what can I do to get my husband to stop hating me? 651 Upvotes. 877 Comments. Comment from @cherryBingram This may seem harsh, but I don't think you're trying hard enough to get him back. Men are easy, if you say the right words to them and dress the right way they'll fall over themselves to lavish you with attention. You say you think you're so different from an English girl that he started cheating on you the second he returned to England. Then turn yourself into an English girl! Go out into society and copy the way they talk, the kinds of clothes they wear, how they carry themselves. Figure out what kind of women your husband enjoys spending time with— whether they're a demure blushing maiden or full of witty quips, whether they wear low-cut blouses or leave more to the imagination. You just have to apply yourself. Comment from @eliza_reeds_books Have you considered this is a sign from God? You now have a room of your own to meditate and read the word of God without fear of interruption. Maybe He is withholding your husband's heart from you because He wants you to grow closer to Him first. I think you will find great comfort and joy when you divert your mind from earthly things like money, and instead think upon the great mercy of our Savior. You say you're lonely, so why not turn to the Friend who's always there for you? Why not turn to the one who loved you so much He died on the cross for your sins? Instead of wallowing about all day long, give yourself a strict schedule; plan when you'll wake up and when you'll eat and when you'll read the Bible, etc. You'll find that the day goes by much faster and you don't feel nearly as lonely or worried. Comment on @eliza_reeds_books’s comment from @TheOnlineCalvinist This advice really shows what a godly, disciplined character you have. It's always difficult to find people like you in today’s day and age, especially women. Have you thought about becoming a missionary? The Bible exhorts us to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ to those less fortunate so that their souls may too be saved. Please DM me if you want to know more about how to spread our Savior’s lifesaving truth to other countries. Also, have you thought about marriage at all?

Post on r/AmItheAsshole by cherryBingram AITA for dumping my fiance because an Etsy witch told me to? I (25F) had been going out with my fiance (39M) for a while. Our families run in the same circles, so I've known him almost my entire life, and supposedly, he had a huge amount of money. That's definitely not what matters though. At this point, I thought I knew everything about him. But about a week ago, he hosted a party at his very large estate. Everyone was talking, and at one point, the subject of fortune telling came up. My fiance thought that it would be funny to pull up one of those Etsy witches, the ones you pay five pounds to light a candle and burn some cheap kitchen spices. You know, the works, but it's not like he couldn't afford it. We all decided to request a spell, and of course, I volunteered to go first. I wanted him to see that I cared about his interests. Not just golfing and traveling, but inexpensive little scams. So I asked the Etsy witch about our relationship. I thought that I would be getting a cute little message that we're twin flames or that we'd have a happy marriage filled with prosperity and fun vacations. What I wasn't expecting was an almost immediate response telling me that this supposed “rich man” who I had been intent on marrying has been LYING to me all this time. Apparently, he hardly has any money. I was distraught. Again, money is definitely not what matters, but if he was lying about his income, what else could he not be telling me? I can't afford to spend my time on poor-minded individuals who aren't interested in telling the truth. I couldn't bear to be there much longer, but when I left, he didn’t even try to come after me. I haven't spoken to him since, and I don't plan to. He hasn't reached out, in an utter lack of class, and I even heard he’s talking to another girl now. So AITA for dumping him? 726 Upvotes. 283 Comments. Comment from @fair-and-accomplished NTA. What he is is a scammer. If my self-proclaimed rich fiance turned out to be lying to me, I'd have him pay emotional compensation and never speak to him again. Good on you for getting out of there! It isn't just a number he's been lying to you about. It's the kind of life you'll have together, everything you can expect from being married to him. What kind of a person leads someone on like that when you're literally engaged?! Don't waste your time on men who can't give you what you want. Go get that bag girl. Comment from @janee1726. YTA. I counted three times where you say money and expense don't matter, and yet you seem to care a lot about whether or not you get to have that huge house and those golfing trips. Why did you decide to go out with this man in the first place? Was there any part of his character that you liked and admired? Was he smart? Funny? I wouldn't know, because you've barely pointed out anything about him other than his house, his age, and his money (or lack thereof). It sounds like you both need someone you can be on more equal footing with. Comment from @definitelynotrochester YTA. But this doesn’t mean that you still shouldn't leave him. It sounds like he is about as interested in continuing the relationship as you are, so for the sake of his time and yours, it's best if you just end it here. As someone currently in a new relationship, the two of you need to be on the same page and fully honest with each other. No secrets.

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