Nonfiction

Discovering My Hockey

As I left the locker room filled with all the old men in my noob hockey class, I had been thinking about talking to Tori, my hockey teacher about whether or not there was a proper team of people my age I could join. I wasn't going to join right away. I just wanted to ask initially if the team existed and if it was not too late for me to join that year. I asked Tori about it and she answered very enthusiastically that yes there was and practically dragged me over to one of the team coaches and thrust me into a conversation with Gomez and Flynn. Thinking back on it now I have a feeling that they may have pressured me into joining right away. Because they were both enthusiastic to have me join but said that very soon it would be too late to join so I kind of quietly just signed up right then and there. After walking out of the building I sorta had to stop and think, “Wait what?” And about 2 weeks later I started playing on the team.

My first day on the team was so awkward. Not only had these guys been playing together for basically the last 12 years but they've also been playing together on this team for at least a month. I was definitely the awkward newcomer. Not even including the fact that I was a year older then all of them. I remember getting all geared up and heading out onto the ice the first time. I actually was on the wrong side of the ice with the younger tier at first but quickly switched thankfully. Nobody on the team hardly said anything to me at all. But that was to be expected. They had absolutely no no idea who I was. The coach had introduced me to them and they had said high but still. It was like I was in a foreign country and these people were speaking another language entirely. Possibly one of the most awkward experiences of my life. And yet, I enjoyed it. Probably not to the same degree of enjoyment I get out of practice nowadays. But it was still very thrilling and I chose to come back the next day. And then I chose to come back again.

Part of me knew I would never really be able to keep up with these other players on the team because I hadn’t played hockey my whole life, but ultimately I didn’t really care. I had fun. I had a type of fun I had never really had before. The only other sport I have ever played in a consistent manner, (with exception to rowing, which is really its own thing and not a traditional sport) was T-ball when I was 4-5 years old which I hated. My coach hated me and made my whole team hate me and was a complete bully to me and ultimately, I wasn’t good at it. Finally my mom let me quit the sport after a ball got hit into my face. And I went down in a game. Then, in front of the crowd, my coach literally slapped me to try and get me, a 4 year old to stop crying and shut up. After that My mom stormed down and sucker punched him square in the jaw knocking him to the ground. She then scooped me up in her arms and we walked out of the field with the whole crowd of parents watching us. Afterward she took me to get some ice cream and told me that I never had to go back or see anyone there again. And I never did.

But playing hockey was different. I had fun. Real fun. My coaches were great. Super nice but also strict instructors who knew shit about hockey. And I slowly started to make friends on the team. Blake and Evan. Blond “pretty boy” twins that love the game. But it was slow at first. Just sort of distant HI's's and hellos. But those too have grown to be my closest friends on the team and some super close friends in life.

When I first joined they were getting ready for their first game of the season. Which would take place a week after I first started playing. I quickly opted out of that. I felt in no way ready to play a game right away. After the game happened I returned for practice and learned that there would be a game that Saturday as well. Only two weeks after I first joined up. I was nervous, but my coaches did persuade me into playing. Surprising even myself when I said yes. Needless to say it wasn't my best game ever. In fact it was one of my worst by far. But there was only one way to go from there. Up. But I've come a long way since then. With the last game I played in before this most recent lockdown being the first time I scored a goal. So I've come a long way. And despite all the horrible smells and complete lack of hygiene these boys have, Despite receiving a slapshot to the neck at practice, and despite and the horse shit Evan, Blake and I put each other through, I love My Hockey. Can't wait to get back to it.