Timmy's Brawl Fest

Thrice Damned
By Matt

Boris Devilboon was the tortured servant of Ramses Overdark. Devilboon's powers of sorcery and prognostication left much to be desired. He was a pale wretch of a man with little friends, save for the devil creatures of his own conjuring.

Inevitably Ramses Overdark executed Devilboon, only to raise the poor wizard from the dead just so he could torture him further. Now more monster than man, Devilboon had grown in power and ambition. It was this power that attracted the Sorceress Queen. Together they studied the dark arts in service to Ramses.

When Tetsu came to slay Overdark, Boris Devilboon siezed his chance to defend his master and win back favor. Alas, Tetsu was too strong and slayed Devilboon for a 2nd time.

The body was barely cold when the Sorceress Queen took Devilboon's body, stripped flesh from bone and arrayed them in a circle among arcane scrawlings. The deck represents her performing the rites to bring Devilboon back for the third time and together they would have their revenge.

Blast from the Past
By Tim H

Crossing over from the underworld, Nebuchadnezzar is a powerful warrior and builder-king of legend. He looks to reclaim his kingdom by controlling the board with discard or counters and by overwhelming his enemies with mystical war machines. Having been undead, he's able to call upon long buried spells and raise his army back from the grave.

Lady Evangela's Spellbook
By Daniel

Lady Evangela wants to bring peace to the people of Dominaria, and sometimes peace is created through superior firepower. By suppressing the warlike.

So the Lady wants to grind her adversaries' ability to wage war to a screeching halt. If some suffer that more may live in peace, that's a price worth paying.

Xira's Ball
By Tom Atwood

Come one, come all, to Xira’s Ball! Over the Mountains and through the Forests, deep in the Swamps of Urborg, a party awaits – one that’s sure to Shatter your expectations. Guests enter through the Wild Stone garden, where Birds and shiny Rings can be found, as well as the occasional Dead Druid Skeleton. There is Dancing galore – Deafening music, Disk-o, and sometimes even the Twist! Guests wander the Maze of Tomes in Xira’s library, and admire the Pyrotechnics show put on by her Royal Triskelion Queen. Then, joy starts to turn to Terror. The Meek and the proud alike are humbled as their pride Crumbles to Ashes. Paralyzed and Stripped of their defenses, guests can only watch as Xira, with her recurrent card draw ability, Regrows one Torment after another. They are set upon by Ants, Spiders, and an entire Hive of wasps. Sometimes, when she is in a particularly good mood, Xira puts on her Ring of power and Disintegrates her guests herself.

It is only then, at the end, that they realize the truth: Xira’s “ball” was never about costumes or dancing… she had planned for it to be a Fireball all along.

Demonic Forethought
By PlagueDr

As a boy I always loved summer. Warm days filled with fishing in the creek and checking on mushrooms for mother. It seemed the whole world around me awoke from the dark winter to enjoy a short time together before the long days turned away.

Sometimes I would sneak through the woods past my little fort within the trees to play around the old stone wells and mine shafts, pretending to be on a wild expedition. Singing hymns and chants into their entrances, too timid to actually enter.

Back home after supper, mother would read our bible to me. I remember rolling her globes around, the firelight dancing on the eyes and wings of her heirloom as she recited stories of wounded angels, powerful wizardesses, and fatherly demons who watched over and protected us.
These were our favourites. Masterful gods held to the ground by the evil Radjan, jealous of true power.

Everything in this life has a price. From the wheat fields to the black gates.
Mother always said “Life is precious, if you can find it”
I wish she was here now, it’s been too long. Perhaps one day I will be humbled enough to give myself in the same manner, and become one of the fallen like her.

Looking back, I’m not mad at losing the easier days. I just wish that instead of looking up at the stars I was staring deep into underworld.

Endless Masquerade

The royal masquerade is just that, a false presentation to the kingdom, that all is well within their realm. Xira Arien knows that her time is running out to vanquish these threats. In the eastern taiga, the legendary Adun Oakenshield is on the march, conscripting the likes of Bartel Runeaxe, the elves of llanowar, argothian pixies and even the scavenger folk. All who see him feel tranquility and terror at the same time. They know that if they fall in battle beside him that their souls will enter the paradise that is promised by the bird god. Xira Arien walks down the aisle and opens a secret passage to that lead to the depths of her castle. She descends into darkness until she comes into a single room with a candle and a book called the Jalum Tome. As she glides across the room she hears a raspy voice,

“Is my regrowth ready?”
“Not yet.” Xira replies impatiently. “I know you nearly avoided fate in the badlands fighting robot army of the Su-Chi, Triskelion, and the Juggernaut-
The sengir vampire suddenly flew from the ceiling and landed behind Xira. She could hear his disgusting sucking noises vampires make as they smell the air. She knew he wanted her blood. This makes her uneasy but she knows she cannot show any fear.
“I also floated across the fissure, fought off the sledge troll and was struck by a lightning bolt to retrieve what you asked for.”
“That is indeed what you did. However, I am the Xira the one who traversed the Bayou to search the crumbled City of Brass. As you know vampire, it was there were I found the ancient Sylvan Library. Once I put the fellwar stone inside the library the wheel of fortune spun. I performed the dark ritual of the demonic tutor which summoned the hell’s caretaker. Without me you cannot have your regrowth.”
“And without me you would not have your Rukh Egg. Shivan will not be pleased when she finds out that you took her child Xira. I made sure that the red elemental blast is forked back to you and not I.”
Xira squinted her eyes in anger. Well then, let’s hope that the hurricane and desert twister keeps Shivan away long enough so she cannot shatter what we have been striving for.”
Xira and Sengir float down another corridor until they enter a large room that hides the device that will fuel their Rukh army.
The Xenic Poltergeist looked frightened.
“I..I did it!” he exclaimed with amazement wonder and awe. The Time Vault seemed to look alive.

Xira’s mouth slowly turned into a smile. She took out of her pack, Jandor’s saddlebags, which had belonged to Aden, and begun pouring mana into a spell.
Her masquerade was about to be an everlasting party.

And now, for some Dad Jokes about Tor Wauki

Stangg: How did you get invited to the Archery Club?
Tor: I just had to pull a few strings.

Lady Evangelina received an anonymous gift. How did she know it was from Tor Wauki?
It came with a perfect bow.

What did Tor Wauki say to Lord Magnus when he was rambling on and on?
"Get to the point!"

While R2D2 was playing chess with Tor, what did C-3PO say?
"Let Wauki win."

Barty Like It's 1994
By Tim A

Meet Barty: SWM, 27; loves big axes, lengthy keyword explanations, and misplaced modifiers. Hates Mazes, lepers, and being mistaken for an elf. Inviting you all to the Mirrorball Disco at Hammerheim — but ladies, leave those glass slippers at home, because tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1994!

Aladdin's Trinkets
By Robert

One day as Aladdin was wandering the desert he came across a majestic Ivory Tower. He searched the tower and found a few books that spoke of wondrous artifacts with magical abilities. Aladdin took the books and roamed the mountains looking for these artifacts. After some days he came to the mountain town of Hammerheim where a Dwarven Weaponsmith told him of the abandoned workshops of Urza and Ashnod.

Aladdin quickly went looking for these places and after searching for several days he passed Urza's abandoned mine and power plant and near Urza's tower he found an Atog eating the remains of various robots. He sneaked past the beast and entered the tower where he found a magical ring. This ring enabled him to call forth the devastating destructive powers of lightning and fire which he used to disintegrate the feeding Atog and escape the tower.

Armed with his ring Aladdin continued the search for Ashnods workshop. He wandered the mountains for several more days, past the remains of Mishra's old factory until he found Ashnods workspace. He entered the place and found Ashnod's Altar, a strange transmogrant that seemed to contain the remains of something that once was alive, and the remains of a su-chi. between the remnants of various failed experiments, next to a worn out Mana Vault he found a magical lamp. With this lamp he could summon mighty beasts like fire breathing dragons, Rock Hydras, Granite Gargoyles and various Elementals.

Armed with his Ring and his Lamp Aladdin he dominated the surrounding lands, stealing whatever he could get his hands on, shattering and detonating what was too big to carry...

Boris's Posse
By Martin

Boris Devilboon has finally finished reconstructing his lair in Urborg, after last years Craw Worm incident. Now it was time to invite his friends for a night of Old School Magic. So he sent his demonic servants out to deliver the invitations.

Everybody came! Lady Orca, Axelrod Gunnarsson, the Lord of the Pit, Pavel Maliki, Barktooth Warbeard, Tor Wauki and his girlfriend the Sorceress Queen (who somehow thought, this was a costume party and were dressed up as Hawkeye and Scarlet Witch). All came to celebrate Boris´s new lair.

To sate the appetite of his guests, Boris got the biggest Egg he could find, and asked the Sisters of the Flame to help him make his famous Rukh omlette. Since these kinds of Gatherings can become a bit rough, he made arrangements with Hell´s Caretaker, to resurrect all fallen guests, if need arises.

The parrty was a huge success, until an uninvited guest showed up. It was his old nemesis, who crashed Boris´s last party, nearly one year ago. Another Craw Worm incident would not happen again. Boris had made arrangements for that!

The Lady of the Souls
By Frederik

The world was at peace when rumours of evil began to spread across the lands. From the Islands out at sea came a malevolent Efreet seeking mastery over the free folk. With his powerful sorcery, he can summon powerful beasts, control and bend the minds and magic of others, and even influence the course of time. On the Plains, a lone Preacher wanders from city to city. Harmful to behold, his voice carries the message of power and enslavement. With words forged from darkness his clever tongue enslaves the free folk, forces knights lay down their arms, and even calls down the angels from heaven, all to serve his cause. The free people rose against the new powers. Their armies crashed against the armies of evil. They sent everything they had, and victory was near! But they were all deceived… For behind the two evils stood an even mightier power. Hidden deep in the heart of the forest, protected by mighty Djinns, a sorceress of unfathomable strength and beauty controlled this triumvirate. Hers was the power of the earth, the sea and the land. She owned the power of vision, the power of manipulation, the power of total control… The power over souls! And her name… is Rubinia.

Boris Descends
By Victor

Boris was not always know as the Devilboon. He was once a powerful artificer who wilded the power of fire and lightning from his mountain home. Boris became obsessed with bringing life to his mechanical creations and as his obsession grew, he began searching for the mythical Gate to Phyrexia. His search brought him to the Ebon Stronghold. It was here that he met the Ebon Praetor who convinced him to enter the great Breeding Pit at the centre of the stronghold. While it was true that the Gate to Phyrexia could be reached from within the pit, there were many other things lurking in the depths that the Preator hoped to lure with Boris's power. Boris found the Gate to Phyrexia, but not before the dark master, the Lord of the Pit found him! And so the nefarious plans of the Ebon Praetor came to pass, Boris returned from the pit forever tainted and marked by the Lord of the Pit - he was reborn as Boris Devilboon! Gifted with dark powers to twist the minds and souls of his adversaries, and raise armies of thrulls and demons to feed the never ending hunger of the Lord of the Pit and it's minions - the Ebon Praetor, the Fallen Angel and Hell's Caretaker.

Legendary & Dominant
By Elmar

Lady Rubinia is the ultimately dominant leading mistress and head of command. Although she is a demanding personality, she mastered the art of temptation and lure in order to draw enemy forces on her side of the war. She also taught this concept of intrigue to her vassals, namely Seasinger, Old Man of the Sea, Preacher and Willow Satyr. Once these masters of propaganda succeed in turning the enemy forces into defectors, they will use and abuse them for their very own purposes: They will sacrifice them in the Diamond Valley, turn them into death-craving Berserkers, metamorphosed them into other entities or urge them to duel the enemy in the notorious arena. Lady Rubinia is ruthless and ambitious and will not hesitate to make brutal use of her black whip to send the defectors against the line of their former comrades...