Exploring the concepts of artistic burnout and self-doubt, my work focuses on the constant frustrations I experience while striving for success and satisfaction in my art. In this body of work, I critique the overwhelming feeling of spreading oneself thin creatively, and losing the passion behind making art. I’m questioning the demands of my personal quantity versus quality, or the consistent struggle I have between what is asked from me and what I want to pursue creatively. Personifying the works into illustrative characters, I envision how the work has “me” within its design; By destroying the pieces, I in turn destroy “myself”. Working within the parameters of paper, colored pencils, ink, and acrylic paint, I allude to the concept of unfinished works and plans, ideas, and pieces that never make it to completion. The final piece is quite literally this buildup of discarded remnants of what I once had a passion for. Each piece shows a different way I gave up whether through hatred of what I was making or through lack of interest in where the piece was going. I want this work to show that the work that artists toss aside is still very much alive and it’s up to us to complete it.

My work challenges the idea of heavenly judgement; we can never truly escape the eyes of God. My motive is rooted in an internal conversation between my queer identity and the faith that was instilled in me. I examine how I interact with the concept of sin and how my faith has formed perceptions of love, masculinity, and family. I call into question how close God is in proximity to humanity and ponder if what we are taught in church is God’s word or a distortion of him. I strive to understand the expectations, both heavenly and earthly, that I have imposed on myself.

Growing up in the church, the pervasive nature of God was a constant reminder that we are never truly free from scrutiny. The notion of always being watched by a power of superiority led me to explore ideas about the divine and the mortal with this body of work. I utilize visual effects present in the church to exude power over the congregation. The larger-than-life figures, carved from wood, painted in gold, and draped in fabric loom above the viewer. The three figures act as my interpretation of the Holy Trinity, a doctrine I often question. The symmetry and otherworldly appearances of insects appeal to me. I admire and fear them. I use the insects to represent my feelings of apprehension within the church. The gold painted eyes, floating within the halos, signify the all-seeing eyes of God.

The work reaches beyond an established iconography by alluding to a queer presence within religious art. I use the functionality of the mirror as well as the metaphor of reflection to visually construct a space of immersion. The mirrors are placed opposite the large wood carvings. Engraved on the surface are the sins of the flesh; established doctrines that deem humanity “unholy”. The depictions are raw, alluding to male sensuality. This imagery is meant to juxtapose the conservative and stoic nature of the triptych. When looking in the mirrors, the viewer is caught in the crossfire as they see themselves observing the sins of humanity while the reflection of the triptych brings judgement unto them.