Grief 101

Guide to Tending Your Grief:
Tips for Taking Good Care

1. Lower Expectations For Yourself
   Try to be gentle with yourself. Recall the list on page one - grief is a full-body experience and can be exhausting. Try to limit yourself to only 1-3 activities a day, depending on your stamina. Be flexible and nimble, and ask that your loved ones be too. Make plans, but let people know that you may need to cancel if you’re not up to it when the day comes.
   
   

2. Focus On The Basics
   Get sleep, eat well, balance movement and rest, brush your teeth, wash your face, and take a shower. Trust me - there may be days when these tasks might take every ounce of your mental capacity to achieve. Give yourself permission to miss a few of these on hard days. Do your best to avoid habit-forming coping strategies that are life-limiting, such as drinking alcohol, smoking, overspending, overexercise, gambling, and so on.
   
   

3. Ask and Let Your Friends Support You
   Have fun and laugh with people who help you smile. When someone asks how they can help you, tell them honestly. Let someone start, turn, and fold your laundry. Let someone do the grocery shopping for you. Let them buy you or bring you a meal. Let them do anything except walk your dog for you – that fresh air and connection with your pet will do you good. 

4. Let the Natural World Support You
   There is endless evidence of the physical and mental health benefits of being outside. My favorite fact is that when it’s raining outside, the molecules in the air become ionized. This means being outside while it’s raining isn’t just serene and melancholy; it’s also literally creating stability in your body by balancing the ions in free radicals. So, as much as you can, spend time outside! Listen to the birds, go on a hike in the forest, go swimming or kayaking in a lake/river/ocean, the options are endless.
   
   

5. Find or Maintain Hobbies that Fulfill / Distract / Inspire You
   This is where you breathe meaning into your new life. Make sure the life you are living still feels worth your time. Don’t bury yourself in your day job if it is not fulfilling your spirit. Instead, prioritize time to listen to music, read books, learn a new artistic skill such as ceramics, painting, playing an instrument, learn a new sport, improve your fitness, get involved in social issues - anything that feels full of meaning to you in this brief, beautiful life you get to live.

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