Safety & Policies

Community-Based Mentoring Ground Rules: Policy & Agreement

The following ground rules outline the roles and responsibilities expected of parties participating in our Community-Based Mentoring Program. Big Brothers Big Sisters of Connecticut expects adherence to the terms of this policy: 

1. Once matched, the Big and Little will be assigned a Match Support Specialist. The Match Support Specialist will be in touch on a monthly basis to monitor the progress of the match and administer surveys. The Volunteer, Caregiver and Child must stay in touch with their Match Support Coordinator and notify them of any problems or changes in address or phone number.

2. The Big and Little commit to meeting 6-10 hours per month for a minimum of twelve months.

3. The Big does not become involved in the discipline of the Little. The volunteer is a friend, not a parent.

4. Time spent together should be away from the Little’s home. We encourage matches to experience events and activities out in the community to begin building a strong friendship.

5. The Big should not regularly take other friends and family members of the Little on outings unless they are also approved members of our program.

6. The Big and Caregiver will share the cost of all activities. Specials gifts beyond the normal of an average match activity are not encouraged, but if the Big would like to give a gift to the Little they should discuss it with their Match Support Specialist and Caregiver prior to purchasing the gift.

7. The Big checks with the Caregiver when the Little is picked up and informs the Caregiver where they will be going and when they will return. The Caregiver will be home when the Little returns from the outing with the Big or will make arrangements for a responsible adult to be there.

8. The Big and Little will respect personal space and avoid inappropriate physical contact (e.g. tickling, wrestling, sitting on laps, backrubs, etc.).

9. The Big is expected to comply with all local, state and federal laws. There is to be no alcohol or drug use before meeting or in the presence of the Little. There is to be no tobacco use in the presence of the Little.

10. The Big and Little will follow all traffic laws and rules whenever they are in a motor vehicle.  The Big and the Little will wear seat belts at all times.  The Big shall refrain from the using their cell phones to make or receive calls, and to send or receive texts.

11. The Big and Little will never participate in overnight visits as they are strictly prohibited by the agency. 

12. The Big and Littles will not participate in any match outings involving a visit to the Big’s home during the first 90 days of the match relationship.

13. If applicable, whenever a Little visits the home of a Big, weapons, firearms and ammunition will be made inaccessible at all times to a child while in the Volunteer Big’s care.  All weapons and firearms must be locked and unloaded, and ammunition kept in a separate place. 

14. Bigs are to monitor Littles if they are using the internet during a match activity.  Descriptions of match activities on the Big’s social media pages such as Facebook should be appropriate and carried out with the approval of the Little and the Little’s Caregiver.  Bigs should not “friend” Littles on social media.

15. Big Brothers Big Sisters of Connecticut reserves the right to deactivate or close any match at any time.

Community-Based Program Match Agreement (for Bigs)

The below items outline our formal expectations, policies, and guidelines that will help set the framework for your match relationship with your Little. You have entered this Match Agreement in order to formalize your match relationship and to help set clear, transparent expectation with your Little and their parent/guardian. Your Little and their Parent/Guardian have completed a similar form to ensure that each match party knows what to expect from one another.

Big Match Agreement Consent & Authorization

I understand my primary goal is to give my Little an opportunity to establish a meaningful and trusting one to one relationship.  In order to do this I will do the following:

I commit to meaningful, consistent, and committed program participation by: 

• SEEING my Little for 6-10 hours a month; weekly communication is strongly encouraged

• REMEMBERING I am making a commitment to remain as a Big for a minimum of twelve months

• BEING ON TIME and call my Little and their Parent/Guardian if plans need to be changed. Be CONSISTENT, DEPENDABLE and do NOT make promises I cannot keep.

• ENCOURAGING my Little to share in making decisions about our activities

• KNOWING I can share my personal feelings which would encourage my Little to do the same

• SETTING realistic expectations and limits for my Little.

• NOT SPENDING excessive amounts of money on my Little. and focusing on low cost/no cost activities.

• RECOGNIZING that there will be various on-going training opportunities throughout your tenure as a Big that are designed to enhance your experiences and impact. Training will include topics around positive youth development, supporting academic success, exploring the impacts of trauma, and much more. 

I understand and consent to the following limits on match activities: 

• MATCH OUTINGS are to be limited to the local geographic area (roughly 25-50 miles around a child’s home) during the first six months of the match.

• ANY VISITS TO THE BIG’S HOME are strictly forbidden during the first 90 days of the match. 

• OVERNIGHT VISITS are strictly forbidden throughout the entire life of your match with BBBS of CT.

I commit to maintaining my relationship with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Connecticut by doing the following: 

• SUSTAINING monthly contact with my Match Support Coordinator, which will include information centered on child safety, activities, and any issues impacting the relationship.

• NOTIFYING my Match Support Coordinator, of any changes in m contact information, including a new telephone number, street address, and/or email address. 

• UNDERSTANDING if monthly contacts are not maintained, the match will be closed with BBBS of CT.

• NOTIFYING my Match Support Coordinator, immediately if there are any issues of concern or if for any reason regular contact with my Little is interrupted.

• RESPONDING to any calls, emails or letters received. 

• UNDERSTANDING if any of the program policies, responsibilities, and expectations outlined above are not adhered to and maintained, your match will be subject to closure with BBBS of CT. 

Community-Based Program Match Agreement (for Littles & Caregivers)

The below items outline our formal expectations, policies, and guidelines that will help set the framework for your match relationship with your Big. You have entered this Match Agreement in order to formalize your Child's match relationship and to help set clear, transparent expectation with your Big. Your Big has completed a similar form to ensure that each match party knows what to expect from one another.

Child Match Agreement Assent

I understand to have a friend I have to be one.  I promise to treat my Big as a friend.  In order to do this I will do the following: 

I commit to meaningful, consistent, and committed program participation by: 

• UNDERSTANDING that friendship doesn’t mean my Big has to buy me things. 

• KNOWING I can share my feelings with my Big.

• BEING READY on time for my activity with my Big.

• CALLING my Big, since they like to get phone calls too. I will call as soon as possible if I cannot go on a planned visit. I will not change plans unless absolutely necessary.

• HELPING my Big decide what we will do together. 

• SHOWING appreciation by thanking my Big for the activity.

• REMEMBERING I am making a commitment to remain as a Little for a minimum of twelve months.

I commit to maintaining my relationship with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Connecticut by doing the following: 

• SPEAKING WITH my Match Support Coordinator, when I receive her call. I also know I can call on my own if I have any questions or concerns.

Parent/Guardian Match Agreement Consent and Authorization

I understand my actions play a major role in my Child's relationship with their Big.  In order to help them I will: 

I commit to meaningful, consistent, and committed program participation by: 

• GIVING their friendship time to grow; knowing it will not develop overnight.

• BEING mindful of the Big's schedule by being flexible. 

• ENCOURAGING my Child to be ready on time. Call the Big if plans need to be changed. Do not change plans unless necessary.

• REMEMBERING this mentoring relationship is between my Child and their Big.  Do not ask that others be included on outings. 

• NOTIFYING the Big of other arrangements if I cannot be home when my Child returns.

• UNDERSTANDING that all children under 13 years of age are required to have a parent/guardian or responsible adult must be home at time of drop off.

• NOT DEPRIVING my Child of the visit with their Big as a means of discipline; however, the activity can be changed.

I understand and consent to the following limits on match activities: 

• MATCH OUTINGS are to be limited to the local geographic area (roughly 25-50 miles around a child’s home) during the first six months of the match.

• ANY VISITS TO THE BIG’S HOME are strictly forbidden during the first 90 days of the match. 

• OVERNIGHT VISITS are strictly forbidden throughout the entire life of your match with BBBS of CT.

I commit to maintaining my relationship with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Connecticut by doing the following: 

• SUSTAINING monthly contact with my Match Support Coordinator, will include information centered on child safety, activities, and any issues impacting the relationship.

• CONTACTING my Match Support Coordinator immediately if there is anything about the relationship which concerns me.

• RESPONDING to any calls, emails or letters received.

• NOTIFYING my Match Support Coordinator, immediately if for any reason regular contact with my Child is interrupted. 

• UNDERSTANDING if monthly contacts are not maintained, the match will be closed with BBBS of CT.

• UNDERSTANDING if any of the program policies, responsibilities, and expectations outlined above are not adhered to and maintained, your match will be subject to closure with BBBS of CT. 

Children Visiting Volunteer's Home

We foster meaningful connections between youth and adults. Sometimes, that may include youth visits to a volunteer's home. Safety is our number one priority in these interactions.   At minimum, the following criteria must be met:

1.      A waiting period of at least 3 months before a child can visit a volunteer's home.

2.      Documented pre-approval by Caregiver and Match Support Specialist prior to the first outing to the volunteer’s home; and

3.      The Match Support Specialist provides on-going professional monitoring of the match’s healthy relationship development, including regular documented assessment of match safety levels and frequency of match activities to the volunteer's home throughout the life of the match.

Agency staff will provide ongoing support to all match parties and will address the occurrence and frequency of visits to the volunteer's home, as well as explore what activities are taking place to ensure adherence to agency rules. Agency Staff will also continue to reinforce child personal safety with the Child, Caregiver, and the Volunteers.

Digital Technology and Social Networking

Big Brothers Big Sisters of Connecticut fosters meaningful connections between youth and adults. We understand that, for many of the young people we work with, social media provides a central way to communicate. However, communications between Littles and adults on social media present risk and, as such, safety is our number one priority in these interactions.

We expect all Bigs and staff to minimize the risks of social media by adhering to the following social networking guidelines:

1.      Please proceed thoughtfully when inviting or accepting an invitation from your Little to a social networking site. If you have any doubts, please contact your Match Support Specialist.

2.      Do not participate in any online communication with/about your Little unless you have discussed this with the Caregiver and Match Support Specialist and received their approval.

3.      Never post any pictures of your Little online unless you have the written or verbal consent of the child's Caregiver.

4.      Never post the last name of your Little, their Caregiver, or BBBS staff.

5.      Never post any contact information for your Little.

6.      Never post any identifying information about your Little (i.e., child's home address, school the child attends, where the parent works)

7.      Never post anything that could be perceived as judgmental or offensive to your Little or their Caregiver/family.

8.      Make sure your page settings are set to private, so only people you approve can view your online content.

9.      Honor confidentiality guidelines within your match; be cautious when posting detailed information about conversations with your Little, their Caregiver, or BBBS staff. Posting generalized information or status updates is typically appropriate, but lengthier postings or blogs containing in-depth information should be approved by the Caregiver and by BBBS prior to posting.

10.   Be aware of other postings on your page that are not BBBS related or are inappropriate for minors. Know that as a BBBS volunteer you are a role model at all times. Please ensure that all content is appropriate and kid-friendly, in case your Little or their family were to read your social networking page. If the social networking site allows, create a separate group for your Little, their Caregiver, and BBBS staff that limits your Little's access to your general or universal postings.

11.   When in doubt about whether something is appropriate to post, consult with your Match Support Specialist prior to posting.

12.   You are required to report any instance of social media misuse or content that may endanger the Little's health, safety, or well-being to your Match Support Specialist.

Firearms and Weapons  

Weapons, firearms, and ammunition must be made inaccessible at all times to a child while in the volunteer Big's care. Any match activity that allows for the use of weapons, firearms, and ammunition is strictly forbidden.

When a law enforcement official must carry a weapon at all times as a condition of employment, agency professionals must document the weapon-related job requirements as well as Caregiver notification of the requirements and their approval of the condition prior to match. 

Any firearms and/or weapons ownership by the volunteer Big applicant must be:  

1. Disclosed to BBBS agency staff at enrollment and throughout the life of the match;  

2. Disclosed to the child's Caregiver by agency staff;  

3. Made inaccessible at all times to a child while in the Volunteer Big’s care by locking and unloading weapons, and storing ammunition separately; and  

4. The volunteer Big must attest that any weapons, firearms, or ammunition owned are licensed, permitted, registered, and handled in accordance with all applicable state and federal laws.  

What is a disclosure? 

A disclosure includes anytime a child or teen says: 

• They are going to hurt themselves 

• They are going to hurt someone else 

• Someone has hurt them 

• They are going to run away or do something dangerous 

What do you do if a child or teen discloses to you? 

Hearing that someone you care about has been mistreated can be a painful and highly emotional experience. You’ll be in a better position to recognize and respond to a disclosure of abuse or harm if you have thought about and prepared your reactions in advance.  

Always LISTEN, REASSURE, and ACT. 

Step 1: Listen 

• Focus on the child, and stay calm 

• Listen intently without judgment 

• Do not ask questions. There are professionals trained to speak with children and teens about traumatic experiences without re-traumatizing them or leading them. Just listen and let them tell the story in their own words, from their own point of view.
  
  

Step 2: Reassure 

• Stay neutral and calm with your words, facial expressions, and body language. Do not express your own feelings, including shock, anger, sadness, or disbelief. 

• Avoid words that are emotionally charged or negative words like “bad,” “terrible,” or “disgusting.” Children and teens may think these words are about them. Negative words send a message that you are upset about what they are saying and that they should not have told you. 

• Instead, say something like “I’m sorry that happened to you.” Or “This sounds like it’s hard to talk about.” 

• Let the child or teen know they did the right thing by telling you and thank them for trusting you. Tell them it is not their fault. 

• Do not promise that everything will be okay or that you won’t tell anyone. Things can get harder right after a disclosure of abuse. 

• Tell the child or teen that you will help them. Explain that in order to help and protect them, you have to tell someone else.
  
  

Step 3: Act 

• Tell someone who can help. Call the DCF Careline (1-800-842-2288) to report suspected abuse or neglect. 

• If the child or teen is in immediate danger, you may need to call 211 for mobile crisis or 911 for the police. 

• Tell BBBS Staff what is going on. They can help you navigate the situation, suggest resources, and follow up as needed.
  
  

If you are not sure if someone has shared a disclosure or you are not comfortable calling authorities, talk to BBBS Staff. They are mandated reporters, so they are legally required to report any suspected cases of abuse or neglect. 

Mandatory Child Abuse and Exploitation Reporting Policy 

All employees, volunteers and board members of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Connecticut are required to report any reported or suspected incident, allegation, investigation or civil proceeding that may constitute abuse or exploitation committed against a child under 18 or a vulnerable adult as defined by Connecticut or Federal Law, whether or not they are reported by third parties or anonymous sources.

Instances of child abuse and exploitation include the following: sexual misconduct against a child or in the presence of a child that may include contact or non-contact behaviors of a criminal nature; physical violence against a child or in the presence of a child; behavior that causes significant emotional or psychological harm to a child; neglect of a child;

For suspected incidence of child abuse, neglect, or exploitation involving current or former Volunteer Bigs, current or former Board Members, current or former Staff Persons, current or former other adults associated with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Connecticut (excluding Caregivers): 

• All Volunteer Bigs who have a suspicion that a child is being abused or exploited are required to immediately inform their Match Support Specialist of the suspected activity who, in turn, will immediately inform their director supervisor and the President and CEO. Agency Staff are then required to immediately make a report of child abuse/neglect to the State of Connecticut’s Department of Children and Families, in accordance with the State of Connecticut’s mandated reporting laws. Further, within 24 hours of initial notification, the President and CEO is required to submit a mandatory critical incident report to BBBSA that includes information obtained for all sources, including third parties and individuals wishing to remain anonymous.
  
  

For all other suspected incidences of child abuse, neglect, or exploitation:  

• All Volunteer Bigs who have a suspicion that a child is being abused or exploited are required to immediately inform their Match Support Specialist of the suspected activity who, in turn, will immediately inform their director supervisor and the President and CEO. Agency Staff are then required to immediately make a report of child abuse/neglect to the State of Connecticut’s Department of Children and Families, in accordance with the State of Connecticut’s mandated reporting laws.