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Hey, welcome to the site! Glad to have you on board! It's been a year of hating those ugly freaks! How the time flies!
WARNING: This site contains a lot (and I mean, A LOT) of profanity. Because without that, how in the whole wide world will I be able to fully express my pure HATRED towards these ugly, horrendous circus idiots?! If you're a bit cloth-earred or cloth-eyed (meaning your sensitive to that sort of language), then you might want to leave... otherwise, if you don't mind and you're as Sailor Mouthed as me, or you do mind but you hate them circus freaks as much as I do... then proceed onwards.
Otherwise, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Hello, and welcome to a website that is (quite obviously) titled "Ban the Clowns".
Hello, and welcome to a website that is (quite obviously) titled "Ban the Clowns".
Here, we obviously serve one purpose... to ban clowns for good. And why is that? It is because of that Stephen King film "IT"? Nope, haven't seen it. It is because of those 2016 clown attacks? Lucky enough to not be enolved in that shit. It is because of what John Wayne Gacy did? If anything, I'm glad that fucker died.
While these are all valid reasons why we'd make this website, unfortunately, you're all wrong - is it because they think they're SOOO funny, like they are the most amusing, most hilarious people on the planet - going around, making deformed animals out of balloons, drowning people with miniature squirty flowers, and throwing pies in people's faces while not giving a shit about whether or not they're allergic to the ingredients, as well as breaking into people's houses just because of some child turning six, whilst wearing the most fucking ugly car crash that is their makeup that'll infuriate every artist in the world, with their noses so red they look like they've been kicked one quadrillion times in the face non-stop, wigs so weird that it'll offend every barber to the point that they'd have to work overtime in their hairdressers, clothing so enormous and full of constant colours that it would give people with photosensitive epilepsy a seizure?!
WELL LET ME TELL YOU THIS!:
IN THE WORDS OF SKID ROW,
THEY CAN GET! THE! FUCK! OUT!
We are fed up, sick and tired of those atrocious bastards coming in and ruining everything for us!
We are fed up, sick and tired of those atrocious bastards coming in and ruining everything for us!
Whether it be in real life, a TV show, a game, whatever the hell it is - we want them GONE! Banished forever into the deepest, most darkest pits of Hell to never be found again! Don't they know how others feel around them? Some people have coulrophobia, and they either scream, shout, run away, get angry, infuriated, cry, become depressed, gain negative thoughts... all that bad shit - and URRGH! It rubs us the wrong way so much! Our fists are clenching and our teeth are gnawing at the fact that they're still out there, ready to piss off their next unfortunate victim!
And here's the worst part... they don't just have an International Day to celebrate themselves... no, they have a WHOLE FUCKING INTERNATIONAL WEEK! SERIOUSLY! A WHOLE WEEK OF CELEBRATING THESE UNFUNNY PRICKS (AUGUST 1-7)! How unfair is that! Suppose there should be a... oh... I don't know... a... week to celebrate how long it takes me to escape an outhouse I've shat myself in... or a week to celebrate the joys and wonder of being completely BORED OUT OF MY ASS AND HAVE NOTHING FUN TO DO THAT WHOLE BLOODY WEEK!
GRRRR!! I've had enough, you've had enough - WE ALL HAD ENOUGH.
GRRRR!! I've had enough, you've had enough - WE ALL HAD ENOUGH.
That's why we here at Ban the Clowns, we want your help! We want you to spread the word and start getting rid of these creepy-ass circus freaks once and for all! Start a petition even, if you hate them as much as we do! Hell, I'll make a start right now! In fact, I'm gonna censor the word cl*wn, BECAUSE I HATE THEM SO FREAKING MUCH!! And I hate looking at their hideous, obnoxiously disgusting faces! URGH! Makes me wanna vomit all over them! That's why I've pixelated them too - in fact, you might've already picked up on that from the get go, so coulrophobics, fear not! I've got your back, so it's gonna be okay. :)
And hey, you know what's nicer to look at than these ugly cl*wns?!
And hey, you know what's nicer to look at than these ugly cl*wns?!
Why, HERE'S A DOG'S ARSE! EVEN THAT IS NICER TO LOOK AT THAN A FUCKING HORRENDOUS, INFURIATING CL*WN!!!!
*breathe in, breathe out* Alright, rant over... FOR NOW. If you want to explore this website and see more rants and raves, then refer to the navigation bar at the top (or via the three bars button on the top-left if you're viewing this site on a mobile device) and pick whatever takes your interest. In the meantime, I'm gonna meditate for a bit, because I need to forget those nasty cl*wns for a hot minute or two.
Until then, let's hope they all stuff themselves in their tiny cars and suffocate from no breathing spaces and claustrophobia. (TAKE THAT YOU DISGUSTING AND AWFUL CL*WNS!)
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