Lust

It was 4:29 AM and it looked like Charley was just about ready to wake up. Let us come out from this cramped and smelly closet and give him a proper introduction.

"Why, hello there, Charley! Did you miss me? Of course you probably didn't... you hardly ever remember who I am, well, it's me, Death, and I see that you've been quite a bad kid. Naughty naughty!"

Charley, per usual, jumped right out of his bedsheets and shrieked like a little girl. With whatever courage he mustered up he asked, "Wh... wh... who are you? And what do you want with me?"

I said to him, "Why, Charley, ol' pal! It's me, Death again. This isn't the first time we've encountered each other like this. You've been committing a lot of heinous sins and I've come to take you to Hell and back to repent for them."

By the look on his face it seemed like he was starting to remember me now.

"We have no time to waste, Charley! The clock is ticking and I have a couple places I need to show you before our time in up. Don't worry; you won't be needing any of your belongings or need to change. Just follow me as we travel through your closet door and into our first circle of Hell, Lust."

And so I led him through his closet door. A door that he's opened many times before to find clothes to wear for the day, only now he opened it to find Hell waiting on the other side.

Of course if we were taking the linear path downwards we would run into Minos, the serpent. He's the one who condemns the sinners to the lower levels of Hell, but luckily I know my way around this place. On the other side of the door, we entered into an endless and violent storm. We both braced ourselves as the souls of the dead swayed back and forth through the fierce winds that ravaged the land. A familiar face started to come towards us. We couldn't make out what he was saying, but it got louder as he got closer. Was he saying giggity? Alas it was none other than Quagmire of Quahog.

I looked to Charley and said, "Look who we have here! It's the man himself, Quagmire of Quahog. No one better than him to tell about his life before. Listen closely as you might learn from his mistakes."

The soul of Quagmire began to tell his tale, "Giggity, giggity! How you folks doing? As you can see I've been sentenced to the second circle of Hell by Minos for my acts of lust during my time alive. You wouldn't believe how many women I've slept with over the course of my life, but I'll tell you one thing: I'd change it all if I could! Giggity! I've always been in love with my neighbor's wife, Lois, but she has never returned my affection. And, so, day and night, I'd fill that void with meaningless sex. That is until one day I contracted AIDS and then, well, you know how that story ends. Giggity, giggity!"

"You see that, Charley? Your acts of lust are sins that will have you condemned to the circles of Hell when you perish away. Quagmire eventually died from this very sin. Now his punishment in Hell is endless. Without end, he is smothered in flames instead of kisses. Come. Let's go on and hear from others with the same lust as you."

We left Quagmire and started to roam about throughout the barren wasteland talking to other doomed souls. We bumped into Hugh Hefner and Bill Cosby. Both were men of lust. Both had the same outcome as Quagmire as well. They both slept with many women and both ended up with the same fate: eternal flames.

After our conversation with Hugh and Bill we had lost track of time. "Charley, it's best we get going to our next destination. I hope that you've learned your lesson here about lust and will change your ways when we get back, but for now we must keep going. Our next circle is none other than... Wrath."

Author's Note

In "Dante's Inferno," Dante and Virgil make their way down from the first circle, Limbo, to the second, Lust. Here they meet Minos, the serpent, who is the one who judges where the condemned souls end up in Hell. Inside the second circle there is a violent storm with endless winds that buffet the souls back and forth. This symbolizes the power of lust to blow one about needlessly and aimlessly. In my story, Death takes the place of Virgil and Charley takes the place of Dante. Death takes Charley on an adventure inspired by "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. When Dante visited the circle of Lust he encountered people such as Cleopatra, Helen of Troy, Achilles, etc. They were all overcome by their sexual desires during their life. His most notable encounter, however, was with Francesca da Rimini. She married Giovanni Malatesta, but fell in love with his younger brother Paolo Malatesta. They began an adulterous affair. When Giovanni found out about this he surprised the lovers in their bedroom and stabbed them to death. For my story, their first visit is to the circle of Lust. I picked these specific people and characters because of their iconic influences in our society today. They are also the embodiment of lust. However, I only had Quagmire from "Family Guy" tell his story because it added a more comedic taste. Bill Cosby and Hugh Hefner were worth mentioning, but I choose not to tell their stories. I wanted to follow the same structure of Hell that Dante envisioned by writing "Dante's Inferno." That is why we visited Lust first and the next destination for the duo is Wrath.

Bibliography

Dante's Inferno translation by Tony Kline