The questioner says: I have understood what you have said somewhat, partially, not completely; I am not a transformed human being. I understand, and I want to tell others what I have understood. I do not say I have understood the whole, I have understood a part. I know it is fragmented, I know it is not complete, I am not interpreting the teachings, I am just informing you what I have understood. Well, what is wrong with that? But if you say: "I have grasped the whole completely and I am telling you" - then you become an authority, the interpreter; such a person is a danger, he corrupts other people. But if I have seen something which is true I am not deceived by it; it is true and in that there is a certain affection, love, compassion; I feel that very strongly - then naturally I cannot help but go out to others; it would be silly to say I will not. (J Krishnamurti, Q&A)
The root of the problems of the world is that we don’t see that we are all ONE - not just humanity, but the entire universe and beyond. We strongly feel a sense of separation from others and we don't question it enough to see where it arises from. This separate "self" may be felt at the level of individual, family, community, tribe, religion, nation, etc. We don't seem to be able to hold the paradox that though we are all ONE, we do feel separate.
Our perceived sense of “self” is probably the most dangerous virus in the world, dividing us where there is no division. We dream, feel, think and act based on our past conditioning which can be traced to the whole of humanity or even beyond. Whatever we do in our life to get rid of it, we remain stuck in the prison of our imagined self. By relying on the many gurus, religion and experts to realize the self, we perpetuate our prison life, or at best become a vegetable incapable of living life intelligently. In making the “self” as a problem, in trying to understand by creating a model of it, and in attempting to solve it like any other problem in the world, we continue to perpetuate the self.
In seeing the selfish emotion or thought as it is arising, in not transferring that energy onto someone or something else, there is a breaking of the chain of movements triggered by the disillusion. Then there is a possibility of an action generated out of that seeing, and not from the usual emotion or thought. That has potential to impact subsequent interactions of that someone else with yet another. Such breaking may not lead to any magic or occult experience, but the same day-to-day actions of the world may go on without conflict! And if there is a hope that such peace may happen or the opposite, then there may be an awareness of that!
Before attempting to deal with a problem, it may be helpful to understand what is happening at first. Understanding of the self can be pursued through infinite ways, including just carefully observing what is happening without anyone’s help.
Thought can’t grasp this, hence this can’t be understood like anything else. However it might help to understand what thought needs to do, or rather what it doesn’t need to do.
After one attempts everything in search of the self, it seems like the only thing that’s left with is “Just Awaring” of what is rising in the body-mind. All else happens out of past conditioning, automatically, with no controller of any kind. And when such an awaring occurs, there is no separate or individual “I” that is seeing it; it is perhaps seen by everything or no-thing.
Thinking or remembering may be mistaken for Awareness. When there is an awareness of what’s happening in oneself at the moment, then there is no thought… there is just the seeing of something as it is arising. Or if there is a thought, then that comes into awareness and the chain of thoughts are broken. Unless the thought chains are broken, they will continue to expand further through associations… which may be the evolutionary purpose of memory and thought.
Many popular methods and practices may help in improving physical and mental well-being. However, if there is a careful observation, the sense-of-self, our root of the problem, continues to linger around. As one sits to observe breath or repeat a mantra, or even see thoughts for that matter, soon after (or along with) the observation, one may notice a sense of pride (or some other emotion) arising. It could also be a sense of comfort or security in depending on someone or something as a reliable source for enlightenment or to escape from what is.
The core of such a feeling, that’s associated with some sense-of-self, is no different from what we encounter at other times of our lives. The same seems to apply for even the so-called bad-people, just that the manifestations of their sense-of-self is according to their conditioning.
When there is enlightenment (or whatever we want to call it), there is no “one” there as imagined. A permanent state of enlightenment does not seem to exist, perhaps it is something that one drifts in and out from time to time. As long as one is human, feelings, emotions, thoughts and a sense-of-self are bound to arise, but in seeing them their emptiness may be realised. Such an awaring can’t be accumulated and used; it has to happen moment to moment, but it is in no one’s control, and may not happen all the time.
The question of whether there is any effort involved in awaring often comes about. Effort in a deeper sense does not exist when there is no delusion of the self. However, as long as there is an illusion of the sense-of-self, effort may be necessary to stir the mind with questions and confusions, or to set up an environment for silence, until some sort of an escape velocity is attained. Then out of complete silence of the mind, there's a possibility of Insight.
Even among those who have gone deeper into self-enquiry, one of the subtlest things that we get stuck is to feel “I know this, I have learnt it, I have reached nirvana, I am not selfish, I am now more aware of everything, etc”. These thoughts seem to come from the remaining traces of self that are hidden without coming into awareness. Unless this is also seen, we remain in the prison. Even though we may come out of the prison briefly, we soon get entangled again - we continue to act with a fixed mindset (instead of being flexible), protecting and defending ourselves.
As long as there is a feeling that one is progressing, or that one has found a solution to the problem, or that one is relieved to have found a teacher or a group, unless those are also seen, then the (imaginary) “me” remains alive, and one remains enslaved.
Does 'it' want to continue to exist by creating this website or a dialogue-group?
All of us are infected by the same virus. Only the impact is different based on one's conditioning.
All of us are acting from our conditioning, including the writer. In seeing that, awaring that, as it arises, there is a possibility of freedom from that!
Some of our challenges include our language, especially with I/we/you (subject), me/us/them (object) - as if there is someone inside who is having control and acting on it.
Even if there is an awareness for sometime, when situations change, one gets engulfed in emotions and thoughts overshadowing awareness.
If awareness is not present, then one may automatically do pretty much any kind of action under the influence of feelings-emotions-thoughts. Be it triggering a gun or atomic bomb, committing suicide, slapping or shouting at someone, crying or laughing. Only the sum total of experiences in one’s life decides these at any moment.
Every normal human, like any sentient being, has the capacity to be aware, but within a few moments of awaring, feeling-emotion-thought quickly takes over and many times action originates automatically, especially when one’s sense-of-self is challenged.
With regards to enlightenment, it feels like one is looking for the last piece in solving a jigsaw puzzle, but the last piece is the one who is trying to solve the puzzle.
There is still an “I” that does not want to be there… but it continues to remain by not wanting to be there.
Sitting, reading, etc. may help to some extent, but can also become a blocker beyond a point. Insights may arise at times, but then we end up relying on the authority of those insights.
Something gets hurt… or feels proud. What is it?
There is something that is not satisfied with “This is it - Just to be aware”. What is it?
When the mind is silent, there is a perception that things just automatically appear in consciousness, without one seeking for something. The illusionary one seeking for an experience (to listen, see, observe, etc) subsides.
Habit patterns serve us pretty well to be able to do things despite being lost in thought, most of the time. Say during driving, washing vessels, or yoga. Except that sometimes things can go wrong due to lack of awareness, and the effect could be a cut in the finger, a crash or shouting at someone on some stimuli. Perhaps under dangerous situations, or emergencies, one is extremely alert (aware) automatically; but it is harder to do so in a comforting lifestyle.
If you know you are sleeping, then you are not. If you know you are awaring, then you are only thinking.
You can’t sleep by trying to sleep. Awaring can’t happen by you trying to become aware.
Insights happen gradually, and over time there is a possibility of a final insight. But if there is no awaring of the fact that the self is sustained when one feels moving forward with these insights, then one is stuck in the same prison.
Beyond a point, books, talks, etc, are only impediments, as they continue to sustain the self that is now searching for enlightenment.
Keep our opinions light, including insights.
The authority of one’s experiences and insights is the “Me”. As long as we continue to act out of them, the sense-of-self remains.
Rest in the ____ where thoughts and perceptions appear. Now, the mind will turn the previous statement into a goal that it should achieve. May there be a seeing of that.
Whatever is pointed out by someone, especially in the context of enlightenment, our mind will make an image of it, as something that it can pursue and attain. Can there be a seeing of that?
Even if there is an insight before the current moment, the mind turns it into a concept, so that by doing something (or not doing something), enlightenment can be achieved. As long as this is not seen, one is caught in the same prison.
As long as there is a wanting that one can become enlightened, or if one feels one is already enlightened, or if there is a thinking that by not chasing enlightenment one can become enlightened, then one is stuck in the same prison. “Becoming enlightened” becomes the new goal to attain instead of worldly affairs, which is nothing but the same desire acting.
Thinking that we can get somewhere or become “nothing” by doing something, implies one is still caught in prison.
Even hunting can be an intelligent action, if done with complete understanding and awaring.
When we say we are thinking, are we keeping the problem in our head (staying with the problem), stopping for a few moments and then the answer comes up automatically?
Enlightenment is not a permanent state. Perhaps everyone is enlightened for a few moments once in a while.
Play with it, like a child, or like you play a game, as you would enjoy it, whether you win or lose.
I feel the “me” is slowly dying. But then as long as I recognize that I am dying, then the “me” continues to be alive.
Even if there is understanding, it does not suffice if there is no awaring. Even if there is awaring, it does not suffice if there is no understanding.
Our experiences are different, hence our beliefs, thoughts and actions are different. This difference arises at every level - within oneself, between two individuals, tribes or countries.
Happy is the man who wants nothing… but in wanting “nothing”, one may still be stuck in the same race. There can only be an awaring of the wanting or not-wanting as it is arising.
Our mind acts more like a recorder. It records whatever happens around us, and then based on current events, triggers an action that is a mixture of the recording in some form. Every record seems to register or arise at their own levels of strength according to what was recorded already, and the situation when it was recorded or called into action. Different records exhibit different strengths at different times, and the one with the higher strength wins at that moment. All of this is automatic, no one has any control. There can only be a watching of what is arising in consciousness.
Psychological processes or thought don’t seem to be the issue. Only the self related emotions and thoughts cause havoc, when they are not seen for their illusion. However, those selfish emotions and thoughts are as closely intertwined in our body-mind as our desire for essential food, for example. There is no controller who can separate them out and let the organism live a different life. But in awaring of those emotions and thoughts as they arise, there may be a different way of living possible.
Awaring (or seeing) of self acting can happen right now without any special preparation. Need not wait for the future. Just like how we can see something in front of our eyes without any special effort, there can just be an awareness. It may help to sit quietly, go on a retreat, have dialogue or read, but they may not be necessary. Thinking that those will make one enlightened only perpetuates the self unless that expectation is also seen.
If someone is telling you that they can get you enlightened, beware.
I should become “more aware” is itself a conflict. Can that be seen?
There is something that is arising, that wants to be good, that wants to be at ease. What is it? Can that be observed like there is an awaring of hunger in the stomach as against the thought of hunger without a real hunger?
Why or how does it rain? Is there anyone making it rain? Why can’t we see that our daily lives and actions are also not controlled by anyone, that they are just happening based on the interconnections of various events, past & present? When we see a shift in someone after one or more dialogues about a daily life topic, who is changing?
A hunter-tracker (during the hunting/tracking) or an animal is naturally in a meditative state due to their life situations and needs. We are not in such a state most of the time due to our environment and civilized way of life. But as we try to get into that meditative state, that trying, wanting to become, becomes the bottleneck.
A great sportsman or an artisan may be fully present, in a meditative state, operating without a sense of self at the peak of his or her game or art for a few moments. However, one soon loses that state of presence and gets back to the mediocre self-centred thoughts and emotions.
Even if everything about the “me” is intellectually understood, or even seen once in a while, it does not imply the “me” will not arise again. It requires a continuous watching through day to day life.
Thought creates problems and then works towards solving them, only creating more problems.
I am learning about myself in day to day life. However it is the same comparative mind that is in operation, that compares one’s state with an imagined state “learning”, and thus the self continues to exist.
When trying to help someone with a psychological problem, can it be observed that there is a “ME” that is separating from the other, wanting to help that person get out of the problem?
Our thoughts, emotions/feelings and actions are automatic. We only have an illusion that we have control over them. Even what we are conscious of seems to arise automatically out of past experiences. The search for enlightenment, or even to be more aware are no different. There is nothing to do but to observe what is happening inside and outside. It is all happening on its own with no controller.
One has to learn through one's own experience, be it physical or mental. Instead of blindly following what one was told, one has to see for oneself the truth or false of it.
Life and what it brings to us are koans in themselves, with a mixture of good and bad, right and wrong, impossible to separate them. This is good as well as bad, that is bad as well as good.
Do meditation, dialogue, retreat, etc, as a play, without expecting a particular result, content whether it is a win or a loss, just for the fun of playing.
Observed thought acts differently from unobserved thought.. much like how someone's behaviour is different when observed by someone else (or camera)?
Dialogue is to connect people as corpus callosum connects the two hemispheres in the brain.
It is impossible to communicate or understand enlightenment or whatever one names it through words, or any other means. No one knows why and how enlightenment or insight happens. It does not need any special book, talk, movie, video, dialogue, retreat or article.
Like no one can teach how to see with the eyes, there is nothing to teach about how to see the delusion. In feeling that one is achieving something or can become better in future, the self continues to live in subtle ways. There is only the possibility of awaring what is happening inside and outside, and such a seeing is neither personal nor permanent.
One on his or her own interest questioning the nature of happenings in life and having a dialogue with one self or others seem to be the only way. Lecture, sharing ones understanding with others (without the other questioning), or even "just sitting" doesn't seem to cut it.
Question our beliefs. Be tentative on our opinions.
Awaring of physical sensations, bodily feelings and thoughts/emotions. In oneself and the other.
Awareness will tell us what to do. What's right and wrong. But we can't be aware all the time, so we will make mistakes which we have to accept. Such an awareness is not of the body, thought or mind, perhaps of everything or nothing.
Relationship means what arises in me when I encounter someone or something, including myself.
Everything is in continuous flux, including the so called 'me'.
The "I" that is resisting/becoming, escaping/wanting is the stress. But resisting/becoming, escaping/wanting exist (at least in our minds), and resisting them or wanting to escape them is also the stress.