Immortal

EXTRACT FROM CHAPTER 10: WANDERLUST

"I never get any answers and it just keeps going. Why am I living? Is this hell? Do I make my own hell? What is paradise like if I make life like this? I don’t want to be me for eternity, and I don’t want to be anywhere near a god who makes this. I hate them. I just hate them. They made us, and just left like that? They’re fucking immortals?! Why? Where? Who made me like this or just watched as I dig myself deeper and deeper into myself? I’m lost in myself. And I can’t do anything. I can’t find myself anymore and it’s killing me. The number of times I’ve contemplated suicide outweighs the amount of times I’ve actually liked myself.”

Every cry angered her, I could feel her teeth gritting and her jaw clenching on my head, but she knew nothing she said would make me like myself anymore. She knew that I also needed Kim. I think she also needed Kim. I guess the moral of the story is that no matter how inevitable it seems that your story will not come to a happy ending, you should hold onto any hope to have one. She grabbed onto me, and underneath the moonlight and the lights of the city of Paris, we wept. We wept for ourselves, for the grief we held onto, and the hope that we had left. And for a second, there was a spark.