Setting Attainable Goals

Erosive, Not Explosive: Setting Attainable Goals

One of the biggest mistakes we make when entering conversations with folks whose beliefs are on the opposite end of the spectrum is believing we are going to change their mind in one sitting. With lofty goals like this, we often find ourselves quickly frustrated by the lack of progress in a conversation. However, it is important for us to remember that the important work of unlearning is slow. It is erosive, not explosive.

An important place to begin is considering your own anti-racist work. You didn't wake up one morning knowing, understanding, and believing as you do now. Moreover, as Dr. Victoria Verlezza once said of anti-racist work, "If you think you've arrived, you're doing it wrong." This is a solid reminder that we, as White folks, are still very much learning and unlearning each and every day. So while you may feel ahead of your conversation partner, in the grand scheme of liberatory thinking, you're still doggy paddling in the shallow end (I am, too!).

So, instead of beginning your conversation expecting your conversational partner to meet you where you are, you need to come to them. Begin where they are, just like someone helped you to begin where you were. This means setting attainable goals and knowing this is going to be a long haul. In other words, though you ultimately hope your conversation partner will have revelations that lead them to participating in anti-racist, anti-oppression work on their own, you also need to know that these revelations are unlikely to occur in one conversation. Instead, this is the start of many conversations to slowly sift through the many beliefs they hold and plant seeds of doubt for the harmful ideas they may hold.

What Is an Attainable Goal?

Attainable goals should be more focused on one belief than the entirety of someone's belief system. You are going to want to consider where your conversational partner stands on an issue before you set a goal for the conversation. Perhaps, you've heard Uncle Seymour yelling at the television about how rioters are disrespectful of property and asking why we would listen to people who cannot even be civil about their complaints. The goal can't be that Uncle Seymour will spend next Saturday picketing alongside the Black Lives Matter movement. That's an unreasonable jump! However, you might, in one or two conversations, get him to agree that while rioting isn't the method he would choose to protest something, there are reasons people are choosing that method, and those reasons are meaningful and valid.

Here are some other ideas of realistic goals that work toward the larger goals we dream for our conversational partners: