The reflections thus far in your activism journey may have provoked hurt, pain, or frustration. You may have also gained further insight into your identity, how it shapes your experiences, and how you react when those experiences related to your identity are questioned, invalidated, or challenged.
For this week I want to offer ways to process any stirred emotions and/or memories that may arise as you go out into the world, knowing that you can always return to this week as respite. Resiliency, love, and triumph have begun the healing process for BIPOC folks, and we still need to move through our emotions individually and collectively if we want to stay doing this work.
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work, ask yourself:
Do you feel comfortable expressing your emotions? In what context? If you don’t feel comfortable, why might that be?
How do you react when other people express their emotions? Try to be as specific as possible.
Have your emotions ever spurred you to take action to change a situation, a policy, or a system? Describe what happened.
In week 4, we defined triggers as an event or experience that causes an emotional or bodily response to either fight, flight, or freeze. What provokes this response has origins in historical, intergenerational, institutional, or personal experiences. As you start to draw parallels between what you’re experiencing and past situations, you react emotionally, bodily, or cognitively. Please refer to “Responding to Triggers'' from the book Teaching for Diversity and Social Justice, A Sourcebook, edited by Maurianne Adams and Lee Anne Bell, for specific examples.
Emotions are a part of our daily human experience. It is up to us to decide whether we let our emotions overwhelm us, control us, guide us, or push us to make change. Let’s walk through a step-by-step way to help us process our feelings and experiences. It’s Anti-Racism Every Day’s 4-step process starting from settling the body to taking action.
Note: We acknowledge that each person will go through each step at different times. At the moment you may only get through step 1 and 2 . Two to four days later, you may be ready to go to step 3. Each step is designed for you to do at a time that is most comfortable to you.
For a more detailed explanation please read the information below:
Breathe in and breathe out two times. slow down to identify how your body is responding. As your heartbeat begins to slow down, start to suss out the feelings you are internalizing and/or externalizing in the moment.
Close your eyes. Practice breathing in and out slowly several times. Focus on your lungs taking in air—and the air leaving your nostrils.
Take the time to name what those emotions are so that you are continuously building your self-awareness. If you are alone, say those feelings aloud. If you’re not, name them in your head. For me, it works better to write them down.
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work, ask yourself:
How easy is it for me to name my feelings? Why or why not? If it’s not easy, reflect on why that might be.
Then, refer to the Center for Nonviolent Communication’s Feelings Inventory. It’s a great place to start for those who want support in naming emotions.
Now is the time to reflect so that you can take care of yourself and get to a place of action. Use the questions below to guide you:
Am I in the right space (physically and mentally) to think through this?
Is there a settling of my body that needs to happen to release the stress, frustration, anger first?
Who would be a good person to connect with or bounce ideas off of?
Write the names of 2–3 people who you can go to and discuss your experience. What do they do for you that you appreciate in respect to processing situations and feelings?
It's time to express your needs. After reflecting and processing, begin to think about what you need at the moment. Is it time and space? If so, communicate that explicitly. Is there a specific action that you want to request from those involved? Is there something you’d personally like to do? Consider why.
Expand your definition of action as it can be anything—crying, talking, sitting in silence, enacting, meditation, sharing, writing, exercising, silence, etc. Be aware that this step might need to happen right away, later, or perhaps not all because of possible repercussions due to power dynamic, safety or retaliation.
Take time to be introspective. Find inspiration. Seek information and be ready to advocate for what you think should happen.
Being proactive in understanding what your triggers are is an important task in your anti-racism work. It gives you time to plan, strategize, and develop mechanisms to help you settle your mind and body. To get an idea of what your triggers are and how you respond, read the inventory below.
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work, ask yourself:
Does Step 4 come naturally for you or do you find yourself working hard to get to a place where you advocate for your needs?
Let’s get some practice in using this framework. Pick one of the following scenarios and walk through each step as if you were the person impacted. Refer to the 4-step process as often as you need.
This is the second time that your boss overlooked you for a promotion, citing “there will always be a next time.”
You overheard a friend in conversation use a racial slur to describe someone from your racial/ethnic group. They responded that they have friends who identify as that race so it’s okay.
Your department is fully committed to DEI; however, you don’t see staff practicing what they’re preaching. You find that the same students are still getting suspended, the curriculum looks the same, and some teachers have expressed being microaggressed weekly.
Your family member asks you why you believe in Black Lives Matter, don’t all lives matter?
Choose your own adventure (if there’s a situation you’re currently experiencing that you’d like to follow this framework with, please do so).
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work, ask yourself:
What was the experience of using the 4-step process like?
What are some things you can commit to doing when you metabolize through your emotions?
If you choose to commit to following this framework and finding ways to practice it, the benefits are endless.
Perhaps it wasn’t easy for you to go inward, experience all the feelings, and feel empowered to say or do something. Thinking through this is hard. Especially if it’s not something you practice in your day to day. Authentic anti-racism work begins when you do the work for yourself. It means not being bogged down by elements of white supremacy culture. It means finding ways to change and explore different methods of doing things. As the world changes, so do you. Take a moment to accept who you are, what you’ve experienced, and who you want to be in this world. Acceptance is important. To ground yourself in acceptance, I’d like for you to reflect on the last three stanzas of Maya Angelou’s poem “Still I Rise”:
Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
As we close out week 5, find inspiration from Maya Angelou to engage in your own self-acceptance by completing ARED’s Acceptance Mad Libs.
For a printable version, click here.
To complete it online, click the link in the corner or here, make a copy of the presentation, then add your words in the boxes.
The goal of this workbook is both personal development and preparation for conversations in cross-racial settings. We will end each week with exercises in applying your learnings in diversified spaces.
Visit the Center for Nonviolent Communication’s Feelings Inventory.
Throughout the week, identify 2-3 feelings that you experience when your needs are being satisfied. What were the needs?
Do the same for 2-3 feelings you experience when your needs aren't being satisfied. Why aren't they being satisfied?
How could you use this feelings inventory when engaging in cross-cultural dialogue?
The following are good supplements to the work you did above, if you are looking to dig deeper into this topic.
“Responding to Triggers'' from Teaching for Diversity and Social Justice: A Sourcebook by Maurianne Adams and Lee Anne Bell
Feelings Inventory from Center for Nonviolent Communication
"Still I Rise" by Maya Angelou
How to Cope with Race-Based Trauma from Viva Wellness
Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen: The Emotional Lives of Black Women by Inger Burnett-Zeigler
Therapy for Black Girls Podcast
Soul Sessions from Sad Girls Club
The activities and materials on this page were created for the Anti-Racism Every Day BIPOC Activism Discussion Group. All are welcome to join us to continue this work and benefit from the power of collective reflection and discussion.