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Anti-Racism Every Day conducts affinity groups (groups separated by identity) as part of our theory of change. Sometimes we hear of those who have the hope that if we just “come together” and just talk about it that it would solve our issues of racism. We, however, identify that there must be intentional, yet distinct work needed to be done in BIPOC spaces versus White spaces. The outcome of that work is leveraging the new approaches, new perspectives, new ways of being, and individual growth in a cross-cultural space.
Knowing what we are striving for, we’re going to focus on actions steps to take before, during, and after cross-cultural dialogue.
Before
Before
We acknowledge that you may have participated in a lot of cross-cultural dialogues. Have they been successful? Or have they been discomforting? Felt unsafe? Frustrating? Unhelpful?
Author’s note: I’ve been in quite a few cross-cultural conversations on the facilitator and participant side and would like to share some experiences. I’d like to preface this by saying this is not an exhaustive list. Feel free to check off those that you too have experienced. You can add yours to the list as well.
In joint facilitation where my co-facilitator is white, participants’ attention stays on my white colleague.
I’ve received written feedback saying “If this was going to be about race, you should have said that beforehand.”
As a facilitator, I’ve “protected” a participant if they're the only BIPOC person in the room.
As a participant I experienced a microaggression from a fellow BIPOC colleague.
I have been mispronouned repeatedly throughout a discussion as a participant.
On a Zoom call, I have kept my video off during triggering moments and/or for the entire session.
Do—
Understanding Experience
Do—
Understanding Experience
Now it’s your turn to share. Write about an experience when a cross-dialogue conversation did not serve you.
What were some of the components that led it to being ineffective?
Record what some of your fears or doubts are when engaging in cross-cultural dialogue.
You’ve done half of the work to prepare for these discussions by interacting with this workbook and taking time to think through each “Preparing for Cross-Dialogue” section at the end of each week. The rest of the work takes the form of utilizing your learnings from weeks 1-7 to help you feel equipped to have cross-cultural dialogue. The goal of having these discussions is not simply to have dialogue for dialogue’s sake. If facilitated the right way, dialogue is an empowering tool that can change minds, hearts, and perspectives.
So, whether you’re an expert at knowing how to prepare for cross-cultural dialogue and are open to new perspectives and ideas, or you’re a person that wants to grow more in this realm; this week offers something for everyone.
Defining Cross-Cultural Dialogue
Defining Cross-Cultural Dialogue
You may also hear it referred to as intergroup dialogue or multicultural dialogue. In a cross-cultural dialogue, we are bringing a variety of social identities together in a space to address race, oppression, and power.
You may also hear it referred to as intergroup dialogue or multicultural dialogue. In a cross-cultural dialogue, we are bringing a variety of social identities together in a space to address race, oppression, and power.
The 4s’s for Cross-Cultural Dialogue
The 4s’s for Cross-Cultural Dialogue
Our organization believes that moving from the internal work to external work requires conditions of readiness for white and BIPOC activists to enter authentic cross-cultural conversations with one another. With each conversation, we want to build collective capacity to address the deep-seated issues related to race. We refer to these conditions as the 4 S’s for Cross-Cultural Dialogue.
This framework sets these conversations up to ignite community building, organizing, and action from both a participant and facilitator point of view.
Reflect—
Reflect—
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work:
Which one of these conditions are most critical to you when entering or setting up a cross-cultural conversation? Why?
Reflect—
Reflect—
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work, ask yourself:
Based on the questions above, which one do you feel is the most salient to answer based on your specific space for cross-cultural dialogue?
Do—
Space
Do—
Space
Based on the question you selected, read the "What to Do" column.
How would you go about ensuring that those actions are taken?
What would it look like or sound like for you?
Note: You will be introduced to the Courageous Conversations framework in the latter half of this chapter.
Reflect—
Reflect—
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work, ask yourself:
Based on the questions above, which one do you feel is the most salient to answer based on your specific space for cross-cultural dialogue?
Do—
Spirit
Do—
Spirit
Based on the question you selected, read the "What to Do" column.
How would you go about ensuring that those actions are taken?
What would it look like or sound like for you?
Reflect—
Reflect—
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work, ask yourself:
Based on the questions above, which one do you feel is the most salient to answer based on your specific space for cross-cultural dialogue?
Do—
Safety
Do—
Safety
Based on the question you selected, read the "What to Do" column.
How would you go about ensuring that those actions are taken?
What would it look like or sound like for you?
Reflect—
Reflect—
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work, ask yourself:
Based on the questions above, which one do you feel is the most salient to answer based on your specific space for cross-cultural dialogue?
Do—
Sharing
Do—
Sharing
Based on the question you selected, read the "What to Do" column.
How would you go about ensuring that those actions are taken?
What would it look like or sound like for you?
Organizations have made the mistake of starting with cross-cultural dialogue conversations before giving white and BIPOC folks the opportunity to do the work separately. Accountability cannot occur in cross-cultural dialogue if people have not taken the time to do an internal dive into their experiences as racialized beings. The 4s’s model is a preparation tool. Utilizing this model should be leveraged with the different work of white and BIPOC folks in mind.
During
During
Reflect—
Reflect—
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work, ask yourself:
What are some components of cross-cultural dialogue that makes it effective?
How do I engage in and conduct cross-cultural dialogue?
How do I engage in and conduct cross-cultural dialogue?
A second framework that Anti-Racism Every Day utilizes to have safe, real, and productive conversations to address systemic inequities and oppression is Glenn E. Singleton’s Courageous Conversations Compass. This personal navigational tool illustrates the four ways we can enter conversations centered around race: morally, intellectually, relationally, and emotionally.
The framework is not limited only to race, but can also be used in any conversations that are high stakes, where emotions are heightened, or there are differences in perspective. Preparing for these conversations across varying lines of differences starts with familiarizing yourself with where you typically enter the conversation, while also understanding how those around you enter in order to find common ground.
Do—
Where Do You Enter?
Do—
Where Do You Enter?
As you look at the framework, how do you typically enter conversations and/or process information? Pick one or two dominant quadrants.
Now, let’s see if how you enter changes based on the topics below. For each topic, name whether you tend to enter the conversation in a moral, emotional, intellectual, or relational mindset. Although these situations lack context and you may feel like you’re generalizing, go with your first initial thought.
Women's Rights
Self-care
Adoption
Racism
Mental Health
Immigration
Standardized Testing
Therapy
Body Positivity
LGBTQ+ Rights
Reflect—
Reflect—
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work:
Cross-cultural dialogues are courageous. What do you think makes them courageous?
We’d like to add on your list of reasons as to why these conversations are courageous.
Reliving trauma: These conversations require experiencing ‘clean pain’ where you embrace the discomfort and move through it. You acknowledge that growth and liberation cannot happen without personal transformation. You develop new practices to take care of your body, mind, and spirit.
Engaging in conflict or disagreement: Instead of avoiding discussion that may cause disagreement, courageous conversations require you to move toward them. If one is conflict avoidant, the action of speaking up takes willpower. Derald Wing Sue says, “The problem with the maintenance of harmony is that it negates deeper explorations of biases, stereotypes, and deep-seated emotions associated with race and racism. The teachable moment is lost.”
Having a fear of the unknown: There’s always uncertainty regarding how the conversation will go. Questions that cross your mind may include: What happens if this dialogue doesn’t go well? How will I get or give feedback about how the session went? What will happen if I don’t want to attend another dialogue? Allow the space to be a place where mistakes can happen. Be okay with not knowing everything. Use the 4 S’s to prepare for what may come.
Navigating white supremacy culture: It takes courage as a collective to break out of white supremacy norms and find new ways to conduct conversation that honors every individual in the room. Can we tap into the traditions of our ancestors to assist us in effective and powerful dialogue?
Reflect—
Reflect—
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work:
Pick one of the reasons from the list above that feels the most relevant to you.
Share your experiences as to why it resonates the most with you.
Do—
Survey
Do—
Survey
Take the time to survey 5 friends, family, strangers, or community members on what being courageous means for a BIPOC person. Record their thoughts.
Are there any similarities between the 5 people you surveyed?
Did what they shared align to the 4 reasons above?
Self-awareness is key to cross-cultural dialogue. Knowing how you enter conversations supports you in recognizing what you’re called to do, what action you need to take, and where you need to grow. This is what helps you build capacity in how you show up in a cross-dialogue space.
Glenn E. Singleton’s Courageous Conversations model is also designed to help you understand where others are in relation to the four quadrants. For example, if a person tends to enter a conversation from an acting perspective, the framework helps you to speak “their language” to meet them where they are. As the conversation continues, each person should be asking the questions that would help bring everyone to the middle: centered, transformative change.
The diagram below provides the questions to support the mindset of others.
Do—
Practicing Courageous Conversations
Do—
Practicing Courageous Conversations
You have three scenarios below. As you read through each one, identify how the person in the scenario enters the conversation. Additionally, include what statement and/or questions you’d use to address them.
Scenario #1: While some teachers in the school where you teach have been active around building a diverse and inclusive workplace, others are not as engaged. You start to believe that there’s an on-again-off-again approach, and that diversity is seen as the ‘flavor of the month.’ You know that if progress is to be made, the work needs to be integrated into the day-to-day work and that discussions leading to action must take place. You’ve overheard the grade-level chair saying, “My gut is telling me that this is a slippery slope. I don’t believe parents would approve of this.” How would you address the topic in your next team meeting?
Scenario #2: During a Zoom breakout room, one of the white participants repeatedly cut you off as you were explaining a moment where you called in a co-worker for centering their emotions during a heated discussion. They say, “Well maybe your co-worker felt uncomfortable. What’s wrong with being vulnerable and sharing your emotions?”
Scenario #3: During cross-cultural dialogue you shared the frustration of having to be a “watered down” version of yourself in the workplace, revealing limitations of not being your authentic self. A fellow BIPOC individual speaks after you to say “I can’t believe that’s how you feel. I always show up as myself at work. That’s all I can do. I can’t believe there’s people that walk around feeling this way! We need to do something about this.”
After
After
Do not feel limited by the two tools provided in Week 8. Resmaa Menakem uses the word “toys in the toybox,” as the word tool alludes to something needing to be fixed. Anti-racism work takes a holistic diversified approach in which the “toys” from Week 1-7 are worth revisiting.
In this last section we are going to do two things:
Leverage all the toys provided to you to navigate when conversations go awry during a courageous cross-cultural dialogue.
Provide answers to some frequently asked questions about difficult dialogues.
Do—
Pick Up Your Toys
Do—
Pick Up Your Toys
As we near the end of the BIPOC activist workbook, one question remains: What enduring understandings should you take away?
Below we provided a series of enduring understandings to take away from each week. Read each one, then write down the “toy” for that week that you would find most helpful to utilize throughout your practice as a BIPOC anti-racist.
Week 1: Recognizing and celebrating your ancestral origins of joy and wellness is one way to move through intergenerational trauma (individually and as a collective)
Ways to celebrate your history
Listing “I am” statements as affirming statements
Revisiting what phase you're in based on the phases of BIPOC racial identity framework and being able to provide reasons as to why.
Watching one of the “Conversations with…” to realize you’re not alone
Week 2: Every individual has privileged identities that add to their power and oppressed identities that subtract from their power. You too can be an ally to those with overlapping marginalized identities.
Definitions of privilege and oppression
The wheel of power/privilege from Sylvia Duckworth
Week 3: Instead of feeling safe to express and share emotions, internalized oppression tells us to hide them. The impact of this is that these thoughts can compound and take a psychological, physical, and emotional toll on a person. But remember you matter. There’s a process to determine if you’re experiencing oppression. There are also strategies for navigating them.
Reassessing the presence of internalized racism within you by taking the survey
Remembering affirmations associated with microaggressions, racial gaslighting, tone policing, and imposter syndrome
Steps to answer the question “How do I know if I’m experiencing acts of oppression?”
Steps to answer the question “How do I decide whether to speak up or stay silent?”
Strategies for navigating internalized oppression
Week 4: If you are to sustain your work, a critical key to your development is recognizing your triggers, what sets them off, and ways to manage them.
How your body responds when triggered
Triggers Response Inventory-Do you tend to fight, flee, or freeze?
Week 5: Naming, process, and expressing your emotions are important. That entails metabolizing through the discomfort and recognizing who is in your circle of support.
Steps for how to process your feelings
Referring to Non-Violent Communication’s Feelings Inventory to dig deeper into your emotions
Week 6: You have superpowers; it's up to you to decide how you harness and use them to create change.
Reviewing your list of superpowers, talents, and skills that you bring to the world or visiting “Find Your Role in a Social Change Ecosystem”
Levels of BIPOC Action and Care framework, from individual to collective
Filling out a changemaker form to unpack and think through a change you want to make
Ways to engage in soulcare individually and in community
Creating a peace plan (How will you bring peace to your body, mind, and spirit?)
Week 7: Freedom dreaming gives you the right to envision and make gains toward the world you want to live in for yourself and for generations to come. We all must strive to create critical, deep, trustful, interdependent, and empathetic relationships.
Revisiting what freedom dreaming entails for BIPOC
Understanding the difference between dismantling and building
Ask yourself questions from our Where Do We Begin Freedom Dreaming
Sharing micro-moments of freedom dreaming
Reflect—
Reflect—
In a journal or in conversation with another person doing this work, ask yourself:
Based on each week’s enduring understanding, which one made the most impact on you and why?
Seeing as conversations around race are ongoing, so is the likelihood of conflict and disagreement. However, are we always equipped with the words to navigate it?
This last section is inspired by our first BIPOC Activism Group, who expressed the desire to have language to address harm being done, whether it’s in an individual or group setting.
Frequently Asked Questions
Frequently Asked Questions
Note: These are answers and suggestions that operate under the assumption that you’ve decided to speak up.
Q: Am I being overly sensitive about my colleague who continues to do… (fill in the blank)
A: No, you’re not. No one can tell you what you’re experiencing, nor can they tell you how to feel. You are the expert on yourself. Sharing this may sound like “I wanted to take the time to share my perspective on _____ and then would want to hear your perspective. How does that sound?” or “I noticed ______ happened, I’d like to share my thoughts with you about the impact that had on me.”
Q: What would I say to my boss who made a racist statement after a meeting?
A: Power dynamics complicate this matter, especially if there’s a history of employees being punished for speaking up or raising important issues. Here are some ways you can share your concerns with your boss
One way to start could be, “I know there are lots of factors you have to take into consideration. I just want to make sure that as you think about it, you are aware that…”
Tell your boss what matters to you and why. (i.e., “It matters to me that everyone feels comfortable and safe when we are having these conversations. There are people who can help execute XYZ of your ideas…”
“I want to talk about the best way to share information with you that impacts staff morale, productivity, and feelings of belonging. What would be the best way to do that?"
Q: I have a co-worker who has the same racial identity as me, but she’s always willing to "one up" me in front of my boss. Should I talk to her?
A: It depends. You should be asking these questions to yourself—Why is the "one upping" bothering me? Is it affecting my performance? Is it affecting my longevity at the organization? If you find that this person’s actions are negatively impacting how you show up, it may be worth a conversation. If the person is just bothersome, think about the ways to build rapport with the person. Ask them questions. Understand how they work. Often competition is an indication that the person sees that you are knowledgeable in your field and wants to emulate that.
Q: My white colleague apologized for making a comment about my hair, but then over-apologized and incessantly explained what their intent was. I now feel it’s my responsibility to make them feel better. What should I do when this happens?
A: If you feel pressure to comfort this person, stop right there. Lean into the discomfort of receiving this apology. Keep your responses short and sweet. A “Thank you” is sufficient and walk away.
If a white person, in their apology to you, says they plan to take action on something, you can say, “Thank you. I’ll be looking forward to seeing you put that into action” and walk away.
Q: (For Black-identifying people) What would I say to my friend who says that we need to address the Black-on-Black crime as well as Black Lives Matter?
A: CNN, in its article "Your big questions, about race answered," has a beautiful two part answer to this question where they share that in crimes where Whites were victims, the offender was 62.1% of the time. When Blacks were victims, the offender was Black 70.3%. It’s common for victims and perpetrators to share the same race. Black Lives Matter has protested against black-on-black violence and the impact racism has on communities of color.
Q: Someone told me that I can be racist towards white people even if I identify as Black. What should I say to them?
A: There are scholars that have argued both cases. Some have argued that Black people cannot be racist, as Black people do not control the systems and institutions that give white people advantage. Black folks can be prejudiced, but not racist.
Ibram X. Kendi however, proposes that a person is either racist or anti-racist. Black people, if they are not persistently working to be anti-racists can fall into being racist, but it looks different than what being racist is for white people. In this case, Black people are participating in systems that oppress Black people, not oppressing white people.
What additional guidance do you need to navigate these conversations? Please email us antiracismeveryday@gmail.com for ongoing support!
This workbook was created for you. Based on my experiences as a Black, queer, non-binary person, what I’ve seen as my trajectory into activism is what I’ve laid out for you in Weeks 1-8. We hope the BIPOC Activist Book filled you with hope, gave you some measure of healing, and pushed your limits of reflection.
Feed Your Soul: Referenced and Additional Resources
Feed Your Soul: Referenced and Additional Resources
The following are good supplements to the work you did above, if you are looking to dig deeper into this topic.
Referenced
Referenced
"Beginning Courageous Conversations about Race" by Glenn E. Singleton and Cyndie Hays
Courageous Conversations About Race by Glenn E. Singleton
"Elevating Black Voices" by Resmaa Menakem
"Can Black People Be Racist?" by Ibram X. Kendi
Additional
Additional
"White Supremacy Culture-Still Here" by Tema Okun
"Why People of Color Need Spaces Without White People " by Kelsey Blackwell
"More than a Buzzword: Intersectionality as a Tool for the Workplace" by Melissa Abad
"From Safe Spaces to Brave Spaces-A New Way to Frame Dialogue Around Diversity and Social Justice" by Brian Arau and Kristi Clemens
Acknowledgements
Acknowledgements
I’d like to acknowledge the following people and organizations that contributed and supported the birth of the BIPOC Activist workbook:
Rebecca Grodner
Jesse Miller
Rachael K. Sharpe
Creative Strategies for Change, Denver, CO
Alyea Canada
Helen Burnside
BIPOC Activist Group members
Susan Kaplan
Interested in Doing More of This Work?
Interested in Doing More of This Work?
The activities and materials on this page were created for the Anti-Racism Every Day BIPOC Activism Discussion Group. All are welcome to join us to continue this work and benefit from the power of collective reflection and discussion.
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