Spotlight on: RAF Coningsby

“This is a frontline operational base, and we have 2,200 service personnel here as well as their families. There are a lot of deployments, all around the world – and they have a big impact for those left behind. Whether you’ve got children or not, when the person you’re sharing your life with goes away for three, four or maybe even six months, you’re potentially feeling isolated and lonely. Your friends, your family support network might be far away. If you have kids, you’ve gone from two people to one juggling all the childcare, the school runs, the finances, the impact it has on children and young people - it requires a lot of resilience, and it’s hard. And on return, the other parent has missed three to four months of life on the base. All of a sudden you’ve got to relearn the rules of being together as a family - which can be really difficult.” 

That’s why a grant from our Apart, Not Alone programme is funding a new role in the station’s community development team – enabling them to run more events for partners and families while their loved ones are away. 

What may look like a fun day or a meal out with other families during a deployment is actually a vital signalling post for the team: helping them spot when someone may need a listening ear or more support. And being with others going through similar experiences builds those crucial reserves of resilience, as Ben Rossi, Community Development Manager, told us: 

“You might just rock up to an attraction and you know it seems all fun. But we’ve done that because all of a sudden you might meet somebody who’s isolated as well. There’s a support network of people from your station and before you know it, you’ve made a friend. 

“It doesn’t make the situation necessarily any better, but you have somebody you can talk to, someone you can do things with. So you’re not alone anymore. For us, it’s not actually about the event: it’s that interaction before and during it. It’s that I can get you to talk to me. You think you’re getting a free meal, but I’m checking you’re OK. I’m making sure that you know that we’re here for you.” 

The project will also enable the team to make weekly school visits. “These children are sacrificing, you know, like that girl whose dad missed those birthdays. She’s had to give that up, you know? I can’t fill that gap. But what I can do is come into school with a takeaway pizza for the group of military children whose parents are deployed and say ‘How are you all doing?’ 

“We’ve got books, we’ve got toys and games and colouring, all sorts to distract them just for a moment from something they might be feeling. There might be loads of children who don’t need that help and support, but if we get even one, it’s all worth it.”