The next few weeks felt like my own personal living hell. Anil was too hurt to listen to me, to believe that the kiss was without my consent. Even if it was, he'd said, he couldn't get it out of his head and that made it impossible for him to be with me.
Eshan tried to comfort me, but I felt uncomfortable and suddenly unsure of his intentions, so I avoided him as much as possible.
Because we were filming scenes together almost daily, I could hardly avoid Anil. I just had to pretend that it wasn't killing me not to be with him, but I doubt anyone was fooled.
The worst of it came when we filmed the scene where Rama's brother takes Sita into the forest and informs her that Rama is exiling her.
We stood among the trees, the scene playing out in my head over and over again. The director called "Action!" and I played my part.
"When will Rama be joining us?" I asked, looking at the actor playing Lakshmana as we walked side by side.
He took my hand and stopped walking, looking at me with tear-filled eyes.
I hardly heard him as he said his own lines, that I was to live with the rishi Valmiki, that the people's questioning of my purity and faithfulness to Rama was too much for the kingdom — and its king, my husband — to bear.
I begged him to reconsider, to let me speak with Rama, but it was no use.
"He would exile, abandon, his pregnant wife?" I asked, my voice breaking, tears flowing freely down my cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, Sita, but I know my brother and his mind is made up."
"Fine. Do what you must. Leave me here. But know I will never forgive either of you for this."
I watched as he walked away, sinking to my knees and crying with despair. While I was only doing what the script said, I realized that most of these tears were real.
Just like Rama and his people didn't trust that Sita had done right by him, Anil didn't trust me. Just like Rama had exiled Sita, Anil had pushed me away.
I heard the director call "Cut!" and was brought back out of my own head.
Immediately I was overwhelmed with affirmations that I did amazing, that we might not even need to do another take, that they could really feel Sita's despair through my acting.
I faked a smile and thanked everyone, accepting the tissues needed to wipe the tears away.
As I walked towards my chair to take a rest, my heart skipped a beat when I saw Anil standing back with some of the crew, watching me with an expression I couldn't read.
I immediately looked away and sat in my chair, wondering what he could possibly be doing here. I was pretty sure didn't have any scenes being filmed today. And when did he arrive? I hadn't seen him earlier, so he must have just showed up right before that scene.
When I got called back to continue filming, I looked around but Anil was gone.
***
By the time I was done for the day, I was exhausted. I collapsed on the couch in my hotel suite to watch something on TV.
After about thirty minutes, there was a knock on my door. I hadn't ordered any room service, so I couldn't imagine who it might be. I opened the door to see Anil standing there.
"Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked, barely able to contain my shock. We hadn't seen each other off set since before that day in my trailer.
He asked to come in and I allowed it. We stood awkwardly in the living room area, and I watched as he ran his hands through his hair. That beautiful, silky black hair. I missed the feeling of it in my hands.
"I guess I should start by saying I'm terribly sorry, Anika," Anil said, emotion filling his voice. "I can't explain what made me come to watch that scene today, but after I did, I realized how ridiculous I've been. How horrible I've been to you. When I saw you with Eshan, with your hands on him, it felt like my worst insecurities come to life. I didn't want to listen to you about what happened; I just wanted to wallow in my self-pity and jealousy."
I realized I'd been holding my breath, and I let it out slowly as I considered his words.
"I don't want to be like Rama," he said, eyes cast down. "I don't want to let one misunderstanding cause me to lose someone as amazing as you. I know I messed up, Anika, and you have every right to tell me to stay out of your life. But if there's any chance you can forgive me . . ."
He trailed off, finally looking back into my eyes.
"I think there's a small, teeny, tiny chance," I said, my lips forming a smile. "I know you were hurt, and we both should have stood up to Eshan earlier to avoid what happened. Of course I can forgive you, Anil. In the months I've known you, my life has been better for it. I don't want to lose that."
At these words, Anil closed the few feet between us and wrapped me in a tight bear hug. I'd never been more thankful for having trouble breathing.
Image Information: India Forest
Bibliography: Tiny Tales from the Ramayana
Author's Note: That's all folks! I really hope you've enjoyed reading through my storybook, I know I certainly enjoyed going on this adventure with Anika and Anil. Let me know in your comments how you feel about the ups and downs of their love story. Do you think Anika was right to forgive Anil? What would you have done in each of their shoes?
If you haven't read the Ramayana, then you should know that after Rama rescues Sita from Ravana, and even after she passes a purity test, he makes his brother Lakshmana take her into the forest and leave her there in exile. He does this because he is being told that the people in his kingdom question Sita's purity and faithfulness to Rama, and feel that she is not fit to be their queen. Rama ultimately decided to put his kingdom first, rather than his wife. Sita lives with the rishi Valmiki, gives birth to Rama's twin sons, and eventually the boys meet their father. Rama asks them to bring Sita so that she can prove her innocence in front of all of Ayodhya (not sure why he couldn't have done this initially...lol). Sita comes and says that she will prove her faithfulness to Rama by the earth-goddess Bhumi receiving her. Bhumi comes, takes Sita, and the ground swallows up the both of them.
So, obviously Rama and Sita do not have a very happy ending. This ending isn't a part of the original Ramayana, but was added later and is generally accepted as the ending to the epic. I wanted my characters to learn from the Ramayana characters mistakes, and to have a happy ending, at least for now.