District 16 Tri-Valley
Dublin - Pleasanton - Livermore
Help and hope for families and friends of alcoholics
Next Speaker Meeting on September 12
See Events Page for details
New On-Line Meeting starting Monday, August 31
See attached flyer for details
What is Al-Anon?
The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope, in order to solve their common problems. We believe alcoholism is a family illness, and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.
Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution; does not engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues for membership. Al-Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.
Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.
Monthly Speaker Meeting for D16.
Join us in-person on the 2nd Saturday at 7:00pm. See the flyer under Events.
Listen to different speakers every month.
COVID-19: Some Al-Anon meetings in the Tri-Valley are taking place online using Zoom at this time. All are welcome to join in the online meetings. Most Al-Anon meetings are meeting in-person and/or using a hybrid meeting format. Refer to the Meetings List for details.
Caring for the Parent Who Didn't Care for Me
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc, Virginia Beach, CA
I didn't realize I was raised in alcoholism. Mine felt like a typical Gen X childhood - latchkey kid, caring for younger siblings, parents who worked hard and partied harder. Only later did I understand the instability and trauma that shaped me. Looking back, I can see that alcoholism ran deep in my mom's family. Chaos was normalized. Safety wasn't.
Today, my mom is 74 and in declining health. My siblings and I are now her caretakers. Through the grace of God and Al-Anon, I worked the Steps, found compassion, and forgave her. I let go of long-held resentment.
But caregiving has stirred feelings I didn't expect. I love my mom and want to be there for her, but old wounds resurface. Boy, is she stubborn! Facing this, I'm learning how to balance compassion with boundries - how to care for her without abandoning myself. It's a challenge.
Recently, I had a meltdown at a meeting, my first in years. Despite this, I felt safe enough to be honest. Recovery doesn't mean this is easy. Many members understand the powerlessness of caring for a parent who may not drink anymore but still carries the "isms" or the same patterns of behavior.
Forgiveness, I'm discovering, is layered. Caregiving peels back tender places I thought had healed. Al-Anon reminds me that I can show up with dignity. I can love someone and still take care of myself, even as I grieve what I didn't have.
Today, I'm grateful that, thanks to God and my Al-Anon community, I didn't have to fall apart alone.
By Chrissy J., GA
