A Survivor's Source

A compilation of resources for the bereaved

Approximately one million people die by suicide annually (Levi-Belz and Levi-Ari, 2019).

An average of 135 acquaintances are affected, and of these 135 individuals, at least 25 people fall into the category of suicide survivors—those that were significantly affected and bereaved (Cerel et. al, 2009). Furthermore, the grief that suicide survivors experience has been argued as “different [and perhaps more difficult] than other losses." Why?

Disenfranchised Grief

First coined by grief expert Kenneth Doka in 1989, disenfranchised grief can be described as the emotions one feels when their loss is not "openly acknowledged, socially sanctioned, or publicly mourned" (Bryant & Peck, 2009). Those who lost a loved one to suicide are more likely to feel that their grief is disenfranchised, due to the stigma surrounding these traumatic deaths. Less public sympathy is often offered to those who lose someone to suicide. This in turn leads survivors to bottle things up instead of discussing their experience with their friends and other loved ones, depriving them of the cathartic experience of shared grief.

Finding the right people to vent to is important, and can make all the difference in the grieving process. In a support group or one-on-one setting, there is less reason to fear judgment from others when discussing deaths that are not considered socially acceptable to talk about in public.

Complicated Grief

Complicated grief can be defined as "prolonged, unresolved, or traumatic grief" (Levi-Belz and Levi-Ari, 2019, p. 2). Losing someone to suicide drastically increases the bereaved's chances of developing CG, with nearly half of suicide survivors experiencing complicated grief (Mitchell et al., 2004). Survivors experiencing complicated grief are ten times more likely to have suicidal thoughts and attempts, compared to other bereaved individuals (Levi-Belz and Levi-Ari, 2019).

Symptoms of complicated grief include intense periods of yearning and emotional pain, frequent thoughts of the deceased, inability to accept the loss, as well as avoidance of reminders of the loss (Levi-Belz and Levi-Ari, 2019). Left untreated, complicated grief increases the chances of many psychological and physical health issues. Quality of life is negatively impacted, with poorer social functioning, worsened mental health scores, and lower energy (Mitchell et al., 2004). In 1997, Prigerson and Bierhals conducted a study among elderly subjects who had lost their spouse to a terminal illness. They found that those experiencing complicated grief had substantially higher rates of heart troubles, cancer, headaches, and flu.

Altogether, it is easy to see just how difficult losing someone to suicide can be; the combination of disenfranchised and complicated grief puts survivors in an incredibly difficult position, and thus, it’s entirely unfair for survivors to have to bear the burden of this kind of loss on their own, especially when suicide rates are at the highest they’ve ever been before. Moreover, according to Cerel et al., “Most suicide survivors do not seek out formal or informal support or mental health treatment. Only about 25 percent of [those surveyed]... reported receiving any help since the suicide, despite seventy-four percent indicating a desire for help” (2009, p. 271). These startling numbers indicate a serious problem: that survivors are not receiving the help and assistance they need.

Therefore, those who are left behind need support, and that is exactly what we are here to offer. At a Survivor's source, we believe that community and media representation are essential for the bereaved.

The Importance of Community

In a 2008 study by McMenamy, Jordon & Mitchell, 94% of 63 survivors found attending a support group to be moderately to highly helpful. All of the survivors reported that speaking to other suicide survivors was moderately to highly helpful. Finding community in a support group can help those experiencing loss identify with others through sharing their story as well as listening to others. To read more about the benefits of support groups, as well as discover support groups near you, click here.

Why Media Representation?

Having one's identity and lived experiences not only acknowledged but represented in the media can work to create some semblance of normalcy for the survivor. Losing a loved one to suicide can be a completely disorienting and isolating experience; thus, media representation can serve as a source of validation for survivors, reminding them that their feelings at this difficult time are completely normal. Additionally, visualizing others regaining some sense of normalcy as they move through the grieving process is a reminder that it will eventually get better.

To read about particular representations of suicide survival in media, click here.

Personal Narratives

Personal narratives can also be a useful tool for survivors, especially if they are not yet comfortable attending group support or have found they aren't for them. These usually exist via online forums, where survivors can recount their personal life stories and read and respond to others. Like support groups, they can provide solace via the connection of shared traumatic experiences; at a time in one's life where they may be feeling isolated and alone, reminders of community are essential.