Specific Prayer for Mate

I want to make it clear that many single young women do not have a mate because they are ignorant of biblical principles of faith and being specific when making a prayer request to the Lord.

James 4:2 (NIV)

² . . .You do not have, because you do not ask God.

The last part of James 4:2 instructs the believer that they do not have because they do not ask God. God wants to be involved in their personal lives and He wants to answer specific prayers. The believer would never know that God answered their prayer unless they pray for something in specific manner.

There is a passive attitude demonstrated concerning the topic of prayer when believers are not specific but only say that God knows best. This type of passive attitude robs God of the blessing he would receive by answering specific prayers of his children. When they pray for something in specific manner and God answers those prayers then their hearts will overflow with rejoicing and thanksgiving to God because they know God has answered their specific prayer request. But if no specific request is made then the believer will never know if it was God who answered their prayers or not.

David Yonggi Cho shares a testimony of an old spinster who made a specific request to God for a spouse. She was growing old without an answer to prayer until she was instructed how to pray in specific manner. Then God answered her request in great detail. It was obvious it was God because the request was fulfilled in stunning accuracy with every detail just as this woman made to God in a prayer request for her mate.

See the link “Fourth Dimension-Cho” for more details.

Being Specific in Asking God for a Mate

The reason that unmarried women must ask for a mate in “specific” manner is because God will honor their choice and their human freewill. They have to dwell with this man and they have to choose to serve this man so they must have the right guy for this reason. It is more important for a woman to ask God for a specific mate because she is required to submit to him. A man could for example choose from a number of compatible girls and marriage could work out for him simply because he is the head of the home and God’s word requires that the women submit to their husbands. But for a single lady she needs a specific man that she is compatible with whom she can submit to. It is this man she will become one-person together with in marriage.

Psalm 37:4-5 (NIV)

⁴ Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

⁵ Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:

This scripture speaks of God giving the “desires” of the heart so this can also be applied to the fact that God can place these desires in the heart. Therefore God-given “desires” can guide the believer in the path that God has for their lives.

In my case I had some desires for a husband so I decided to make a specific list of these things.

My Soulmate List

Mark 11:24 (KJV)

²⁴ Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

The KJV speaks of those things you desire when you pray so this can be applied to the believer and the desires that they present to the Lord in a specific prayer request for a spouse.

Mark 11:24 (NIV)

²⁴ Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

This scripture addresses the believer and speaks of them believing that they receive the things they have asked of God in prayer. When this is done then these things will come into “manifestation” for the believer. This is part of exercising a specific request by faith before God.

Some of the specific things that I requested for my husband:

Nationality and Occupation

I wanted to have a Caucasian American traveling preacher for a husband.

It took me a while in making this decision to ask for a preacher over a businessman because I had been seeking financial security in life. But I finally chose to have “spiritual fellowship” over “financial security” so I asked for a preacher instead. This is an important topic for Levite women because those Levite women who marry a layman for financial security will typically end up without an avenue for ministry. This can ruin their lives when they have a burning desire for spiritual things but find no fulfillment in being a wife to a layman. Levite women are endowed with spiritual resources by God for the purpose of being a helpmeet to a Levite husband. If they do not marry a Levite man, they will forever be without any means of utilizing the spiritual resources that God has given to them. It is for this reason a Levite woman is to have a Levite husband. I made the right choice to choose spiritual fellowship over financial security for this reason.

Laywomen girls (who are not born to be a Levite woman) should also be specific about the occupation or job or business of the layman spouse that they want to receive from God. Never should they be general in prayer or use the faith destroying words “God knows best” and then fail to be specific about the mate they request from God. Failing to be specific can delay their answer to prayer for decades and they can grow old as a spinster if they do not make a “specific request” to God for a spouse.

Man of faith, man of prayer and who walks in love

I wanted to have a man of faith and a man of prayer and a man who walks in love. These things however were not fully evident immediately upon marriage but were things that God was working in the life of my husband over time. I discovered that this prayer request was as if I was seeking for a perfect man but God was at work on developing these types of things in their husbands. Women should not entertain fanciful ideas when asking for a mate by expecting him to be “perfect” when they meet him. Typically, this is something that God is working on to develop and it is God’s business to “perfect” or mature their “would-be” husband.

Also, a woman should not look to any humans (including a husband) to make her happy and fulfilled because that is something that they must seek from God alone. God is a jealous God and if they have a wrong attitude in this area it can hinder their prayers and delay their answer for a mate. There is no “pie-in-the-sky” type of happiness found in marriage where they live happily ever after without conflict. It is a process of purification and marriage helps to destroy the selfish sin nature that is so evident in single-unmarried people who have not yet gone through the crucifixion of their sin nature by being married.

No, they are not wait to marry because the change in their lives typically occurs once they are married. God was busy purifying the character of both Ken and myself after we were married. In fact, God has given us a life-time of homework in becoming like Christ! Behold we have been struggling on this assignment ever since we were married until now!

Biblical Beliefs the Same as My Own

This is an important issue because if a woman marries someone who does not hold the same beliefs, they will forever be strangers in the same house. They have to be compatible in faith and biblical beliefs because the woman is to be a helpmeet to her husband and adapt herself to him. If he does not believe the same way then how can they walk together in unity if he tears her down or resists the things which she herself embraces? Single ladies must clarify to the Lord that they want to have someone of the same biblical beliefs so that they can have unity in marriage and they can easily submit to their husband and become one together with him. I wanted a man who was filled with the Holy Spirit and speaks in tongues and believes in healing and prosperity and is seeking for the operation of the Nine Gifts of the Spirit so that we flow together in unity over bible truth as a couple. Spiritual compatibility is of vital importance because the woman is to adapt herself to her husband and become one with him. It is therefore crucial that the woman ask God for a specific husband so that she is able to adapt herself to him and become “one-person” together with him in marriage.

Height of Husband who is 5’ 11” Tall

This may not seem important but being specific like this was great when God provided exactly what I prayed for to the very inch! We would not know if it was God who answered our prayers unless we are specific about it. One time read that someone saw Jesus in an open vision and estimated he was 5-feet and 11-inches tall so I just asked God for a husband of the same height. But this turned out to be something specific that caused rejoicing in my heart when I heard that Kenneth was exactly 5-feet and 11-inches tall just as I had asked from God in my specific prayer. It proved to be one more confirmation that God answered my specific prayer for a mate.

Same age or younger and good looking

For his looks I wanted someone who was attractive in my eyes. I asked God for a man with light brown hair because I thought that blonde would be too much of a contrast with my black Asian hair. I asked for gray/blue eyes and long artistic fingers. I added many other details which are too personal to mention. Again, it should be noted that if a single girl does not ask God in specific manner then she will not know if God has answered her prayer when her mate shows up.

Again, see the link “Fourth Dimension-Cho” for more details about a specific prayer for a mate.

Circumcised Man

There are spiritual reasons for circumcision as well which is related to a man having a covenant with God. That may be one of the reasons why circumcision sounded attractive to me so I asked the Lord for this in a husband.

Genesis 17:12-13 (NIV)

¹² For the generations to come every male among you who is eight days old must be circumcised,

¹³ My covenant in your flesh is to be an everlasting covenant.

I also wanted to have this for sanitary reasons for myself; and also, for the good reason that God is behind this and God never does anything in vain.

I was also concerned about an adult male having to do this procedure because it would ensue a big painful recovery afterward. I was relieved to find out that Ken said his parents had him circumcised as an infant. It should be noted that God lives in a timeless place so if a girl prayed such a prayer for a circumcised man then God could go back in the past and inspire his parents to perform the circumcision at birth. The same is also true of God going back to the time of conception and creating a specific man in exact detail as Kenneth within his mother’s womb. I got all of these details exactly as I had prayed for them. In fact, God spoke to me audibly one time and said, “According to my faith it would be done unto you!” Nothing is too difficult for the Lord so girls should be very specific in ordering a mate and God can answer their specific prayers. This brings glory to God’s name when they receive exactly the one God had created for them in response to their prayer of faith!

No Children

Children are a gift of God and most women should desire to have children. But I happened to have a bad experience when I once attended Nurse’s Aide Training and witnessed a childbirth that put fear in me when I saw the doctor cut the birth canal open for delivery. So, at the time when I made my prayer, I had not yet overcome this fear so I asked for a husband who did not want any children. Obviously, it would be a problem if one spouse desired children and one did not so that would be in conflict so I asked for a husband who did not want any children. It was amazing that Kenneth was like me and thought it was best since we were in the traveling ministry not to have kids. Normally God would want most couples to have children as a means of procreation and to carry on the biblical values of their parents to the next generation so most women should pray for a spouse that wants children the same as they also do.

Fear of Pregnancy

When I was a single girl, I knew in my heart I would be marrying a foreigner. At that time there was an offer to attend a Nurse’s Aide Training school which offered job placement in the US so this sounded good to me and I thought I might be able to meet my foreign husband in this manner. But I was not suitable for that type of job and only ended up getting fear when I saw the opening of a birth canal. But after marriage the Lord had to deal with me about this fear of pregnancy which I developed from me attending that mismatched Nurse’s Aide Training School. I had to submit to the Lord in this area and be willing to have children if it was his will. The Lord said that I passed the test when I was willing to do anything the Lord would require of me. It should be noted however if someone has one area in which they refuse to surrender to the Lord then the Lord will deal with them over this issue. They have to be “willing” to do anything for the Lord even if he does not always require them to do that specific thing.

The Lord spoke to me concerning this fear of pregnancy and said that I was too self-centered and interested only in my own comfort or convenience. This area of pregnancy was something that I had not fully given to the Lord.

Some have done similar things with something like fearing to be a missionary. They feared if they made Jesus the Lord of their lives then he might require them to be a missionary. But the Lord requires obedience in every area but if they were called to be a missionary then they would love to do that and God would anoint them and give them a desire for that role. Even if God does not require them to go, God will still require them to be willing to do so. If they are unwilling then this would be an area of rebellion in their lives.

So, this thing of fear of pregnancy was something that was holding me back spiritually and was not an area that was fully submitted to the Lord at that time.

1 Samuel 15:23 (NKJV)

²³ For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He also has rejected you from being king."

Even King Saul was obedient in 99% but held back in one area of obedience. When someone refuses lordship over one area then this is called rebellion and witchcraft.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV)

⁹ "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

God’s grace is sufficient for all things without exceptions and the same faith used for finances or healing also applies to overcoming all things related to complete consecration and obedience to God.

God cannot tolerate anything in the lives of a believer where they say that they will do anything for the Lord “except this one thing!” That “one-thing” then becomes a point of rebellion and resistance against the Lord.

Those who fear being a missionary are foolish because if they have no desire to be one then it is obviously not God’s will for them to go. In their ignorance however they make it into a point of rebellion against God and even risk going to hell in fear that they might have to obey God if he should ask such a thing of them.

At this point they create an obstruction between themselves and God which is unnecessary. This obstruction however can hinder them for the rest of their lives from entering the fullness of what God has for them.

Therefore, I had to deal with this obstruction of “fear of pregnancy” and be willing and then I experienced the release I was seeking from the Lord. There is no excuse for any believer to hold back from the Lord for any reason. Once they release such a thing to the Lord then typically, they will not be required to so that thing which they feared. They only had to be willing to do anything and not have anything in their hearts which becomes a point of refusal or rebellion before God.

No Traditional Wedding

I did not have a desire for a traditional wedding and thought it was boring and prayed for a husband who was the same. Kenneth was amazed that I felt like that because he also did not want to have a traditional wedding either but he assumed he would have to endure it for the sake of the wife so she would not mourn about not having one all of her life! Again, most people would want to have a wedding and that is OK but it was just one more specific prayer answered. We were officially married at the US Embassy in Seoul without ceremony and that was good enough for us and was the beginning of our new life together.

Love life and marital relations

I had certain desires for marital relations and I specifically asked that my husband would have the same so that we would be “sexually’ compatible as well.

Hebrews 13:4 (CJB)

⁴ Marriage is honorable in every respect; and, in particular, sex within marriage is pure. But God will indeed punish fornicators and adulterers.

These scriptures say that sex within marriage is pure and this means that a married man and his wife should have no inhibitions of any kind and they can fully enjoy sexual relations as a married couple knowing that all sex within marriage between a married man and woman are pure in God’s sight. There is nothing sinful in marital relations for this reason and the married couple should be able to enjoy their relations fully without inhibitions.

James 4:2 (NIV)

² You do not have, because you do not ask God.

The scripture says that a believer does not have because they do not ask so I most certainly asked God for specific things related to physical relations in marriage. Again, a girl should be honest about her desires in this area with God. God does bless sex in marriage because it is holy and because God is the one who created sex for marriage for the pleasure of the married couple. A married couple has a great capacity to enjoy their sexual union together because everything in the marriage sexual relationship is blessed by God. The only sexual relations that are cursed by God are those that fall outside of a man and a woman joined together in marriage. All sex within marriage is blessed and the couple should pray to God together for great enjoyment (orgasm). As it turned out my prayers were answered and we are really sexually compatible, flowing together great in love life. I’d like to stress this because this part plays an important role in marriage. When there is a fight or problem often sexual relations are something that brings healing and restoration in the relationship between a man and woman as they express their love toward one another. We never engage in sexual relations if there is any form of animosity or bad feelings toward each other. We have to make up first and communicate in honest manner and clear the air and forgive each other before we would engage in marital relations. Sex in marriage is an emotional and mental thing and if there is any type of hindrance or bad relations or bad feelings between the married couple or offense then it will shut off the switch and no pleasure can be obtained. Without good feelings between the married couple then sex will be reduced to something mechanical and there will be no pleasure or feeling involved with it. We therefore made a commitment never to engage in marriage relations unless we have made up and are restored and have good feelings toward one another. Nothing can shut off sexual pleasure faster than offense or bad feelings within the marriage relationship.

Married couples need their emotional and physical needs met and satisfied by married sexual relations. It is a need that is as common as hunger for food or thirst for water. A married man can be ministered to and uplifted by sexual relations with his loving wife to energize him and pull him out of depression and help him to look to God in faith again. It is something that ministers to him spiritually and emotionally and physically and sexual relations is just as important to the wife as well.

Immediate proposal!

I had prayed specifically to the Lord that I would have an immediate marriage proposal because I had been a miserable single girl long enough. I had delayed meeting my man because I was not clear in my request for a long time because I had wanted financial security from a businessman and did not get clear in my request for a Levite man until sometime later. After wasting many years without making a specific prayer, I did not want to waste any more time. So, I asked that when I met the right one that God would have him propose to me right away. Kenneth surprised himself in proposing to me only four-hours after he met me! God actually moved him to do this as a fulfillment of my specific prayer request. It was these specific answers to prayer that confirmed that Kenneth was indeed a “tailor-made” man created by God just for me!

Single girls should really pour their desire out before God and hold nothing back in making their list of what they want in a spouse. The devil often tormented my mind that no such man could possibly exist and that I was making it too hard for the Lord. But nothing is impossible for God and God can even go back in time and create that person in the womb according to their exact specifications!

Requesting both Spiritual and Natural Sides

There is both a spiritual side and a natural side so the ladies need to pray to the Lord for both natural and spiritual things and what it is that they specifically want in a mate.

Revelation 1:8 (NIV)

⁸ "I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty."

This scripture speaks of God being the Alpha and Omega which is the beginning and the end. God is in the present and was in the past and is in the future.

Revelation 1:17 (NIV)

¹⁷ When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last.

These scriptures speak of God being the first and the last. God is an eternal being and lives in a timeless place and can travel back and forth from beginning to present and in the future as well. Therefore, God can go back in time or go forward in the future to arrange events or create things in response to a specific prayer given in faith.

Luke 20:37-38 (NIV)

³⁷ But in the account of the bush, even Moses showed that the dead rise, for he calls the Lord 'the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.'

³⁸ He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive."

God is the God of the living and he is omniscient having infinite knowledge. In his foreknowledge God knew what little Helen would ask for in her mate and so created Kenneth in advance for me. So “ha-ha’ on the devil because I received the specific man that I had ordered from God in a specific prayer of faith.